We’ve come a long way from the days of the Salaf, and not always in the right direction. Their constant companion was the Qur’an. Ours, far too often, is a phone we can’t put down.
Phones sit in our hands, on our tables, and in our pockets, quietly demanding our attention from the moment we wake until the day ends.
And this doesn’t stop with us.
It reaches our children at the very start of their lives. Some won’t eat unless a screen is playing in front of them. Some won’t study, listen, or respond unless a phone is promised as a reward. Before discipline, patience, or love of Allah has a chance to settle, screens are already shaping habits and expectations.
Allah entrusted us with an Amanah. Our children are not just bodies to be fed and clothed. They are hearts to be guarded and souls to be directed.
This is not a call to reject technology. It is a call to wake up, take responsibility, and lead.
The Prophet ﷺ said:
أَلَا كُلُّكُمْ رَاعٍ وَكُلُّكُمْ مَسْئُولٌ عَنْ رَعِيَّتِهِ فَالْإِمَامُ الَّذِي عَلَى النَّاسِ رَاعٍ وَهُوَ مَسْئُولٌ عَنْ رَعِيَّتِهِ وَالرَّجُلُ رَاعٍ عَلَى أَهْلِ بَيْتِهِ وَهُوَ مَسْئُولٌ عَنْ رَعِيَّتِهِ وَالْمَرْأَةُ رَاعِيَةٌ عَلَى أَهْلِ بَيْتِ زَوْجِهَا وَوَلَدِهِ وَهِيَ مَسْئُولَةٌ عَنْهُمْ وَعَبْدُ الرَّجُلِ رَاعٍ عَلَى مَالِ سَيِّدِهِ وَهُوَ مَسْئُولٌ عَنْهُ أَلَا فَكُلُّكُمْ رَاعٍ وَكُلُّكُمْ مَسْئُولٌ عَنْ رَعِيَّتِهِ
“Every one of you is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock. The leader of people is a shepherd and is responsible for his subjects. A man is the shepherd of his family and he is responsible for them. A woman is the shepherd of her husband’s home and his children and she is responsible for them. The servant of a man is a shepherd of the wealth of his master and he is responsible for it. No doubt, every one of you is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock.” [Sahih al-Bukhari 7138]
Screens are Neutral, Content is Not
A screen, by itself, is only a tool. Like a knife, it can prepare nourishment or cause harm. No parent would place a knife in a child’s hand without guidance, supervision, and limits, because physical harm is immediate and visible. Screens are more dangerous because their harm is often invisible, shaping behaviour, mindset, and identity over time.
What children consume does not stay on the screen. It settles into the heart.
“Everyone Does It” Is Not an Excuse
One of the most dangerous phrases parents repeat is:
“It’s normal. Everyone allows their children.”
Islam was never built on “everyone.” Truth has always been a minority path.
- Allah says:
وَإِن تُطِعْ أَكْثَرَ مَن فِي الْأَرْضِ يُضِلُّوكَ عَن سَبِيلِ اللَّهِ ۚ إِن يَتَّبِعُونَ إِلَّا الظَّنَّ وَإِنْ هُمْ إِلَّا يَخْرُصُونَ
And if you obey most of those upon the earth, they will mislead you from the way of Allah. They follow not except assumption, and they are not but falsifying. [Al-An’am 6:116]
Normality is not a moral compass. Popularity is not guidance. Trends are not the truth.
Our responsibility is not to help our children blend in; it is to help them stand firm.
Why Too Much Screen Exposure Harms the Growing Child
1. ADHD and Attention Difficulties
Children with ADHD or attention challenges are especially impacted by screen exposure.
Screens provide instant stimulation, making real life feel slow and unrewarding. Over time, this worsens impulsivity, restlessness, and emotional regulation. Frustration increases. Focus weakens. Sitting with Qur’an, Salah, or study becomes increasingly difficult.
For these children, screens often do not calm them; they train the brain to crave constant reward. Discipline becomes harder. Worship feels heavier.
What benefits them instead is engagement, not stimulation: movement, hands-on activity, structure, routine, and purposeful tasks. These children need connection and involvement, not passive consumption.
2. Poor Communication and Social Skills
Excessive screen use quietly replaces human interaction.
