Note: This transcript was generated using AI and can contain inaccuracies.
Jazakallahu Khairan once again for joining me on the hot seat podcast not your first time of course and i like to remind anybody who's kind of coming across our podcast in the last few months that this is something that we started in 2019 and we've had about 20 to 21 episodes so far you've been on it numerous times so if anybody does want to see those episodes they can refer to our channel and have a look at the playlist section where they should see the hot seat podcast having said that.
This is probably one of the most requested episodes i think frequently when i go through the comment section a lot of people are asking for the topic of feminism and that's because it's so relevant particularly for muslims in the west in the last couple of decades perhaps there's been a real push to have gender neutrality gender equality and a lot of sincere Muslims whether they be brothers or sisters they really have the question on their mind is islam a misogynistic religion does it oppress women how does islam deal with the issue of men and women being equal and that's kind of the questions and the questions that i want to be answering today.
As i often do i'm going to give you a 10 minute introduction to lay down some principles and some foundations before we go into the discussion in a little bit more detail it is a very very important topic and it is a topic that a lot of people are asking about and i think it would be beneficial to lay down some principles that will help us to frame our discussion and maybe things we can come back to time and time again so very first principle that i want to share with everyone is that islam.
Islam is a religion of justice, not equality. It is a religion of justice not necessarily a religion of equality in everything I'll give you a couple of examples of that Allah said in Allah. Allah commands justice. And doing good to others. And giving to your relatives. So Allah Azawajal commanded justice.
But nowhere in the Quran did Allah command equality. Rather Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala in several places in the Quran Criticizes people who make things equal that are not equal. For example, Allah Azawajal said أَفَنَجَعَلُ مُسْلِمِينَ كَالْمُجْرِمِينَ مَا لَكُمْ كَيْفَ تَحْكُمُونَ Did we make or shall we make Muslims like criminals? What is the matter with you? How you judge? And many ayat Allah talked about how the heat is not equal to the shade And how the one who can see is not equal to the one who is blind and so on. So Islam is not a religion that commands equality necessarily.But it's a religion that commands justice. The second principle that I would like to lay down Is the basic concept in Islam that men and women are different. And that there isn't a virtue in men and women being the same.And for that of course we can quote the ayat in which Allah Azawajal tells us about the wife of Imran The mother of Maryam A.S. When she said رَبِّ إِنِّي وَضَعْتُهَا أُنْسَىٰ وَاللَّهُ أَعْلَمُ بِمَا وَضَعَتْ وَلَيْسَ الذَّكَرُ كَالْأُنْسَىٰ O my Lord, I've given birth to a girl And Allah knew better who she had given birth to. And the male is not like the female. It's interesting and I think probably not so much to cover too much now But just to touch upon the idea of Maryam How her mother envisaged she would have a boy And envisaged all the things that boy would do And yet Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala gave her better than what she envisaged By giving her, by giving her a girl And I think that's a beautiful, you know, something to come back to Just to remember that story of Maryam But to take from it the principle that men and women are fundamentally different I think it's really important to highlight that neither men nor women Have a choice when it comes to the Shari'ah of Islam And that is something in which men and women are equal Allah Azzawajal clearly said وَمَا كَانَ لِمُؤْمِنٍ وَلَا مُؤْمِنَةً إِذَا قَضَ اللَّهُ وَرَسُولُهُ أَمْرًا أَن يَكُونَ لَهُمُ الْخِيَرَةُ مِنْ أَمْرِهِمْ وَمَن يَعْصِ اللَّهَ وَرَسُولَهُ فَقَدْ ضَلَّ طَلَالً مُبِينًا It's not for a believing man Nor is it for a believing woman If Allah and His Messenger Decree something that they should have any choice in the matter Now here look at how Allah Azzawajal said The believing man, the believing woman It's not for the believing man, it's not for the believing woman Neither a man nor a woman has a right to Have a choice after the Shari'ah Was revealed on a particular matter After it's clear what Allah revealed on something And what the Prophet ﷺ judged on a matter Muslim men and Muslim women are equal In not having a choice And in being required to submit Okay The fourth principle that I would like to talk about Is that Islam isn't a woman submitting to a man It's about men and women submitting To Allah Azzawajal And in this Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala told us يَا أَيُّهَا النَّاسِ إِنَّا خَلَقْنَاكُمْ مِّن ذَكَرٍ وَأُنثَى وَجَعَلْنَاكُمْ شُعُوبًا وَقَبَائِلًا لِتَعَارَفُوا إِنَّ أَكْرَمَكُمْ عِنْدَ اللَّهِ أَتْقَاكُمْ إِنَّ اللَّهَ عَلِيمٌ خَبِيرٌ O mankind, we have created you male and female And we have made you into nations and tribes So that you may know one another The one who is the most noble in the sight of Allah Is the one who has the most taqwa And Allah is all -knowing and all-aware And there is a beautiful story from the story of Hajar When Ibrahim عليه السلام he left Hajar in Makkah without anything In a barren valley And she said to him something which I believe could be a principle for us as we move forward She said أَا اللَّهُ الَّذِي أَمَرَكَ بِهَٰذَا She said, was it Allah that commanded you to leave me here? قَالَ نَعَمْ قَالَتْ إِذَا لَا يُضَيِّعُنَا He said, yes She said, then he's not going to cause us to be lost And Allah سبحانه وتعالى said إِنِّي أَوْ أَنِّي لَا أُضِيعُ عَمَلَ عَامِلٍ مِّنكُمْ مِّن ذَكَرٍ أَوْ أُنثَى بَعْضُكُم مِّن بَعْضٍ I will not cause any deeds to be lost Male or female, whether you are a man or a woman I will not cause any of your deeds to be lost You are from each other You are from one another And I will not cause your deeds to be lost Whether you are male or female I think it's really important that we don't seek to gain something that someone else has been given by Allah Nor do we waste our time coveting something that Allah سبحانه وتعالى has given to someone else Allah عز و جل said وَلَا تَتَمَنَّوا مَا فَضَّلَ اللَّهُ بِهِ بَعْضَكُمْ عَلَىٰ بَعْضٍ لِلْرِّجَالِ نَصِيبٌ مِّمَّا اكْتَسَبُ وَلِلْنِّسَاءِ نَصِيبٌ مِّمَّا اكْتَسَبْنَ وَاسْأَلُوا اللَّهَ مِنْ فَضْلِهِ إِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ بِكُلِّ شَيْءٍ عَلِيمًا Do not seek what Allah has preferred some of you with over others Men will have a share of what they have earned And women will have a share of what they have earned There's a beautiful principle from the qawa'id which are qawa'id faqhiyya The qawa'id of fiqh which says that الْعِبْرَةُ لِلْغَارِبِ الشَّاعِ لَا لِلنَّادِرِ That the attention is given or consideration is given To what is the majority and what is commonplace Not what is rare and the odd exception to the rule The basic principle in rulings is that rulings apply to men and women together Because the Prophet ﷺ said إِنَّ النِّسَاءَ شَقَائِقُ الرِّجَالِ He said that women are the full sisters of men Meaning that if the Qur'an brings a ruling That ruling is for men and women Unless you have a clear reason for it to be for men only Or for women only We also want to clarify that an individual woman can be way better than an individual man That's very important because a lot of times people are Have this idea that when we're talking about men and women That we're talking about all men and all women But in reality there are evidences which are undeniable That there will be many women who are above many men in Jannah Just to give the example of Maryam, of Asiya, the wife of Firaun Of Fatima, of Aisha, of the wives of the Prophet ﷺ وَرَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُمْ لِلصَّحَابِيَاتِ There is no doubt that there will be many many women Who have precedence in the sight of Allah over many many men We're talking about rulings here Not talking about individual women and individual men And I think that ultimately we can conclude By saying that Islam is a religion of wisdom حِكْمَةٌ بَالِغَةٌ And that Allah doesn't oppress anyone وَلَا يَظْلِمُ رَبُّكَ أَحَدًا Your Lord does not oppress anybody at all I think with that we can make a good start Inshallah on the topic Okay Inshallah I think that's the first time we've actually gone within time You've still got one minute and fifty seconds left So let me stop the timer there Inshallah Okay I think that was really important And I think you laid down some really good principles That I'm sure we're going to refer back to As we continue the discussion Just to summarize some of them I won't catch all of them but just some of them You mentioned that Islam is not a religion That necessarily dictates equality Rather it commands justice And there is a difference between the two Just explain for the viewers what you mean By that kind of difference between justice and equality So equality is where two things are made to be the same They're made to be equal And justice is what the scholars define the word justice as Is what a shay female there Putting something in its proper place So to put something in its proper place May be to put something lower than something else Or to give something more than something else But that would be done in a way that is just Not in a way that necessarily means that One for one and one for the other Yeah, yeah I think the example that I often come across In the dunya for example Which nobody would deny Is the food that an adult eats Is not the same food that a child eats And it would be equal to give them the same food But it would also be very dangerous And very harmful So I don't think that's really a concept That anybody can really dispute Particularly when we apply it in matters like that The second thing that you mentioned Was that Or one of the things that you mentioned Was that both men and women When it comes to the rulings in Islam They have been It's their obligation to submit to them If it comes from Allah and his messenger Sallallahu alayhi wa sallam Whether you're a man Whether you're a woman You have no choice but to submit to it And of course that's from the root word of Islam as well Submission And the final thing you mentioned is that It's not right for any gender To want what the other gender has been given by Of course Allah and his messenger Sallallahu alayhi wa sallam And of course that doesn't apply just for genders It applies throughout the dunya Throughout the world People are given more wealth than others And it's just It's not going to be very time efficient To really just wish that you had this kind of wealth That you've been given something less than that Exactly Make use of what you have been given Rather than wishing to be somebody else Okay Let's go into some of the more specific questions And I know you mentioned And this is something that you have an opportunity To expand on the issue of inequality Because a lot of women really do feel that Men have been given this superior status Above and over them In the religion of Islam And this is something that they admit This is from Allah and his messenger Sallallahu alayhi wa sallam But they do question why And it does often It makes them feel like life is difficult for them And of course there's a couple of ayats in the Quran Ar-rijalu qawwamoona ala an-nisa And another one Wal-rijal alayhina daraja Wallahu a'zizun hakeem Both of these ayats indicate That men are superior to women That they've been given a degree of authority Over women How would you explain that for someone Who might be struggling to understand that? So there's no doubt that Allah azawajal said Ar-rijalu qawwamoona ala an-nisa bima faddalallahu Ba'dahum ala ba'd Men have a qawwama And the qawwama What it really means is It means an authority Or a responsibility A responsibility to Be in charge Something like that Over women By what Allah has given some of them over others Wa bima anfaqoo min amwalihim And what they spend out of their wealth The first thing I think is really important is When we talk about qawwama We talk about the issue of authority We talk about the man being the head of the household It is really really important to understand That authority in of itself Can be as much of a trial as it is something good Okay And for example the Prophet ﷺ He said kullukum ala kullukum ra'in Wa kullukum mas'oolun an ra'iyati Every one of you is a shepherd And every one of you will be asked about the flock So he mentioned in this the man and the woman He mentioned that the man is responsible for his family And he will be asked about it By Allah Azawajal What did you do with that family? The second thing is that the woman is also responsible It's not that the woman has been given no qawwama Or no responsibility or authority at all Actually she has been given it Over the children She has been given it And that's a really important point to bear in mind This idea that male and female children Both have a right of obedience towards their mother But that's a responsibility in the sight of Allah Azawajal It's really important also to remember That when we talk about obedience Obedience is not absolute to any human being Except for the Messenger ﷺ And that's why Allah Azawajal said يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا أَطِيعُوا اللَّهَ وَأَطِيعُوا الرَّسُولَ وَأُولِي الْأَمْرِ مِنكُمْ All you who believe, obey Allah Absolutely Obey the Messenger Absolutely And those in authority over you He didn't repeat the word obey here Meaning that obedience to them is subject to it being Obedience to Allah and His Messenger ﷺ So what that gives the woman is It gives her the right That her husband is not permitted to ask her to do something which is haram Okay He's not allowed And if he asks her She has no obligation In fact it would not be permissible for her to obey him At all So she is only obeying him In that which is obedience to Allah and to the Prophet ﷺ It's also important to note that the ruler is not necessarily better than the one who is ruled over In general So for example if we take Let's say the Imam of the Muslims Who is in charge of the Muslims He's in charge over everyone, male and female, right? We have to obey him because Allah told us to obey the one in charge Generally Whether he's in charge of the family In charge of the region In charge of the country In charge of all of the Muslims Does that mean that him being in charge Necessarily makes him better than the people he's in charge over? Better as in more pious Better in the sight of Allah Better in the sight of Allah At all There's not a single evidence to say that the ruler is better in the sight of Allah Than the one who is ruled over So that husband who has been given that Qawwama May not be better in the sight of Allah than that woman And the clearest of evidences for this Is Asiya, the wife of Firaun Firaun who is from the worst of the worst And among the leaders that will take the people into Jahannam And his wife One of the people of the Prophet ﷺ Said that she completed her Iman Her Iman was complete She completed her faith Just because Firaun had authority of the head of the household Of the husband over her Doesn't mean that he was better than her In fact, we know for a fact he wasn't So this idea of craving over authority And that authority is better I believe it's not an Islamic idea.
