He walked into your life when you least expected him. Maybe it was in a classroom, a masjid, or a late-night group chat. At first, it seemed casual, just another friendship. But with time, you realised this person was either pulling you closer to Allah or quietly dragging you away.
Some friendships are fleeting. Others leave a mark that shapes your Iman and character forever. In a world where companionship can make or break your journey to Allah, knowing who to keep close isn’t just wise, it’s necessary.
The question is what are the qualities of a good friend according to Islam?
Shaykh Bakr Abu Zayd رحمه الله defined friendship with striking precision:
وخذ تقسيم الصديق في أدق المعايير
"Consider the classification of friendship by the most precise standards." [Hilyat al-Talib al-Ilm 171]
From this, he divides friends into three distinct categories:
1. صديق منفعة The Friend of Benefit
This type of friend is only connected to you because of a worldly advantage they gain, or that you gain from them. It could be financial: they always cover your bills, pay for meals, or sort out your transport. It could be logistical: they always give you a ride, help with errands, or assist in your business. The relationship is transactional, built on exchange, not affection.
The moment the benefit disappears, so does the friendship. One missed payment, one favour withheld, one move across the city, and suddenly the bond breaks. What looked like loyalty was just convenience, wearing a smile. This kind of companionship is shallow. It isn’t built on shared belief, character, or love for Allah. It’s built on gain, and when the gain ends, so does the friendship.
Even in the Qur'an, Allah highlights such people:
وَمِنْهُم مَّن يَلْمِزُكَ فِي الصَّدَقَاتِ فَإِنْ أُعْطُوا مِنْهَا رَضُوا وَإِن لَّمْ يُعْطَوْا مِنْهَا إِذَا هُمْ يَسْخَطُونَ
“And among them are some who criticise you concerning the [distribution of] charities. If they are given from them, they approve; but if they are not given from them, at once they become angry.” [Surah At-Tawbah 9:58]
This isn’t love for Allah. It’s a bond built on gain, not sincerity. When the benefit fades, the connection withers. What looked like care was only a transaction. Nothing sacred remains.
Sometimes, this type of friendship appears in Da’wah. You might keep ties with a fasiq (open sinner) to help them improve. That may be praiseworthy, but the connection must never be mistaken for deep friendship. If they don’t change, you step away.
2. صديق لذة The Friend of Pleasure
These are people you enjoy spending time with. You laugh, you relax, maybe you play sports or hang out at coffee shops. But the relationship is built on fun, not purpose.
If the enjoyment stops, so does the friendship. Maybe you bonded over football or shared hobbies. One of you moves on, and the connection dissolves.
Even when permissible, Shaykh Bakr advises limiting these friendships, especially for the seeker of knowledge. Why?
Because these ties often:
- Distract from more important goals
- Shift your focus from learning to leisure
- Pull you into time-wasting habits
There’s a huge difference between having a permissible break with fellow students of knowledge versus spending all your free time with someone whose entire world is entertainment.
If you aim to grow in Iman and knowledge, you need companions who share that goal.
True friendship isn’t measured by laughter or fond memories, but by who stands beside you on the Day when laughter fades and only deeds remain.
3. صديق فضيلة The Friend of Virtue
This is the friend whose bond with you is planted deep in the soil of Iman and watered with sincerity. You don’t just meet for coffee, you meet to pray. You don’t just talk about life, you talk about the Hereafter. You walk together on the path of knowledge, stand shoulder to shoulder in Salah, your hearts tied by remembrance and hope. When one forgets, the other reminds. When one weakens, the other lifts. Your friendship isn’t built on laughter or comfort, but on tears shed in dua and steps taken together towards Jannah.
This is the rarest of all friendships.
وهو الذي باعث صداقته تبادل الاعتقاد في رسوخ الفضائل لدى كل منهما
"The motive behind this friendship is a mutual belief in the grounding of virtue in each of them." [Hilyat al-Talib al-Ilm 171]
This type is mentioned in the hadith:
رجلان تحابا في الله اجتمعا عليه وتفرقا عليه
"Two men who love each other for the sake of Allah, meet for that and part upon that." [Sahih al-Bukhari 1423]
And in another hadith:
وَجَبَتْ مَحَبَّتِي لِلْمُتَحَابِّينَ فِيَّ وَالْمُتَجَالِسِينَ فِيَّ وَالْمُتَزَاوِرِينَ فِيَّ وَالْمُتَبَاذِلِينَ فِيَّ
"My love is obligatory for those who love one another for My sake, sit together for My sake, visit one another for My sake, and give to one another for My sake." [Musnad Ahmad 22030]
These friends don’t just fill your time; they revive your heart. When you’re with them, the noise of the Dunya quiets down and the remembrance of Allah takes its place. You feel your Iman rise without even realising it, not because of what you’re doing, but because their company instils sincerity into everything you do.