Many children struggle to express emotions, hold conversations, or develop empathy. Screens begin to feel safer than people. Over time, this affects friendships, family bonds, marriage readiness, and community involvement.
Islam is a lived religion, not a digital one. Character is shaped through interaction, not just observation. Children learn how to be human by being with humans.
3. Poor Maturity of Intellect and Judgment
One of the most overlooked harms of early and excessive screen use is delayed intellectual maturity.
Screens do the thinking for the child. Imagination weakens. Reasoning is underdeveloped. Patience fades. Children become consumers rather than thinkers.
This affects the ability to reflect, weigh right and wrong, control desires, and sit with beneficial discomfort - whether learning, worship, or self-discipline.
A heart constantly entertained struggles to mature.
4. Exposure to Haram Content
Not all media harms are subtle. Some explicitly promote what Islam forbids. Children can encounter pornography, inappropriate images, glorification of violence, or immoral behaviour through videos, games, or social media. Even content that seems harmless at first, such as a popular show, can gradually introduce ideas, language, and attitudes that conflict with Islamic values.
Repeated exposure to haram content distorts understanding of right and wrong, normalises sinful behaviour, and weakens the conscience.
5. Even “Permissible” Entertainment is Not Always Safe
Many parents carefully avoid clearly haram content, yet underestimate the danger of “permissible” entertainment.
Even when content appears acceptable, independence with devices grows. Curiosity leads to clicking. Advertisements introduce immodest images, adult themes, and inappropriate visuals. Algorithms gradually push in such forms of content.
Many cases of exposure to pornography do not begin with deliberate searching, but with pop-ups, suggested videos, accidental clicks, or friends sharing content.
Once that door opens, the heart is deeply affected. Protection must be preventive, not reactive.
Step-by-Step Guidance for Safe Media Use
1. Using Devices for Need, Not Constant Entertainment
Not all screen use is equal.
There is a difference between using a device as a tool and using it as a source of amusement. Islam does not call us to abandon benefit; it calls us to use it with intention.
Devices can support real needs: learning Qur’an, studying Islam, completing schoolwork, attending beneficial classes, and developing useful skills.
This is where parents must take the lead, ensuring that children use screens only for benefit, only with permission, and only in their presence. Children should be taught early that devices are not to be used freely or alone, and that alongside benefit exists real harm.
Just as they are warned not to go out alone in the dark for fear of being harmed, they should be warned even more strongly about unsupervised screen use, where dangers are less visible but often more damaging.
The problem begins when screens shift from need-based use to habitual entertainment. Constant amusement trains the heart to seek comfort and escape on demand, weakening patience, focus, and spiritual resilience.
2. Filling the Heart With Light Before Darkness Competes
The heart cannot remain empty.
- Allah says:
اللَّهُ وَلِيُّ الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا يُخْرِجُهُم مِّنَ الظُّلُمَاتِ إِلَى النُّورِ
Allah is the ally of those who believe. He brings them out from darknesses into the light. [Al-Baqarah 2:257]
The stronger a child’s relationship with Allah, the less appealing falsehood becomes. When children understand Who Allah is, that He sees everything they do, that He loves, protects, and rewards those who obey Him, and is displeased with those who disobey Him, they begin to live with awareness of their Lord.
A child grounded in Iman submits more, listens more carefully, obeys more readily, and becomes less stubborn and more patient.
3. Creating Structure and Boundaries With Wisdom
When screens are unrestricted, they quickly become a refuge for boredom, stress, and emotional escape. Structure teaches restraint, and restraint is a core Islamic value.
- Allah praises self-control:
وَأَمَّا مَنْ خَافَ مَقَامَ رَبِّهِ وَنَهَى النَّفْسَ عَنِ الْهَوَىٰ (٤٠) فَإِنَّ ٱلْجَنَّةَ هِىَ ٱلْمَأْوَىٰ (٤١)
But as for he who feared the position of his Lord and prevented the soul from [unlawful] inclination, then indeed, Paradise will be [his] refuge. [An-Nazi’at 79:40 - 79:41]
Children thrive on predictability. Clear rules around when, where, and why screens may be used reduce arguments, anxiety, and secrecy. Research consistently shows that children raised with firm but calm boundaries develop stronger self-control and emotional regulation over time.