And the Prophet ﷺ He said to Abu Dharr actually He said to him in a hadith In the hadith narrated by Muslim He said يَا أَبَذَرُ إِنِّي أَرَاكَ ضَعِيفَ وَإِنِّي أُحِبُّ لَكَ مَا أُحِبُّ لِنَفْسِي I see you to be weak And I love for you what I love for myself So don't make yourself in charge of two people And he said I love you Abu Dharr I love for you But I can see it's not good for you It's not good for you to have that responsibility So I don't want you to take responsibility over even two people The hadith narrated by Muslim Apply that now that Allah Azawajal has chosen the man of the household To be responsible for the woman And he's given him, given that man a degree of authority over her Within what is permissible in Islam And within what is pleasing to Allah Azawajal Allah Azawajal knows us أَلَا يَعْلَمُ مَنْ خَلَقَ Doesn't the one who created know He knows us He knows what's good for us He knows what's gonna bring good for us or not The Prophet ﷺ came to Abu Dharr who's a man And he said to him Abu Dharr I love for you what I love for myself Don't be in charge of two people So shouldn't we not take as a woman, Muslim woman Should she not then accept that Allah Azawajal has chosen that for her That he knows her And the Prophet ﷺ Loved for the Muslims what he loved for himself So don't take that responsibility Again remember what we said in the beginning In terms of principles That the Sharia looks at the Al-Ghalib, Al-Sha'i It looks at that which is commonplace and normal It doesn't look at the fact that there might be Situations in which there is a woman Who would be far better to be responsible for her husband It looks at the majority of situations Add to that even That is it a requirement that the man Should use that authority at all times In reality not really The man is more than welcome to consult with his wife Ask his wife, take her opinion Prefer her opinion, give her responsibility For something within the family At the end of the day it's about organizing the society It's not necessarily about Him having complete control And even in this let's give an example That this authority doesn't extend to everything Let's look at the spending of the woman The majority of the scholars of Islam They held that the man has no right to dictate To his wife what she does with her money So it's not again even an absolute authority In everything and there are exceptions to it So I think when we look at all of these things together We see it isn't easy I mean it's not easy for a woman To necessarily fit into that And say to herself that she's going to be Respect her husband's authority And respect him as the head of the household But Allah SWT has organized our society It's obedience to Allah Not obedience to a man And that's ultimately what the argument is isn't it It's about women being subservient to men But here it's about obedience to Allah SWT Not about a man to a woman And it's about organizing the society There are many exceptions and many cases Like we mentioned for example The male child towards his mother That's an example of a man obeying a woman And the obedience there is of a very high degree The Prophet says three times Your mother, your mother, your mother Many of the scholars they took this to mean Obedience that a woman has A mother has three times the right of obedience Over the father So I think this is what we talked about It's fairness, it's justice It works in the society Rather than it being necessarily the same I think this issue of authority is going to be Something that we're going to come back to I really want to go into the example of husband and wife More specifically later on in the podcast But there's no doubt it's an underlying principle That a lot of people have an issue with What if someone said to you that The way that Allah has designed this It might not be intended to oppress women But there's no doubt that many men can And they do take advantage of this authority And therefore it results in oppressing women Why couldn't it just be equal partners You're both married together, living together Raising children together Why couldn't it just be an equal partnership So there's no doubt that there are many cases In which people oppress other people Not just men or husbands oppressing their women But there are many cases in which People generally oppress other people Because of their authority and their power I think there are a couple of things to bear in mind Number one, this oppression typically happens When people distance themselves from Islam The more the husband is in line with Islam And what Islam commands him to do The more likely it is that he's going to Treat his wife in the best possible way Isn't this particular example Exactly in line with Islam Because Islam is actually saying Men, you have a right over women Whereas if Islam said You both are equal parties We wouldn't really have this issue But here we're not talking about We're talking about You specifically mentioned oppression ولا يظلم ربك أحد The Lord doesn't oppress anyone So there's no I'm talking about a man oppressing his wife He cannot be in line with Islam If he's oppressing his wife Because there is no oppression in Islam He has to have gone outside of Islam And that's why it was said In the early days That when it comes to marrying your daughter To somebody That you should look for a person of religion Because however he feels about that woman He's going to treat her well The Prophet ﷺ said استوصوا بنساء خيرا Treat your women to the highest standard So that is what you would see from a man Who is practicing Islam properly That's my first point My second point on this topic is That even the society as a whole There are checks and balances Or there should be checks and balances Within that society So many, many times you see And there are examples I'm sure We're going to come to In terms of husband and wife relationships And things like that Where the female companions Went to the Prophet ﷺ They complained The men are doing this Tell the men to do this I've come because my husband is like this Simple example قَدْ سَمِعَ اللَّهُ قَوْلًا لَّتِي تُجَادِلُكَ فِي زَوْجِهَا وَتَشْتَكِي إِلَى اللَّهِ Allah has certainly heard The statement of the woman Who came to complain about her husband That's part of the checks and balances That she goes to the person Who is in the position of rulership Or the qadi The one who is the judge and says My husband is not treating me properly And that's supposed to be dealt with That's another point And the third thing is That many times Oppression takes place in this world Across the board In many different ways And a person is rewarded for it In the hereafter Because ultimately This is an issue of qadr, right? That there are issues of oppression Happened all over the world People are being oppressed In many different regards And ultimately Allah might raise a person Because of some oppression that they suffer Or some hardship that they go through It's not because Allah loves that But because Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala Wants to raise that person through it Having said that It's our job as Muslims To stand against all kinds of oppression Like the statement of the Prophet ﷺ Help your brother Whether he's an oppressor or oppressed He said If he's oppressed We know how to help him But how shall we help him If he is a zalim If he's an oppressor The Prophet ﷺ told him Stop him Stop him from his oppression Stop that person From doing that oppression So it's our job To actually correct the situation And there are many times in Islam Where if the rules of Islam Are not followed Then no doubt It leads to oppression And it leads to people Having their rights taken away And that's not the fault Of the religion of Islam But that's the fault Of the way people practice it Okay One thing that obviously You mentioned in your introduction As a golden principle Is that when it comes to Attaining reward in the hereafter Men and women Are equal in that And they both have An equal chance Of attaining the hereafter Which of course is the main goal At least it should be The main goal for Muslims Having said that There is a hadith That I'd like to ask you about And quiz you on Because How can you claim that If we have a clear cut hadith In Sahih al-Bukhari Where the Prophet ﷺ said Oh women Give sadaqah As I have seen That the majority Of the dwellers of hellfire Are you women Doesn't this clearly prove That actually There's not even an equal chance In the hereafter Because most women Are actually going to end up In the hellfire This is a very important hadith You mentioned Very important hadith The hadith As you mentioned The Prophet ﷺ said يَمَعْشَنَ النِّسَاءَ تَصَدَّقْنَا وَأَكْثِرْنَا الْإِسْتِغْفَارَ فَإِنِّي رَعِيْتُكُنَّ أَكْثَرَ أَهْلِ النَّارِ He said Oh women Give charity And make a lot of istighfar Seek a lot of forgiveness For I have seen That women are the majority Of the people of the fire I think the first question We have to ask here The hadith is a long hadith We'll come back to it But there are The first thing we have to ask is Is the reason that she is in the fire Because she's a woman That's not the case In fact the Prophet ﷺ Mentioned specifically the reasons Why that person is taken to the fire For example If I were to say to you That the majority Of the people of the fire Are I don't know Are from a particular country For example The fact that they're from That's not That's a factual matter As to the composition Of the people of the fire But it doesn't mean That that was the reason Being a woman Is not the reason She's from the people of the fire Otherwise that would apply To all women right It would be just that She's a woman She goes to the fire As I was saying The majority of the people of the fire Are people who had two arms It doesn't mean that Just because they had two arms They end up in the fire It's just a characteristic That they have It's just Description There's a reason for it The Prophet ﷺ Also He didn't specify That this relates to the Muslims either He didn't specify particularly But he mentioned certain things So he mentioned تكفرنا العشير You reject the good That your husband has done Now we actually have a hadith In which the Prophet ﷺ Explains this in detail He said He said perhaps one of you Would spend a long time Unmarried with her parents And then he said And she would become Really you know like A woman who struggled to get married She can't get married Then Allah gives her a husband Allah blesses her with a husband And Allah gives her wealth From that husband The husband spends on her And a child or children She just becomes angry one day I never saw any good from him ever So he said this could be a reason why A woman becomes from the people of the fire That she got all of these blessings From Allah And Allah gave her a husband After a long time she couldn't get married Allah gave her a husband Allah gave her money Allah gave her children And then she gets angry one day And she says I never saw anything good from you That's not just disrespectful to the husband Who did that good for her But it's disrespectful to Allah Azzawajal Who gave her those things I've never seen anything good Now here What's the job of the Prophet ﷺ Prophet ﷺ was sent To bring glad tidings And to warn people He warned the men About certain things For example he said He said in a hadith These two people are being punished And they're not being punished for something Which people think is major And he mentioned one of them Didn't keep themselves clean When they went to the toilet And the other one used to spread gossip Among the people Many times the Prophet ﷺ warned These people will be in the fire This person will be in the fire He's warning them And he's giving them a solution Give sadaqah Make istighfar So that you're not among these people I've seen all of these women in the fire And they're in the fire for certain reasons One of the things they're in the fire for The Prophet ﷺ mentioned in the hadith That you curse a lot That the person, you know They get angry And they just, they curse They say They bring the curse of Allah Curse of Allah upon their children Or the curse of Allah upon their husband Or the curse of Allah upon people And then it comes back upon them So the Prophet ﷺ said I've seen this is going to happen So I don't want you women To be one of those people I don't want you to be like that I want you to be different So I'm going to tell you the solution First of all, I'm going to tell you why it is So that you can try to check that from yourself And if it does happen I'm going to tell you how to get out of it With sadaqah And with istighfar And in reality There are ahadith As we mentioned Many ahadith In which the Prophet ﷺ mentioned Reasons why men Are from the people of the fire We mentioned as an example The hadith of the two people Being punished in the graves For example Do we think that most women Will go to the hell fire For example, because of riba Generally speaking You would say that riba Even though there are women Who get involved in riba But it tends to be Many times It tends to be Men that are That probably do that more And there are certain things That perhaps women do more So for example The Prophet ﷺ mentioned That whoever Guarantees for me What is between his two jaws And what's between his two legs I guarantee for him Jannah That's something that is Characteristic Or it's typical of men Right And yet there are For women So the Prophet ﷺ's job Is to warn people And to explain to people What is What the danger is to them And he's saying You women There's a danger for you The danger is Cursing too much The danger is That you Disregard Or you are Ungrateful to the blessings You've been given And when you're ungrateful To the blessings You've been given Ultimately that's ingratitude To Allah Because he's the one Who gave you those blessings So that's how I see That particular hadith And that's how I think It should be understood Okay, I think You're half way