When dealing with family members who show enmity towards us because of our commitment to Islam, we must first remember the words of Allah, the Almighty in the Quran:
"The good deed and the evil deed are not equal.
Repel (evil) with that which is better, then indeed, the one between whom and you there was enmity will become as though he was a devoted friend.
But none is granted it except those who are patient, and none is granted it except one having a great portion (of good).
And if there comes to you from Satan an evil suggestion, then seek refuge in Allah. Indeed, He is the Hearing, the Knowing." (Quran 41:34-36)
This passage teaches us that we must respond to enmity with goodness and patience.
If Shaytan causes us to fall short in responding to others in the best manner, we should seek refuge in Allah, who is the All-Hearing and All-Knowing.
Key Principles for Dealing with Enmity:
- Respond with Goodness:
The enmity family members show towards us often stems from ignorance about Allah and His rights.
The best way to address this ignorance is by demonstrating the beauty of Islam through our actions and character. Always maintain the moral high ground and respond in the best possible way.
- Avoid Cutting Ties Unless Necessary:
Cutting ties with family members is only permissible only if it’s for the sake of Allah, the Almighty, i.e. if it serves a greater purpose, such as bringing them closer to the truth. However, in most cases, cutting ties with family members who show enmity because of your religion is unlikely to achieve this goal. Instead, it may further alienate them. - Find Common Ground:
When dealing with Muslim family members who are not practicing, try to identify common ground. For example, they may still have love for the Prophet ﷺ, the Quran, or certain acts of worship like dhikr. Use these shared values as a starting point for conversations and advice. - Tailor Your Approach:
Each individual is different, and there is no one-size-fits-all approach to giving advice. Consider the person’s temperament, beliefs, and relationship with you. Sometimes, involving others who can offer advice or using different styles of communication may be more effective. - Maintain Patience and Moral Integrity:
Even if others are doing wrong, we must strive to do what is right. Our goal should always be to please Allah and uphold the principles of Islam, regardless of how others behave.
Additional Considerations:
- For non-Muslim relatives, the approach may differ. Focus on finding ways to introduce them to Islam in a manner that resonates with their values and understanding.
- Always remember that the ultimate goal is to guide others to the truth while maintaining your own integrity and commitment to Islam.
Conclusion:
Dealing with family members who show enmity towards us because of our religion requires patience, wisdom, and a commitment to responding with goodness. By demonstrating the beauty of Islam and maintaining the moral high ground, we can hope to soften their hearts and guide them to the truth.
And Allah knows best.
— Answered by Ustadh Muhammad Tim Humble