They ask about your Qur’an memorisation, not to measure you, but to encourage you. They remind you of a hadith that fits your struggle perfectly, as if Allah sent it through their tongue. They urge you to stand for those extra rakat, to make dhikr when your heart feels heavy, to stay patient when it would be easier to give in. These are the qualities of a good friend who brings you closer to Allah.
Being with them may not always feel easy. At times, you’re stretched, nudged out of your comfort zone, and made to face parts of yourself you’d rather avoid.
Yet each time, you emerge a little stronger, like someone who’s just finished a long workout in the gym and feels a quiet satisfaction of growth stirring in those tired muscles. Every moment spent with them draws you a little closer to Allah.
Your focus returns. The distractions of the dunya suddenly feel small. Every conversation becomes an exchange of Fawaa’id (benefits). Time with them isn’t wasted, it’s invested.
So ask yourself, when was the last time you sat with someone and left with your heart softer, and your soul yearning for Allah? When was the last time a friend’s reminder made you lower your gaze, whisper astaghfirullah, and feel closer to your Lord?
Shaykh Bakr concluded:
وصديق الفضيلة هذا عملةٌ صعبة يعزّ الحصول عليها
"The virtuous friend is like rare currency, very difficult to find." [Hilyat al-Talib al-Ilm 172]
How to Identify the Right Kind of Friendship
Ask yourself: What is the foundation of this connection? Is it a benefit? Fun? Or shared devotion to Allah?
Allah says:
الْأَخِلَّاءُ يَوْمَئِذٍ بَعْضُهُمْ لِبَعْضٍ عَدُوٌّ إِلَّا الْمُتَّقِينَ
"Close friends, that Day, will be enemies to each other, except for the righteous." [Surah Az-Zukhruf 43:67]
The first two vanish with time, like shadows at sunset. The third shines brighter with every test, a friendship that lives on when this world ends and blooms again beneath the shade of Allah’s Throne, on a Day when a man will flee from his parents, spouse and children.
That’s why the Prophet ﷺ said:
المرء على دين خليله، فلينظر أحدكم من يخالل
"A person is upon the religion of his close companion. So let each of you look to whom he takes as a friend." [Sunan Abu Dawud 4833]
You Are Who You Sit With
Look around you. Who surrounds your days and fills your nights? Do they remind you of Allah or make you forget Him? Do they lift your Iman or quietly drain it drop by drop? Closer to Jannah or more attached to the Dunya?
And if death came tonight, would you want to be resurrected among them?
True friends will remind you of your Akhirah. They'll walk with you to the masjid, not the lounge. They’ll remind you to make dua when it rains and in the last hours of Friday, instead of sharing useless YouTube shorts.
If Allah blesses you with a friend of virtue, hold on to them as you would to faith itself. Protect that bond, nurture it with supplication, and thank Allah every time their presence lifts your heart. Such friendships are rare, and they are worth every effort to keep alive.
But if your circle is built on laughter, comfort, or gain, stop and ask yourself: Will these ties stand with you when you stand alone before Allah? Will they call your name on the Day of Reckoning or turn away as strangers?
Conclusion
So, are you ready to surround yourself with people who push you closer to Allah?
Start by changing your road. If you walk the road of the Dunya, you’ll meet those who live for it. But if you turn towards the road that leads to Jannah - the path of learning, sincerity, and striving - you’ll find different faces there. People who remind you of Allah. People whose presence anchors you when you begin to drift.
Begin now. Step away from those who waste your time, and seek those who help you use it well. Ask Allah to bless you with righteous companions - friends who love you for His sake and whom you love for His sake.
It was narrated that Huraith bin Qabisah said:
قَدِمْتُ الْمَدِينَةَ قَالَ قُلْتُ اللَّهُمَّ يَسِّرْ لِي جَلِيسًا صَالِحًا فَجَلَسْتُ إِلَى أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ - رضى الله عنه
"I arrived in Al-Madinah and said: 'O Allah, make it easy for me to find a righteous companion.' Then I sat with Abu Hurairah, may Allah be pleased with him. [Jami' at-Tirmidhi 413]
This reflection is drawn from a lesson on Hilyat al-Talib al-Ilm by Shaykh Bakr Abu Zaid. If you’d like to study this book and begin your own journey as a student of knowledge, explore our Student of Knowledge Programme. Maybe that’s where your road changes, where your walk towards Jannah truly begins.