out Of the hadith But we've still got Another half to go So I think you're right I'm looking at the narration here And it does say You curse frequently And are ungrateful to your husband So that's really the reason It's not Not for the fact That they're a woman Well they are women themselves It's because of these characteristics Because of these things That they might do However It goes on to say I have not seen Anyone more deficient In intelligence And religion than you Now this is More of a blanket statement Really that the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam Is making to the women And he says I have not seen anyone More deficient In intelligence Imagine if somebody Made that statement In the 21st century That it would be PC would be All over the place And religion as well So and this goes back To the question About how are they equal In their religion How can someone Understand this That the women are Deficient in intellect And religion So there's no doubt A part of the hadith The Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam He said ما رأيت من ناقصاتي أقل و دين أغلب لذي لب منكم So let's quote it properly He said I have not seen Those who are more deficient In intellect and religion Who overcome a person Who overcome a man of What's the word They overcome a man Who doesn't have that The man who doesn't have that issue They overcome him completely Than you So the first thing is The Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam Said this to a group of women Yeah And those women They asked You know the sahabiat May Allah be pleased with them They didn't leave something Without asking about it They asked the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam قالت يا رسول الله ما نقصان الأقل والدين Or messenger of Allah What is this deficiency In intellect and religion Is it absolute Is it in everything Is it just the women are not clever Or the women just don't have any religion They're irreligious What is it Tell us Because the sahabiat They were not worried about feminism That wasn't their concern They were worried about What can I do What do I have to do now The Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said And he said it in context Let's give him the context He said How amazing it is That you see a woman Who has two deficiencies Overcome Completely overcome a man Who has none of them And you know the stories of this For example the poet who said He said I went around the house The house of Layla Kissing the walls And kissing wall after wall It's not the house That has overcome my heart That my heart has just given into But it's the love of the one Who is living in the house And this is a man Who has all of the qualities Of men And there is a woman in there Who is In her intellect and her religion And this man is going around Kissing the walls Because of how much he's lost his mind You know they called him Majnoon Layla The one who became crazy Because of Layla So this is the context In which the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said But the sahabiat They didn't leave it They didn't just take the context And say Okay leave it It's in context They said Tell us what What is it Where is there a nuqsan Remember nuqsan Means something which is not whole Okay Yeah something which is Less than complete So he mentioned The Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam He mentioned two very specific things He said أما نقصان الأقل فشهادة امرأتين تعدل شهادة الرجل He said As for the deficiency in intellect The witness of two women Is equal to the witness of one man He didn't say You women are not clever You women can't do anything You women don't know anything He just said That there is a ruling in Islam In which two women Give a testimony in court In place of one man That is less Mathematically That's less That's a nuqsan That's something which is less And he said Regarding He said فهذا نقصان الأقل He said وتمكث الليالي ما تصلي وتفطر في رمضان فهذا نقصان الدين He said She spends a number of nights A number of days يعني الليالي in Arabic Whether you say Nights and days are equal in this When you say one or the other It means the same thing She spends days without praying And she breaks her fast in Ramadan And this is deficiency in her religion So let's just take a man A man prays 5 times a day 30 days in the month A woman prays 5 times a day 23 days in the month Factual Less than that That's not blame worthy for her And actually If you look at these two things You see That neither of those two things Are in the hands of a woman at all There is nothing a woman can do To make her shahada Equal to the shahada of a man In Islam That's the ruling of Al -Aleem ul-Hakeem The one who knows everything And the most wise That Allah Azzawajal has said that She can't do it It's not her fault It's not something she's blamed for And Islam didn't even tell her to pray If she prayed She would be blame worthy So this is simply a factual statement And the Prophet ﷺ saying In context of Look at this You have a woman She only prays 23 days in the month This man prays 30 days in the month And this man is walking around Kissing the walls of the house Look at the difference Look at how amazing this is How Allah Azzawajal has created The male and the female That even though this woman If you looked at it factually One for one You see that she's not doing The same things In her religion The man is doing And her testimony Is not the same as the man But in scale He's still overcome by her He's completely overcome by her I don't think a woman Would really have an issue With the second thing You mentioned The fact that her deen Is deficient because of She's not praying certain times That's like a rukhsah That's given to her No problem However why is her testimony Not equal to that of a man Like can we not believe A woman's statement When she comes to court Okay The first thing we need to understand Is that Allah Subh 'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la As we said The one who created knows And Allah Subh 'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la Clearly told us And the Prophet ﷺ Clearly told us And it's something well known in Islam That the testimony In most cases in a court The testimony of one man If you replace it with The testimony of a woman It requires two women Now the first thing to understand Is that that's not an absolute rule Okay For example The scholars mentioned That when a woman is asked About personal matters Such as her marriage Such as How her For example her iddah How long she has Since she's been divorced How many menstrual periods She's had since she's been divorced When she gave birth Things like this That there is no requirement For two witnesses in this This A woman is asked This is her area She knows herself better And her testimony is Is equal in that It's also important to note That In things that are more important Than testimony in court Allah Azawajal Accepted the statement of one woman For example In narrating a hadith Our mother Aisha R.A Narrates a hadith Nobody in the race Narrates a hadith except her So we say I'm sorry Ummi You have to bring Another woman Who heard this hadith with you We accept it from her So this is a It's a unique situation That Allah Azawajal Decreed for a wisdom That is with him subhanahu wa ta'ala And it's our job Ultimately to Submit to it Can we understand Take out some of the wisdoms Behind it Yeah I believe you can Take out some of the wisdoms Behind it I think that This kind of situation About testimony I think If we were going to put it In a In a way In a modern way Some people talk about The issue of Emotion And emotional intelligence You know This issue of A woman seeing things From a very Emotional way And that could potentially Damage a person's testimony You know At the end of the day If you see things like that And I think that Again The sharia Deals with the majority Sharia doesn't deal With everybody In every country In every situation It looks at The whole picture And says That this is what Allah Azawajal has Decreed is best for you That the testimony Of one man Or two women As we said It's not There's no Takalluf in that There's no hardship In that for a woman Because if there's hardship In that for a woman Then it's for example In her personal matter She comes and My husband mistreated me And she says I'm sorry If you don't have Another woman to Tell me I'm not going to believe you That's not the case Her personal situation Is different And we don't apply it In what is more important Which is the narration Of the hadith We apply exactly What Allah Azawajal revealed And what Allah Commanded us And that's what Allah Commanded us And from the wisdom Of that You can see The court is an Intimidating place You've seen how These days We have the people Questioning And so on Maybe that's part Of the reason Maybe it isn't Because ultimately The ultimate reason Why we do it Is because Allah Azawajal commanded us To do that Okay Let's go into The issue of marriage And I think this is where A lot of the questions come So this is probably Going to be quite A large segment And the first question I think the Predominant question That a lot of people ask Why are men Allowed four wives But women can't Have four husbands Yeah there's no doubt That a man is allowed Four wives Allah Azawajal said فَانْكِحُوا مَا طَابَ لَكُمْ مِنَ النِّسَاءِ مَثْنَا وَثُلَاثَ وَرُبَعَ Allah Azawajal said Marry whomever you will From among the women Two or three or four And obviously if a person Is not able to be fed Gone So Allah Azawajal Gave permission for a man To marry more than one wife I have to also remember To put this into context That prior to the coming Of the religion of Islam The culture among the Arabs Was unrestricted marriage On the side of the man A man could have 10 wives 20 wives 30 wives And Islam considered that To be unjust So Allah Azawajal Limited it to four That that is the most That a man Can fairly And can be fair to Can be just to So it's an issue Not equality Because a woman can't have Four husbands But it's a matter of fairness A man can be fair To four women But he cannot In terms of sharing Equal time Equal wealth and so on But more than that He cannot be fair So Allah Azawajal Didn't give that to him Bear in mind also That Allah Azawajal Also didn't Didn't obligate Or make an obligation Upon him to take Four wives Most of the scholars Or many of the scholars Hold that this is Something that is Mubahis, permissible But it's not recommended And some of them Hold that it is Recommended For a man to have More than one wife And some said That it's not recommended But it's simply Something which is Allowed So ultimately here It's not the case That a man is required It depends on him Is he able to manage that Or not To be honest I would say In our time It's very rare That you find a brother That can actually Handle And be fair And just And can actually Properly marry More than one woman Very rare It's not impossible But just You don't see it Very often And it's not that common In our time either And Islam doesn't You know Force it upon anybody At the end of the day But there is a difference Between the male and the female In this Let's just talk about One issue Just as a simple example Let's talk about Protection of lineage Okay You have a woman Who has four husbands Ultimately That Islam One of the Overriding things That Islam came to Protect And preserve Is Al-ird Someone's honour And An-naseb People's You know People's lineage And their honour And so on So within that It's not It wouldn't be practical And it wouldn't be Acceptable really to anyone For a woman to have More than one husband It would be in terms of The issue of honour And You know For example The Prophet ﷺ told us about The punishment of the man Who is Not He doesn't have ghira Over his wife He doesn't have He doesn't He doesn't have Feel protective over her So how about You know This man When you hear now To be honest When you hear news stories Of these couples In open relationships There's no izzah in it There's no honour in it And when you see the man Who has two wives And looks after them properly And gives them equal time That's how Allah created the man Able to do that And the woman generally From a fitrah perspective Wouldn't want it usually And the reason for that is Even if you look at society In general Across the board What you see Is you see that In cultures And non-Islamic cultures Where people marry More than one I can't think of any examples Where a woman Takes more than one husband But you can think of many examples Around the world Where people Take more than one wife And that's not an evidence But that's just a point That it's from the fitrah Like it's It's a natural feeling And a natural thing For a man to take More than one wife If certain things are present With a limit of four Not to go over that And it's natural for a woman That she would only want To have one husband That's what Allah azawajal brought And it's natural And the protection of lineage I thought you were going to say That if Protection of lineage If a woman has more than one husband It doesn't protect the lineage If she gets pregnant Then it's And we're not You know it's not Someone say Well we have DNA tests right now Like really are we now Going to like Every child hospital Has to have the DNA test Attached to them At the end of the day Like we said The sharia deals with Every place Every country Every situation It doesn't deal with You know what's happening In England In 2020 Or 2021 And it deals The whole world The whole time From beginning to end So ultimately For protection of lineage And ultimately It's just not natural It's just not That's why when you hear about people You know even now Someone comes and says Oh yeah you know I'm in an open relationship Me and my wife Both have multiple partners You're kind of like A person They They can't It's not Like it's horrible Astaghfirullah What's wrong with this person Would you not feel the same way If a