Boundaries protect more than Iman. They protect sleep, mood, attention, and the ability to engage in Salah and learning. Most harmful content is not consumed openly. It is consumed alone, late, and unchecked. Wise limits close those doors before curiosity opens them.
4. Explaining, Not Just Restricting
Rules without explanation raise compliance, not conviction.
Several studies indicate that children internalise values more deeply when limits are explained with purpose, not enforced in silence. When parents explain why certain content is restricted, children are more likely to regulate themselves later, especially when supervision decreases.
This does not mean negotiating every boundary. It means anchoring limits to meaning.
Parents can explain, at an age-appropriate level, how constant scrolling fragments attention, reduces patience, and trains the brain to avoid effort and discomfort. These are the same abilities required for Salah, Qur’an, learning, and emotional regulation.
When children understand that limits exist to protect their hearts and minds, not to control them, obedience becomes more stable and resistance decreases over time.
5. Replacing Screens With Meaning
Removing screens without replacement creates frustration. Filling time with meaning creates fulfilment.
Children turn to screens when their need for purpose, connection, or stimulation is unmet. When those needs are fulfilled elsewhere, the pull of media weakens naturally.
Shared family activities, physical movement, household responsibilities, reading, Islamic stories, and skill-building give children a sense of usefulness and belonging. These are not distractions. They are forms of Tarbiyah.
Children who feel connected and valued at home are less likely to seek validation through screens. They are also more resilient to peer pressure and online influence.
Even background noise matters. Passive exposure still shapes mood, behaviour, and expectations. What fills the home fills the heart.
6. Delaying Social Media
Social media reshapes identity before a child is ready to form one.
It normalises shamelessness, encourages constant comparison, rewards attention-seeking behaviour, and exposes children to adult ideas long before they have the emotional or spiritual maturity to process them.
Research links early social media use to anxiety, low self-worth, and distorted self-image. For Muslim children, the danger is compounded. A child without a strong Islamic identity will borrow one from the internet.
Delaying social media is not deprivation. It is protection. It gives children time to develop confidence, values, and self-respect before being exposed to a world that profits from their insecurity.
7. A Home Filled With Iman
When Iman fills a home, harmful content feels out of place. A spiritually empty environment leaves children searching elsewhere for meaning.
Light repels darkness, but only when it is present.
8. Children Learn What We Live
Children imitate before they obey.
A parent attached to a screen cannot convincingly warn a child about its harm. What children see lived consistently carries far more weight than what they are told occasionally.
When parents use devices with purpose, restraint, and visible discipline, children learn that screens serve needs, not desires. And when the need ends, the screen is put away.
This lived example teaches moderation without lectures. It shows that control is possible, and that benefit does not require excess.
9. Teaching Children to Stand on Their Own
The goal is not control. It is conviction.
Protection does not mean raising children who behave when watched. It means raising children who choose obedience when alone, because their relationship with Allah is real.
That conviction grows through explanation, warmth, trust, praise for good choices, gradual responsibility, and a bond stronger than any screen.
The Prophet ﷺ educated hearts before correcting behaviour. Homes that nurture repentance, honesty, and guidance reduce the need for secrecy because children feel safe to speak before problems grow.
10. Never Underestimate the Power of Du‘a
One of the greatest protections for a child is the Du‘a of their parents, as the Du'a of a parent is accepted.
The Prophet said:
ثَلَاثُ دَعَوَاتٍ لَا تُرَدُّ دَعْوَةُ الْوَالِدِ وَدَعْوَةُ الصَّائِمِ وَدَعْوَةُ الْمُسَافِرِ
“The supplications of three are not turned back: the supplication of a father, the supplication of a fasting person, and the supplication of a traveller.” [As-Sunan al-Kubra lil-Bayhaqi 6392]
Even when effort feels weak, Du‘a is never weak.
Ask Allah:
- To guard their hearts
- To protect their eyes
- To strengthen their Iman
- And to make obedience beloved to them
Final Reflection
Tarbiyah is not optional. It is a responsibility every Muslim parent must study and take seriously.
When children are raised with love, wisdom, explanation, lived example, and Du‘a, harmful influences lose much of their power.
Our role is not perfection.
It is sincere effort, trust in Allah, and patience.
May Allah protect our children from this Fitnah, preserve their hearts, and raise them as servants who love Him and choose obedience willingly.