man came to you And said I've got a wife and a mistress A wife and a mistress Yeah On the condition that the man Won't give her her rights And he says like I'm not going to give you Anywhere to live And she agrees to it And she happily agrees to it I'm fine with that I will live with my parents I'm more than her I just want to get married Even the ulema differed over this How about somebody Who took a mistress And it's not That's not That's not from the rights Of a woman And even then If a woman was to write In her marriage contract And to say that For example I don't give my permission For my husband To take more than one wife It's a matter Of the scholars Differed over Okay So it's not a case Of oppressing women And actually Wallahi I can honestly say to you There are situations I personally know Today Right now Where there are women Who actively look To be a co-wife For example There's a woman She's a bit older maybe She has her own life It's not that she can't get married She can get married To someone who doesn't Have another wife But she has her own life She says look I don't want the hassle of this You know I can't manage this thing Of having my husband With me all the time There are countries Where there are way more Women than men You know At the end of the day Islam It's wrong for a person Just to put these Blinders on And they only see What's in front of them In their country Okay If you don't see it To be suitable in your country Right now But you believe it's from Allah But you don't believe It's suitable for you Allah didn't require you To do it Allah didn't ask you to do it If you don't believe It doesn't work for you But then don't say It doesn't work for everybody In the world Because there are Many many countries Where it works Very very well And it's needed And there are countries Where there are a huge number Of women outnumbering men There are women who And I'm talking about In societies where You know There are plenty of Opportunities for marriage To say look To be honest For me You know I don't really want To have that full time Looking after a husband All the time like that I just I would be just happy You know If I see him from time to time That's better for me There are people like that So we shouldn't Because it doesn't work For you Doesn't mean that It doesn't work for everybody Okay Okay let's move on To something that is obligatory For all women According to the majority Of the scholars Why is it That a woman has to Seek permission From her male guardian Before she is to get married Isn't that really Just giving authority To the men To do kind of whatever They want with their women No I actually think That the system Of having a chaperone Or a guardian In relation to marriage Is there to protect the woman Not to oppress her And that's because Typically if you look at Societies that didn't Have this before There was no protection For the woman And she might Fall for a guy Or just like a guy Or a guy You know Give her You know Gives her some attention And she doesn't look If he's good or not for her Or when it comes To negotiating Or discussing About things like the mahr About you know How much money She's going to receive When she gets married Or what he's going to give her Or where they're going to live She doesn't have anybody To stick up for her She's going to Sit there and negotiate With the guy's family Like that The job of the wali Is to look after The girl that is in his care Is not to oppress her And that's why We have a system To handle when the wali Oppresses a woman And that's what we call Where a wali prevents His daughter Or the woman Under his care From getting married And she's got a good proposal And he says I'm not going to help you I'm not going to get married To this person And in that case She has the right To go and complain And until today This is very common If you go to the courts Or you go to the masajid In the countries Where there aren't courts It's full of people Coming and saying This is what's happening And the imam Simply says okay Or the judge Simply says okay Bring the father to me What's your reasoning Behind refusing this proposal He says I'm refusing This proposal Because you know I don't want her To marry a religious guy Or I don't think It's good for her To marry a religious guy Straight away He takes that right away From the parent And gives it to somebody else Or he takes care of it himself The whole purpose of this Is to protect To protect the woman That's why the prophet S.A.W. said إِنِّي أُحَرِّجْ عَلَيْكُمْ حَقَّ الضَّعِيفِينَ Or as S.A.W. said He said I'm going to burden you men With two things حرج You know The religion Is not a religion of haraj Right Two people in society You have to take care of them The orphan And the woman You have to take care of them So the job of the wali Is to find A good person for her To make sure that Her decision that she's made On who she wants to marry Is being made With her eyes open And also to make sure That the marriage itself She's getting her rights And she has someone To stick up for her rights And negotiate for things On her behalf And make sure that She's getting all of her rights And to be honest I think if you just look At societies Where they don't have that And people just get Into relationships And go out To be honest You can see the harms That has upon them It's so easy People You know Take people They take advantage of people You know They sweet talk them They you know Give them a bit of attention And then suddenly You realize this person Hold on a second You know This person Is already in another Relationship with somebody Or this person is Doing something They shouldn't be doing Or they're not willing To give you your rights Or they're not good for you Might have to have Something there That makes that guy Scared You know That future husband Makes him Actually fear Allah And sometimes People fear Allah Because of their Taqwa And sometimes They fear Allah Because of the You know The Sultan The authority That is over them So that's important To have somebody there To give that protection And that cover for her It's not there to oppress her And that's why She has the right to complain If it's not done properly Whatever sister says I mean I don't need Looking after You know I've been living In the 21st century I'm quite capable Of marrying myself To someone else Why has Islam Obligated someone To look after me All the time Again I would say That Islam is a religion Of submission And our job is to submit To Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala And if that's what Allah azawajal has legislated There are many times We think We know something Is good for us And it's not good for us وَعَسَىٰ أَن تَكْرَأُوا شَيْئًا هُوَ خَيْرٌ لَكُمْ Perhaps you hate something That's good for you Perhaps you love something That's bad for you وَاللَّهُ يَعْلَمُ وَأَنتُمْ لَا تَعْلَمُونَ And yes There is a movement In this society That's telling women That you don't need this You don't need this But to be honest When you just open your eyes And look around you At other people You actually see How much it's needed And you actually realize That to be honest Yeah it is needed And yes It's also needed For the men to take That job seriously Because there are situations Where the welly Doesn't take the job seriously The welly is just You know Either doesn't care A lot of times In case of Muslim Reverts Revert sisters The welly Doesn't care Just bring anybody Just you know I'll say I'll do the Sign the necessary form Or whatever But actually Those marriages You know subhanAllah There are difficulties In that for many people Not for everyone But for a lot of people There are difficulties And again We also say And remind people That it's not about Individual people.
There are individual women Who'd be perfectly capable of And fine if they did this By themselves But it's not about individuals It's about what's right For the whole Muslim community And it's about Showing your submission To Allah in Islam This is what Allah Has decided for me I believe That there is a wisdom Whether I can see That wisdom Or whether I can't See that wisdom For me I look at it And to me it seems Very clear But maybe that's through Marriage counseling And dealing with divorces And things like that That it seems to me To be very very clear But if it's not clear to you You only have to establish Is it Allah Who commanded us to do this If yes Allah will not let us Cause us to be lost And both sides Have to come with their part Obviously it's for the women To submit But also for the men It goes back to their qawamah Not being something praiseworthy Or something good It's actually a huge responsibility That they're going to be Questioned about On the day of judgment It's a huge responsibility Allah said He took from you A heavy oath It's a heavy It's a weighty responsibility Marriage to a woman Is a very very Heavy responsibility And serious thing In the sight of Allah And the one who doesn't Treat that woman well They will have to answer To Allah Azawajal Yawmul Qiyamah for that Okay the next question I have is Again it seems like A bit of Unequality here Where men can marry Jewish or Christian women But it can't happen The other way around Women can't marry Jewish or Christian men Why is that? So Allah Azawajal told us In Surah Al -Ma'idah وَالْمُحْصَنَاتُ مِنَ الَّذِينَ أُوتُوا الْكِتَابَ مِنْ قَبْلِكُمْ That you are permitted to marry The chaste women Who were given the book before you In reality The fact that you're permitted To marry them Doesn't mean necessarily That it is It is a good thing To marry them But it's an option That obviously isn't available It's an option that's available And I say that Because I don't want also For men watching this To think that this is necessarily The best thing for them to do Or this is necessarily A good thing for them to do Or even consider this to be an option Because the society That we're living in today Has a lot of It brings about a lot of difficulties When people Get into these kind of relationships Or it can do So the first thing is It's very simple We've already established The issue of qawamah Of the man as the head of the household If that's the case Then how could we have A Jewish or a Christian man As a head of a household Over a Muslim woman And Allah Azawajal Has not placed For the disbeliever Over the believer Any authority Allah Azawajal Has never given a situation Where a disbeliever Can have authority Over a believer And that would be something That's a blessing in Islam And otherwise The woman doesn't want to become You know Asiya The wife of Firaun At the end of the day She doesn't want to end up Having a husband Who is a disbeliever Who is an evildoer And so on But at the end of the day This is why We have these rules Because the man As the head of the household At the end of the day This Jewish or Christian woman Is relatively close to Islam We know that both Judaism And Christianity Share some You know Certain amount of commonality Within the religion of Islam Even though there are Many severe differences But they are closer Than other religions And so it is possible For a Muslim man As the head of the household To have a Jewish or Christian wife And to still Manage the household In an Islamic way And that's the reason Why I actually Discourage it in our time Because I believe that The right of the man To be the head of the household Has been broadly Taken away from him In legal terms In most countries Particularly in western countries And so he isn't able To enforce his authority Upon his Jewish or Christian wife And so she can turn around And say Well I want my kids To be brought up as Christians Or I want my kids To be brought up as Jews Or I want my kids To go to church And you're not going To do anything about it And he doesn't have Any recourse to change that Or in some cases The court systems Will even support that So that's why Things are a little bit Different today And they need to be You know That needs to be Thought of very carefully But it does work For some people Like a revert man Who is married to a Jewish or Christian woman When they revert It could be good for them To stay married to them That last bit That you said That obviously You wouldn't recommend it And you'd actually Discourage it for today How do you reconcile that With your earlier statement That Islam is for all times And all places And now Allah knew That this time and place Would happen And yet It's a time and place Where this particular Ruling is perhaps discouraged Yeah I would say It doesn't change the ruling So we don't say That it's haram And we don't say That it is Something which is Would be invalid But we simply say That it seems That looking at The framework of Islam And the principles of Islam That there are Some dangers in this And it should be given thought Before entering into it And this is something Which is built in It's a flexibility Which is built into The rulings of Islam You don't have a flexibility To stop praying Five times a day Because it doesn't suit you today You know But you do have a flexibility As to whether you marry A Jewish or Christian woman Because Allah didn't Make it an obligation upon you He made it permissible So that means It's something Things are permissible Generally things are obligatory Which we need all the time Except in cases of extreme necessity And things are recommended Because they're generally good for you But if you miss them out From time to time They don't hurt you And things are permissible Because they're things You might want to do And might not want to do So this is something permissible Which people might want to do Or might not want to do And I would suggest That someone would have to Think about it carefully In a time where Or in a country Where the court system Is not going to allow That man to act As the head of the household And that woman does have The legal right To bring her children up As Jews or Christians For example A person should give That some thought.
But I don't say That it's haram Because the haram And the hala doesn't change It doesn't become haram Because we said so And Allah made it permissible But it's just something That people should give Consideration to And it's permissible Like the issue of two wives We said let's be fair Yeah that's fair That I also think The issue of two wives Is something which is permissible And yes it works For some people But it also doesn't Work for everybody So a person should Think about it carefully Before they start on that Because it's not You know it's not beneficial For someone just to Marry someone else And then end up getting Divorced to the first one And it just goes like that You know a constant cycle Of marriages and divorces Doesn't benefit anybody Okay we spoke about The issue of obedience And kind of like You know obedience to Allah Coming first and foremost From both parties However specifically When we look at the Husband wife relationship It does seem like There's a tone That the wife has to Obey the husband And you kind of mentioned before That the wife has to Obey the husband As long as the husband Isn't commanding her With anything that goes Against the commands of Allah Having said that There's like really strong Wording from some Ahadith From the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam For example If I were to command Anybody to prostrate To anyone other than Allah I would have commanded Women to prostrate To their husbands Again We're going through a process Where a woman is kind of Growing up And she's under the care Of her guardian The male guardian Marries her off to the husband And now suddenly She's in a relationship Where she has to obey To the letter Everything her husband says Obviously with the exception That if he commands her With something that is Against the religion I think you used the word Married her off I just feel like that was You know what We have to be clear That a woman is not allowed To be forced into marriage In Islam Yeah He facilitated her marriage But I mean marriage It's not wrong But I just think that People need to understand That we're not talking about We're not talking about Her being forced into marriage here Forced marriages Are not allowed in Islam Forced marriages are not allowed And if a woman is forced into marriage She's given a choice And this is from the wisdom of Islam By the way That she's given a choice And she's not forced Even a second time to leave Because that's not fair on her now She's in a marriage There was a woman She came to the Prophet And she said that I was forced My father forced me into marriage And the Prophet said I will give you a choice If you wish I will dissolve your marriage And if you wish You may remain with your husband She said no I want to remain with him I'm actually happy with him But I wanted the people to know That they're not allowed To force a woman into marriage And she wanted what we call What we would call now A test case You know I just wanted a judgment That you're not allowed to do it But otherwise I'm happy with who My father chose for me So as for the hadith Of the Prophet ﷺ And it has different wordings But the wording I have in front of me لَوْ كُنتُ أَمِرًا أَحَدًا أَن يَسْجُدَ لِأَحَدٍ لَأَمَرْتُ الْمَرْأةَ أَن تَسْجُدَ لِزَوْجِهَا If I were to command anyone To prostrate to anyone I would command a woman To prostrate to her husband In some of the riwayat of the hadith It's mentioned the reason for this And that is Because of everything That the husband is required To do for his wife So I actually see that To be honest To be a very positive thing That a woman has a husband That is commanded to do so much for her He has to provide a house for her He has to provide He has to spend upon her He has to clothe her To the same extent that he clothes himself Or the same You know to the same standard That he clothes himself And all the things he has to take care of That means that her Her Her What's the word Her That the gratitude That she should have for that Is a great gratitude For all the things that he does And that's a similar thing That is said about the parents For example It's even emphasized Even greater For the parents What they did for you When you were small How they looked after you Islam is a religion Of showing gratitude to Allah First of all And then showing gratitude To people who do good for you And I think It's an amazing thing You can take to a very positive thing To look at What a woman has to do In terms of the fact That so many things Have been taken off her That have been put onto a man In terms of burdens And responsibilities For example The hadith of the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam إِذَا صَلَّتَ الْمَرْءَةُ خَمْسَهَا وَصَامَتْ شَهَرَهَا وَطَاعَتْ بَعْلَهَا That if a woman She prays five daily prayers And she fasts Ramadan And she obeys her husband With the conditions we mentioned In the sense of In that which is permissible For Allah Azawajal That she will enter Jannah It will be said to her Enter Jannah From whichever of the eight gates That you wish Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala Has put certain things Upon the man That are difficult But he's put them upon the man Because he sees that Generally men Generally men Are suited for that responsibility And he's lifted it from the women Because generally They're not suited for it So in that sense There is an imbalance In the sense that A man is required to do A lot for his wife Really has to do a lot And he's told it وَأَخَذْنَا مِنْكُمْ مِثَاقًا غَلِيظًا We took from you A very heavy burden A heavy oath It's a big responsibility وَاسْتَوْصُوا بِالنِّسَاءِ خَيْرًا Make sure you treat your women well And so on You see all of that And it does deserve gratitude And then you also hear From the other side The ingratitude That will lead to the people Being from the people of the hellfire Which is the ingratitude When they say مَا رَعَيْتُ مِنْكَ خَيْرًا قَطْ I've never seen anything good from you So this is just the reverse side of that hadith And it doesn't mean that A woman should prostrate to her husband Because the Prophet ﷺ didn't command that It simply means that If I were to tell anyone To bow to anyone Out of what someone has done for them I would have told a woman To bow to her husband And that's showing that The great status of What the husband is required to do For his wife And I think that's not necessarily A negative thing I think if anything A woman should be looking To take advantage of The things that she has been given That haven't been given to men Like for example The fact that she only has to Pray her five daily prayers And fast Ramadan And obey her husband And generally stick within The limits of Islam And she said Enter any of the eight doors of Jannah you wish As for the man There's a door for certain things A door for another thing He has to bring all of those Eight huge actions of Islam So ultimately She should take advantage of that That actually doesn't mean That she's being given Necessarily something which is unfair She's being given something that suits her And the man's being given something That suits him And now both of them Should be taking advantage of that thing The man should be saying You know what it is? If my Jannah is in looking after my wife And taking care of her And spending on her And working and doing all those things Then that's what I should be seeking The reward of Allah for And if that woman says Well if my Jannah is in Now being grateful to my husband for that Like there is mentioned in the hadith The Prophet ﷺ said to one of the women To look at how you are with your husband فَإِنَّهُ جَنَّتُكَ أَوْ نَارُكَ Or as the Prophet ﷺ said فَهِيْزْ يَوْ جَنَّةً وَهِيْزْ يَوْ نَارُ He's either your paradise or your hellfire Then she should be looking at Taking advantage of that To get near to Allah So it's not about one wanting to have What the other one had But it's about each one saying Okay this is what Allah has given me to do Now let me take advantage of it And what should the woman's intention be When she's obeying her husband? Should it be to please the husband Or to please Allah or to both?
No ultimately if her intention is Only to please her husband Then the only thing she gets out of that Is the pleasure of her husband Okay But if her intention is to please Allah Then she gets from that Inshallah The pleasure of Allah And the pleasure of her husband Because ultimately as Muslims We are required to submit We're not required You know subhanAllah So many things happen to you And you think You know this situation like this Like you know Maybe you would wish Something would be different I would wish I could have done this instead I would wish I could have done that instead But in Islam you're told to Submit to what it is That Allah Azawajal has given you Don't seek What some of you have been given Over others لِلْرِجَالِ نَصِيبُ مِمَّا اكْتَسَبُ Men have a chance to They've been given opportunity here Allah has given you men A bunch of things And this is your opportunity To earn reward وَلِلْنِسَاءِ نَصِيبُ مِمَّا اكْتَسَبُ And women have been given A bunch of opportunities To earn Allah's reward وَسَأَلُوا اللَّهَ مِنْ فَضْلِهِ And ask Allah from His From His bounty Okay let's go on to another topic Within the broader topic of marriage And that is marital intimacy I have a hadith here that says If a husband calls his wife to his bed i.e. for sexual relations And she refuses and causes him To sleep in anger The angels will curse her till morning Now a lot of people see Islam as kind of Making marital rape permissible It's almost like there's no such thing As marital rape A husband can have intimate relations With his wife whenever he wants And the wife has no choice but to obey Do you see why some people Might find that misogynistic? No Okay I actually see that hadith is an evidence Why marital rape could never be allowed Because she is under threat of punishment From Allah For not complying with her husband's advances Or not responding to her husband's advances But the Prophet ﷺ didn't say to the men That if the wife says no then force her So to be honest And the second thing is Allah Azzawajal said وَلَهُنَّ مِثْرُ الَّذِى عَلَيْهِنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ That men have That she has what men have over her As men have rights over their wife Women have rights over their husbands So why wasn't it mentioned in the hadith? So Shaykh Usama Taymiyyah Was one of the people who mentioned That this is from the rights of the wife As well as the husband But it is more emphasized In the right of the husband Because of the nature of men And because of the danger to him In terms of his religion And practicing his religion properly That men are typically Generally speaking in this regard More impulsive More likely that if They don't satisfy their desire In a way that's permissible That they might start to think about doing so In a way that's impermissible Which brings harm upon that woman By the way And ultimately I also think That before all of this Go back and say On that topic also There are hadith About the man taking care of his wife In terms of intimacy And not rushing her And so on and so forth That's a right of the wife as well But obviously we're not talking about that Because feminism doesn't look at The rights that women have It's a one side discussion But if we go back in the beginning First of all This whole idea of individual consent In each individual instance Is not a part of Islam in reality In Islam marriage provides A general consent to intimacy When you marry someone There is an understanding That the couple will be intimate with one another That's the right of the wife It's the right of the husband The wife can go to the qadi and say My husband is not taking care of my rights In terms of intimacy And the qadi can say to the husband He can bring him and he can say to him This is something you must do Otherwise the marriage could be broken apart There could be penalties upon you And more than that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala Will become angry with you Because you're not fulfilling her rights But the nature of men Is that you have to emphasize this That if a man comes to his wife And he has a particular need in that sense In reality that man Is very easy for him to fall into haram So the woman is told Look take care of your husband in this regard Because ultimately For example The prophet said that if a man sees A woman that he's impressed with Or amazed with Then he has to go back to his wife For she has what the other one has In other words men are like that This is a flaw within men If he is satisfied one way or the other That's enough for him So ultimately he goes back to his wife And she knows that when he Requests that from her She has to answer that request And comply to it And that's from the general understanding of marriage He doesn't have the right to force her And we know that from the same hadith that you quoted Because the angels are angry with her Or the angels curse her until the morning Which means that he has no right to force her And in that case This is part of the general understanding of marriage Because generally you know these criticisms come from People who in the first place Don't understand the institution of marriage Marriage is a general consent When the woman gives her consent And she does give her consent Because we said there's no forced marriage in Islam She consents to marriage She consents that I am going to be available For intimacy for my husband Whenever Allah has made it permissible As not when Allah has made it haram And the husband agrees وَلَهُنَّ مِثْلُ الَّذِي عَلَيْهِنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ The husband agrees that she has the same right From me but the right is more strongly emphasized Because of the danger to the man And what that will bring back upon the woman as well Because it will bring back upon her She's not going to be happy If her husband has got a wondering eye Looking at every woman that goes past So she needs to take care of her husband But her husband also needs to take care of his wife As there are many as I said ahadith In that regard in terms of The man taking care of his wife In Shaykh Al-Islam Al -Taymiyyah He mentioned in this That this is from the strongest of the rights of the wife That she has over her husband Because one of the major purposes in Islamic legislation Is to preserve honor and preserve reputation In other words preserve chastity And so on and so forth So ultimately that's important for the wife It's important for the husband But typically men in that regard Have a very limited amount of sabr In that regard A limited amount of patience As opposed to women who typically Don't have that kind of same Impulsive sort of behavior in that way You mentioned the issue of the qadi A few times now throughout this podcast Don't you feel like that's another example Of a woman always having to submit to a man It might not be the father It might not be the husband But ultimately when she has a complaint About either of these two parties Guess who she has to go to It's another man It's not a female imam Because we're not allowed that It's not a female judge Because we're not allowed that How is that fair on a woman? She's always underneath a man So I think there's a couple of things here I think first of all When it comes to seeking advice Or when it comes to Complaining about her situation She's free to complain Or seek advice from anyone she wants Male or female But in terms of the qadi There is no doubt The Prophet ﷺ mentioned لَن يُفْلِحَ قَوْمٌ وَلُّ أَمْرَهٌ مِّمْرَأَةٌ That a people will not be successful Their affairs are governed by a woman The Prophet ﷺ said that That's an authentic hadith That's what he said ﷺ At the end of the day That's a reality From what Allah ﷻ revealed to him Now the qadi It makes perfect sense If we just said That the testimony of two women Is required in place of the testimony of one man And now you're going to make a qadi a woman What are we going to do? Bring two female qadis To judge on a matter Reality is If a woman then In many societies Is a female judge Is she going to have ten fees? Because the most important thing a judge needs to have Is the ability to carry it out Would they not understand women better?
So when women come to them with problems A female judge would understand Let her go to her mother for advice Let her go to her sister for advice But the mother is not the one making the ruling No, Allah is the one making the ruling But no, the judge is Hold on, hold on Let's stop here Allah is the one making the ruling The ruling is from Allah The judge doesn't have the right Whoever doesn't rule by what Allah has revealed It is they who are the disbelievers So let's just say there's a woman Who wants to get married Her father is not permitting that They go to a judge Allah has not revealed the exact ruling For this particular situation Because obviously every situation is different Allah revealed the ruling in this situation He revealed principles By which the judge can make rulings No, Allah revealed the ruling Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala revealed That it's not permissible For you to prevent Your women who are under your care From getting married That's a ruling What if she wants to get married To someone who the father believes That it's someone harmful for her But she doesn't So there's a situation now Where you've got two people Who are genuinely Like the woman believes it's right For her and the man Believes it's not And they have to go to a qadi Talk it out Hear both sides But that qadi is a man So he's going to hear both sides He's going to hear both sides But not actually empathise What's he going to rule by? He's going to rule Well, he's a human being He's going to rule by What Allah has revealed, right? Well, he's a human being as well So he's going to try But it could be emotions involved Naturally, he's going to be Empathised more with the man Because he's a man himself But if a woman was involved There would be no emotions, huh? If a woman was involved At least if there was a woman Involved in any of these positions She has the opportunity To be heard by someone Who can understand her better Is what many people might say I still, I don't I don't think I think there are too many issues with it I don't see how that can match With what we've just spoken about About the testimony of the woman I don't see how also It can match with When we talk about The issue of tanfeed The issue of That woman How is she going to Impose her authority upon that man It's very difficult I've been in situations Where I've been asked to judge And I can tell you one thing Whenever someone comes to me And says we want a judgement I will say, look Naseeha, I can give you But I can't give you a judgement Because I don't have the ability To make tanfeed I don't have the ability To carry out That my word will be taken And what I tell you You are now going to be obliged And you're going to be under threat If I don't If you don't carry out what I say So I personally see that This is a matter That Allah Azawajal has given To men Like prophethood And Allah Azawajal said Allah knows better where to put prophethood I mean you and me could sit It's not a gender thing You and me could sit here and say Why did Allah not make us prophets Because Allah knows better Where that belongs to And Allah Azawajal gave certain things In authority If a man is in charge of a household And then you want on top of that To be a female judge To be in charge of him It doesn't make sense It doesn't match with It's not consistent with The rest of the rules of Islam And there is no issue With her going to a female for advice The women from the sahaba They used to go to the mothers of the believers They used to ask them for advice They used to ask them for rulings For a hadith they had heard From the prophet salallahu alaihi wasalam But ultimately Allah Azawajal has placed The issue of authority And leadership And so on In the hands of men And that's for Allah to place That's not a man who has placed it In the hands of a man Allah Azawajal has placed it Now that doesn't mean That there are no women On the face of the earth Who would ever be suitable for that Because we said the sharia rules For the general situation And what fits everything Not what fits rarities And unique situations So I see going to a woman to ask advice Going to a woman to ask for a hadith Going to a woman to ask for Information about what I can do Or what I should do Or where I should go to get my rights This is all things that were done In the time of the sahaba And those who came after them But ultimately the judge Is going to be the one To make the decision And above the judge There is going to be ultimately Eventually the ruler Who is in charge of the Muslims Who is going to also Have oversight over that issue And ultimately finally Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala Is going to defend the rights Of the people who are oppressed And they're going to Ultimately somebody Might be in a situation where And a man could be in that situation Where the only thing They have left is to Complain to Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala Because their rights Were not recognized But in general Generally speaking The Islamic system does provide That protection for that woman And she's not going to that qadi To ask for that qadi's opinion Or his idea She's going to ask What did Allah Azzawajal Reveal about this Al-Hukam bima anzal Allah By what Allah Azzawajal revealed I want to pick up on something That you mentioned Which was the hadith that A nation that is led by a woman Would never succeed You're making it seem like In Islam A woman can never have authority Over any men And that just seems so unfair What about the situation As we mentioned earlier With regard to a man and his mother A man has to obey his mother Right? And so that waliul amr Who is in charge of the Muslims Ultimately has He has to obey his mother And we mentioned the hadith When the Prophet said Ummak Three times Your mother, your mother, your mother And the ulama Generally speaking Many of them held the opinion That this hadith refers to obedience Not just to love That this refers to That one of the The hadith talks about Hussun sohbati The excellence of my companionship But many of them said That entails taa It entails obedience.
So I personally don't think It's the case That there's never a case But generally Qawwama Has been given to men We established this right At the beginning of the podcast That authority Generally speaking Has been given Has been given to men But there is a balance in that There are cases And you know that Generally speaking In terms of the obedience Of a son or a daughter To their mother That's just one example But the idea that men Have been given A certain amount of responsibility Over women throughout the society That's consistent It wouldn't be And I would talk about this It's important because Inconsistencies are a sign Of something that didn't come from Allah Consistency is a sign That something came from Allah azawajal So you have consistency in that And we said authority Isn't necessarily a good thing Like in the hadith of Abu Dharr That we mentioned And Allah knows best Going back to marriage then We are now going through The marriage process We have a situation where Our wife is actually Disobedient to the husband What can the husband do? I have an ayah here And the key part of the ayah That I want is وَضَلُّ رِبُوهُنَّ Beats them Islam allows women beating Wife beating Is that the case? I think that the choice Of translation there Is a translation that is intended To convey Whether deliberately or accidentally Because I know that's how Often how the ayah is translated And beat them وَضَلُّ رِبُوهُنَّ Actually the ayah starts with وَعْفَعِبُوهُنَّ Admonish them وَهْجُرُوهُنَّ فِي الْمَضَاجِعِ And abandon them in the bed وَضْرِبُوهُنَّ And hit them Now the first thing is This word ضرب It has a wide usage In the Arabic language Now I'm not getting away From the fact that it says hit It says hit I'm not dodging that at all It says hit them It doesn't say Hold their hand But this word ضرب Has a wide range In the Arabic language From the usage of it In the Arabic language Is for example in tayammum In the hadith of tayammum We're told to strike the ground With the word ضرب It's tayammum That's it This is ضرب here One finger And also ضرب is You know beating That the Prophet ﷺ Criticized the man who beats And rebuked the man who beats his wife Like a person beats their horse So how do we know Which one it means in this ayah So this is very important now There are two things that teach us That we can understand what this means The first thing is And the more important one Is the sunnah But before we go to the sunnah I just want to talk about A general Islamic principle وَلَا يَضْرِمُ رَبُّكَ أَحَدَهَا Your Lord doesn't oppress anyone It is not conceivable That the hitting mentioned in here Could be severe It could be beating It's not possible Because it wouldn't match Any of the rules of Islam وَمَا أَرْسَلْنَاكَ إِلَّا رَحْمَةً لِلْعَالَمِينَ We sent you as a mercy to mankind The Prophet ﷺ never hit anyone He never hit a slave He never hit his wives He never hit even a riding beast صلى الله عليه وسلم He never hit anyone So this ayah It actually has a story to it And this story And that issue is mentioned several times But it has a story And in this story Is that the Prophet ﷺ said لا تضربوا إماء الله Do not hit the female servants of Allah at all Okay This is what was revealed in the first instance You're not permitted to hit any woman ever Okay In any way Including one finger, two fingers Slap with the hand You're not allowed to hit them at all It's not allowed فجاء عمر إلى رسول الله ﷺ فقال عمر he came to the Prophet ﷺ And he complained He said دائرنا النساء على أزواجه I mean He said that When you have said this now These women are going beyond They're like Transgressing against their husbands They're doing anything they want Because there's no consequence to it فرخص في ضربهم So the Prophet ﷺ allowed For a man to hit his wife I haven't established what kind of hitting that is But he allowed for a man to hit his wife فأطاف بآل رسول الله ﷺ نساء كثير يشكون أزواجهن Now this is amazing A number of women A lot of women They came after this And they went to the wives of the Prophet ﷺ Your judge issue you had before They went to the family of the Prophet ﷺ And they complained Our husbands are hitting us now Our husbands are hitting us now فقال النبي ﷺ لقد طاف بآل محمد ﷺ نساء كثير يشكون أزواجهن ليس أولئك بخياركم He said Many people have come to the family of Muhammad Many women Have come to the family of Muhammad ﷺ To complain about their husbands Who are hitting them He said These people who are hitting their wives They are not the good people among them They are not the best people among them So now we have another hadith In which the Prophet ﷺ He said فَإِن فَعَنَّ ذَلِكَ فَضْرِبُوهُنَّ ضَرْبًا غَيْرًا مُبَرِّحًا He said If they do this Then you may hit them with a hitting That leaves no mark المبرح Is the one that leaves redness Or it leaves a mark So this hitting This is a big mountain being made out of a moor hill To be honest with you Because the hitting that is mentioned Is so minor That it wouldn't even be considered To be of any significance Other than a gesture to show This husband who is so good to his wife And so kind For him to raise two fingers Some of the ulema They mentioned the siwak For him to take the siwak Or to take a finger And tap her with the finger But she would be so distraught by this That this such kind husband And good husband to her Has resorted to this level That he is willing to take his two fingers And hit me like this Without leaving a mark This is just It's making something into something huge After that the Prophet ﷺ said The people who do this Are not the best of you لَيْسَ أُولَٰئِكَ بِخِيارِكُمْ They're not the good people among you The best people among you The Prophet ﷺ never did it Not even one finger So here we see that what happened was There was two Two strong examples both ways There was a time when They were not allowed to do anything And the women started to transgress Against their husbands Then there was a time When they were hitting their husband When they were hitting The husband was hitting his wife And the Prophet ﷺ Forbade them from doing that Because it was They were doing too much And they settled in the middle What is the middle? فَعِذُوهُنَّ First of all admonish them Allah didn't say فَعِذُوهُنَّ شَهَرًا Admonish them a month فَعِذُوهُنَّ أُسْبُوعًا A week فَعِذُوهُنَّ And keep on telling them Until you think that telling them Makes no difference وَهْجُرُوهُنَّ فِي الْمَضَاجِيَةِ And keep away from them in the bed Some of the ulema They mentioned Turn your back on them Don't put out your hand Just be separate from them Sleep on the floor Sleep on the sofa وَضْرِبُوهُنَّ And if all of that hasn't worked You are permitted to hit them In such a way That it doesn't leave any mark That's I mean Red mark We're not talking about Something significant We're talking about a gesture That shows The displeasure of the man In what's happened And it shows that he feels He's got no resort left Except that And it also shows Where the marriage is going as well Because it shows that If it's got to that point What comes after? After that is فَبَعْثُ حَكَمًا مِّنْ أَهْلِهِ وَحَكَمًا مِّنْ أَهْلِهَا You bring a negotiator From her side And one from his side And you have to make peace Otherwise they divorce So it shows that the matter Has gone to such a level Where the husband now feels He's got nothing left Except that And it's so minor In terms of What is permitted For the husband to do That really there's There really just isn't Significant enough For it to cause a woman Any physical harm It's more about It's more of an emotional gesture To read Because if that person Was treating her so well And being so kind to her Then for him to do that She stops and thinks Wow this is Things have really got to the stage Where we're in a You know We need to sort things out Many people will believe That violence should never Ever ever be an option In a marriage But you're saying This doesn't even fall Into the category of violence Yeah I don't I honestly don't think It falls into the category Of violence I think that violence Should not be used Towards women It should not be used Towards children I think that's the position Of Islam And I think the word violence And the word beating These are words that We're taught When we study English The English language They have a particular Emotional connotation They are said to provoke A certain You know reaction You know savagely Beats You know these words Are there to make A certain emotion within you But what Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala Permitted is A hitting which doesn't Leave any mark It doesn't cause Any severe pain Or any lasting problem For a person This is a gesture And it's the same That you do with your children At the end of the day It's the same thing You do with your children You know It's not something Where you're not Intending Who wants to hurt Their kids Who wants to hurt Their wife The Prophet s.a.w. Said How can one of you This is a profound hadith He said How can one of you Hit his wife Like he hits a horse And then he sleeps with her At the end of the day And how can How can a person do that I mean how can anyone Of any intellect Of any respect Beat his wife Like he would beat his horse Hit his wife Like he would hit his horse And then he wants to be intimate With her at the end of the day These are not the people Who are from the best of views Not what the Prophet s.a.w. Did not Even one finger But He allowed it As a Last resort A rukhsa is like You know Okay just As a last resort SubhanAllah Perhaps this would save Somebody's marriage At the end of the day It doesn't cause her any harm It's like To be honest I see that If you look at Your kids Being able to Discipline your kids In that way That doesn't cause them Any physical pain But being able to You know Tap them on the wrist Or whatever Is what actually Sometimes SubhanAllah Saves your kids From going In all sorts of directions I personally don't think That has to be made Into such a big thing But it's made Into a big thing By using Emotive language Beating And all this kind of stuff And violence And domestic violence And also by the culture Of some people Because some Muslims Do this And in their culture They hit their wife You know Like you hit a horse You know They hit their wife Like that And then this is Associated with Islam When it has nothing To do with Islam Some non-Muslims Might be watching this And wondering Why did Allah Even leave it open With the usage of that word To give it the possibility For people Like you say In their culture To use and abuse Islam in that way I don't think it did I think first of all The hadith of the prophet Clearly explains the limit But more than that Even just the general Concept of Islam We said Islam came as a mercy To people There is nobody Who can conceive That this word Means to beat And Arabic Is very particular In language There are words Which mean to beat severely There are words like that And that's not the word That is used here So I personally Think that First of all Islam is known For its mercy And softness So nobody Can realistically Take this ayah And think Oh you know This is The Suddenly the opposite And then the prophet So I said At the end of the day The ayah Have to be understood Like the prophet The prophet As for why this was revealed The prophet Himself said Why it was revealed Because when the prophet Stopped it from happening It caused problems In people's marriages And it became To the point that You know people Were kind of using it Against their husbands And saying Oh you can't You know you can't Do anything to me You're not even Going to do anything to me And the husbands Came to complain And said look now You said this to Before we never used To hit our wives But the fact that That was there Things were okay Now it became Out of control So the prophet Allowed it But he didn't allow it To go to that extent Where the women Came and they complained Who did they complain to Complain to the wives Of the prophet I had the feeling There's a lot of lessons in that And there's a balance in that And it's just like I said I really believe That when it comes to For example children Just to give an example People can relate to That if There isn't an ability To discipline your kids That at the end of the day It leads to A lot of problems later on But that discipline Can never be It can never ever Reach the level of violence It can never reach The level of harm Because in Islam We have a principle There is not allowed To be any kind of harm Reciprocal harm in Islam Okay you mentioned Actually in your answer there That if it gets to this stage Of discipline And it's still not working What's next? We come to the process of divorce And that's another question That I have for you actually Why is it so much easier For a man to divorce A woman in Islam Rather than the other way around That if a wife wants To divorce her husband She has to go through A huge process Court proceedings Whereas a man wants To divorce his wife Just says talaq Three times Khalas It's done There are so many things Wrong with that How are we going to Have to go back And break this question Down bit by bit I think first of all A man It is not easy for a man To divorce his wife That's the first thing That's actually A talaq Which is talaq sunni A talaq according to the sunnah Is not easy at all What do you mean by that? So there are There is a talaq Which is according to the sunnah And there is a talaq Which is talaq bid'i Which is an innovated divorce The divorce according to the sunnah Has two primary conditions The first thing is that The lady She's not menstruating at the time And that's just a mercy to her Because for example At that time they're not intimate At that time perhaps emotionally She's up and down She has bad days And it's not fair For her husband to Take what's happening at that time And then maybe Just get upset with her And divorce her He's not allowed to divorce her At that time And the scholars differ Does the divorce happen or not And many of them said The correct opinion Is that it doesn't happen And if he divorces her At that time The talaq is not Even counted That's the first thing The second thing is That it should be in a period Where they haven't been intimate So for example An average couple Let's just say That if there is still Intimacy in the marriage That man is going to have to wait A minimum usually Of a month Before he can even Utter the word divorce Before he can even Utter the word divorce As for the woman She can go to the qadi Any time by the way She can go Any time of the month Any time of the week Any one time She can go straight away As for the man No he's going to typically Have to wait Several weeks Before he can utter The word divorce By the way He only utters the word divorce once His talaq three times This is also from talaq bid 'i Innovated talaq So he has to wait He has to wait First of all That they have not been intimate Her menses come She now finishes her menses They haven't been intimate Now he can issue the divorce That gives him time to reflect When he issues the divorce Does she actually become divorced? No What happens is now There is three menstrual periods Typically In most situations Some exceptions If they've only just been married Different things Just to simplify In most situations Three menstrual periods He has to spend on her He has to live with her He has to provide for her He has to treat her as his wife Now That's typically three months It might be more than three months For some women All that time He has to wait At the end of that time Which we've now got to Somewhere in the region of four months Depending on the situation Could be three and a half months Could be Between him First intending to divorce her And actually the divorce Actually taking place The difference is That he doesn't need External confirmation for his divorce He doesn't need the qadi To okay the divorce for him He can make the decision by himself As for the lady I believe this is from the The rahma of Allah A.S That Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala Has given it That she needs to have her divorce Checked How is that fair?
By a judge Wallah it's from the rahma That she doesn't get upset one day And say I divorce you And then she's stuck on herself With no option She finds herself Having left her husband And oh I didn't want to And whatever So instead She now comes To the judge And says to the judge That I want to divorce my husband The judge typically will ask her Okay What's the reason for that? This is my reason The judge will call the husband On the same day Sometimes on the same day Sometimes after a week So it depends on the judge Call the husband And will say to the husband That Your wife has asked for a divorce I believe the grounds of the divorce Are valid She's not just upset with you Or something It's real genuine grounds for divorce And the grounds for divorce Are quite wide For a woman Genuine grounds for divorce She's going to return The mahr The bridal gift That you gave to her And you are going to give her A divorce which is Instigated from the woman Which we call a khula Which comes from the woman And that happened in the time Of the Prophet ﷺ So when she came to the Prophet ﷺ She said I don't complain about my husband Don't say anything about his religion Or anything about his character But I can't I fear for my religion If I remain with him And I'm just Look he's got nothing wrong in his deen He's a religious man His character is good But just me and him It's not working So are valid grounds for divorce? The Prophet ﷺ called him He said Return the bridal gift to him She returned a garden to him Of the bridal gift And the Prophet ﷺ Dissolved the marriage straight away Dissolved So this idea of a man Kind of like abusing his wife And a wife desperately trying To get out of the marriage But she can't because The Qadi is not allowing it It doesn't really exist It's not I don't know I think it can exist But it doesn't exist in Islam I think it can exist in times Where Islam is not implemented properly And that's the reality Is whenever you don't Implement Islam properly You bring zulm upon everybody Everybody gets oppressed You know men become oppressed Women become oppressed Many men are oppressed to be honest Especially by this feminist ideology That is now spreading around At the end of the day When you take Islam Out of the equation Everybody oppresses Men oppress women Women oppress men Everyone is just oppressing Everybody else But when you put Islam there properly There should never be a situation Where a woman feels trapped In a marriage And also bear in mind In cases of severe violence Like where there is severe Darak upon her Then I don't think There's any blame on her In that case Leaving the house Because in this case This is a darura She fears for her life She doesn't have to wait For the qadi She leaves Because in this case She fears for herself And she fears for her life Or she fears for her health Like in a severe way But generally speaking Most cases Look most marriages Are not like that Most marriages She's not happy with her husband He doesn't listen to me He doesn't understand my feelings And all this type of stuff Okay Let her go to the qadi And explain to the qadi And let the qadi just Check the reasoning That's all Okay Just make sure That it's not something Someone says You know sometimes You want to say Look sister He's a good husband You know like He's doing good for you Do you really Do you really want to Go through with this That's all it is It's that check and balance Do you really want to Go through with this As for the man It's not expected That he will make That decision And if he does make it Emotionally Then he has Such a long time Before he can actually Make it Now in this way If we say that typically A woman can divorce Her husband quicker Than her husband Can divorce his wife That actually is also A sign of the mercy Towards the woman That when she really Is not happy with her husband She needs to get out Of the marriage Fairly quickly You know it's not A situation where If it's really bad She needs to get out Of it quickly And that facility Is there for her Whereas the man Typically He's got time You know like Usually the man is not I mean it's very rare That women As domestic violence From the woman Towards the husband Or something like that You know usually He has time To think about it And he gives a divorce Let him take his time The problem Which has happened now Is the bid'ah Of the talaq Which is bid'ah Innovated talaq Where people are saying Talaq, talaq, talaq You know quick fire talaq And kicking their wife Out of the house On the first day And all this Type of stuff That is nothing To do with the religion Of Islam Which brings Zulm upon her And it doesn't give A chance for the marriage To survive And this issue Of khula' And talaq Is it just terminology Some people believe That khula' Is in a proper divorce And a wife isn't truly free Like what's this No I think There are differences Between khula' And between talaq There are fundamental Differences between the two That's why the two Have different words But in the sense That when the khula' Is done And the bid 'ah Is finished She's free to marry Somebody else I think that is Enough of a divorce And there is a third type As well Let's not forget about al-fasg So there is talaq Which is instigated By the man There is a khula' Which is instigated By the woman But ultimately The husband is part Of the process right The qadi calls the husband And says The husband will say I have issued your khula' I have agreed to your khula' What happens If the husband says I don't agree I'm not coming To see the qadi Very common in the west Where the qadi Has no tanfeed As we mentioned This issue of The qadi has no ability To actually do anything So the qadi says Okay bring the husband The husband says I'm not coming So now you have Something called fasg Which is annulment Of the marriage This is in the hands Of the qadi In certain situations That he can annul The marriage Without the husband's permission For example The husband has disappeared Years and years He's not being heard of I want to get married again It's not fair on me I'm just sat here There's no husband I've tried to reach him I don't know where he's gone Maybe he passed away Maybe he's ran off somewhere But we don't hear from him The qadi finds out The reality of that situation He can issue a fasg An instant annulment Of the marriage And so the issue of the khula Is it a talaq Or is it a fasg There's also a mas'ala in Is the khula Closer to a talaq Is it a kind of talaq Or is it really A kind of annulment That comes from the qadi And that's a matter The scholars talk about When they talk about The topic of the khula But what we need to establish Is that when the khula is done The woman has the right Once her iddah is finished Her waiting period is finished She has the right To marry somebody else And that's enough To prove that a khula Is a proper You know Is a proper Annulment of the marriage Okay let's move on From marriage And talk about Something else now The next place I want to take This podcast Is talking about The gender roles So we obviously Have this huge push Right now That's going on Particularly in the west About gender neutrality And how women Are just as equal as men And they should be out In the workplace Just as much as men Is this something That Islam supports or not You know I think Islam has a really Beautiful approach to this It's not forbidden For a woman to work Now in terms of Gender neutrality We've established That Islam Is about justice Equality This word equality Is a mirage It's a sarab Yeah It's like something that Whatever you do To try and achieve it You end up oppressing somebody Ultimately what's required Is adal Is justice Justice is what's needed Al-qist Fairness Is what's needed As for musawa Just making everything the same That actually is not It never works And you can see So many examples Just in real life In any way Even if you look at When people try to Make people equal In terms of Their living You know look at Things like communism And things like that And social Is about you know Equality Wallah everything You try to make this Musawa all the time You bring zulm If it's not from Allah What Allah azawajal Brought is adal So he did bring musawa Equality in some things Okay But those equality Are in things Like for example The hadith of the Prophet S .A.W إِنَّ النِّسَاءَ شَقَائِقُ الرِّجَالُ وَإِنَّمَ النِّسَاءَ شَقَائِقُ الرِّجَالُ That women are the full sisters of men There's a degree of equality in that In that sense But it has to Equality has to be Within the framework of justice As for working Islam didn't prohibit A woman from Working مُطْلَقًا Woman is forbidden to work Haram for a woman to work First of all That would not Be practical in any society You have some women Who don't have any Male guardian over them Or anyone who's providing for them And generally in Islam Actually we have a beautiful thing The state would typically provide for them The ayama The women who are unmarried Typically the Muslim state Should provide for them They should look after them They should pay for their income And look after them Take care of them They're from the people That Islam has Included within the Islamic welfare state However there's many times They can't do that There's some situations In which a woman finds That she wants to do some work First of all There are some conditions to that The first one And this is about consistency Is that she has to have the permission Either from the guardian Or either from the husband And that's part of the same consistency In the khutwama that we spoke about before The second thing is Most importantly before that We should have made it the first thing Is that it's not haram And that's an equal condition For a man and a woman That they don't work in that which is haram They don't work in that which is haram And the third one is That it doesn't take away from The work she does Doesn't take away from The other responsibilities That Allah has given her For example Let's just say That she has a responsibility To look after her husband Generally speaking And the work doesn't interfere with that The husband is happy I don't have a problem But it's not the case that You know He's upset And he's like Look you know She's just a career woman And she's working all the time And I don't see her And it's like I'm not married That's zulm upon him Because the marriage had an understanding That you two were gonna Get married under a certain set of rights And a certain set of understanding So that has to be present But the husband can He can say that I You know I'm cool with this I don't mind It doesn't interfere with my rights And there are some women Who do some amazing work Wallahi There are many jobs Where we need women Specifically in those roles Dealing with For example Dealing with females In certain aspects We don't want men to be Doing that There are some things That women do amazing I saw much women Contribute to Dawa Charitable projects Because often The man doesn't have time Because he has to earn He has to provide For his family Whereas This work she's doing It's not essential for her Because the money that she has Ultimately Whatever money she earns Is hers to spend So a lot of the time There's more women Are free To work in Charitable Voluntary Dawa type of roles Because They don't need to earn Necessarily a living from it Because they already have someone Of course there are some women Who need to earn a living But I'm saying A lot of cases like that So a lot of good comes from it But ultimately It's not Islam didn't make it the default The default is that The woman has every expectation That her father Or her husband If she's married Will provide for her She has the right To say To her husband I'm saying at home You go home You go out and work I don't want to work And I think that's something That a lot of people Would appreciate They would say that Okay that's nice I don't have to work A lot of women would say I don't want to work Why do I have to work? Like in this 50-50 system You know You need to pay half the rent You need to pay half the bills You know You need to pay Some would say I don't want to work I don't want to do that She has the default position in Islam Is that the woman Doesn't have to work But she's not prohibited Absolutely from work If it's something that works In her situation Her husband Her family It works for her So I think like Right now There's a huge Work from home culture Because of what's happened With the pandemic Covid-19 And I think that makes sense That a woman is not Forbidden from working From home But you run into problems Once the Covid pandemic Goes away Inshallah And women are going to be Required to leave their houses Because of course They're not allowed To leave their houses Because Allah says Wa qaruna fee buyuti kunna Remain in your houses And that's a Commanding verb In the Arabic language So how is a woman Expect to live her life When the religion of Islam Is telling her She has to remain in a house Ok so let's Take this question In two parts Let's take the first part About working from home First of all We establish a woman Doesn't have to work In the first place So it's not a problem for her If she has to go If her husband Was working from home Now he has to leave the house And go and work in an office That's his problem It's not her problem She's ok now She doesn't have to work But if she's got a job That requires her To leave the house Is she allowed to Based on this ayah Is she allowed to leave the house I think women are allowed To leave the house Ok but how do you Reconcile that Ok I think Can we establish Ok we can establish That it's permissible For a woman to leave the house Ok I suppose I would agree with that How do you لا تمنعوا نساءكم المساجد Don't stop your women From going to the masjid و بيوتهن خير لهن This ayah و قرن في بيوتكن First of all It was revealed Regarding the wives Of the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم رضي الله عنهن And it applies To the women After them as well I'm not going to say It's not an For this But the prophet Explained this beautifully There was a woman She came to the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم And she said Oh messenger of Allah I'd love to pray with you He said your prayer In your Your prayer That is in The masjid In your local Your local masjid Is better for you Than the prayer with me And your prayer In your home Is better than Your prayer In your local Masjid And we mentioned The hadith و بيوتهن خير لهن Their home Their homes Are better for them So ultimately This idea of Covering This idea Of being concealed This is a part Of the modesty That Allah Azzawajal Has required From a Muslim woman So it is better For her to remain In her home And she's not forbidden From going out When she needs to go out But it's different For the man It's told فَانْتَشِرُوا فِي الْأَرْضِ Go out وَابْتَغُوا مِنْ فَضْلِ اللَّهِ Go out And earn What are you sitting In her house for You need to get out And earn money Go out You know Umar r.a Used to criticize When he was in charge Of the Muslims When he used to see A young man Sitting in the masjid In the time of Work And he's you know Sitting in the masjid Just reading the Quran He said Get out Go work فَانْتَشِرُوا فِي الْأَرْضِ Go out And earn something Because that's your job As for the woman It's not your job To go out And earn something So stay in your home Stay around your home But if you go to the masjid There's nothing wrong with that If you go out to the market The prophet says In the time of the prophet No one needs to go to the market And buy things If they just want to go out And see their friends They're allowed to See their friends The issue is Not one of It being haram If that's something That they Are able to do Without compromising Their religion Because we have to be careful Because you say Yeah go out And meet your friends I go out and meet my friends In a nightclub or something You know what I mean As long as it doesn't Contradict What the religion says And yes we go back To the idea Of the authority The responsibility Of the husband In the household It has to be organised But she doesn't have to have An individual permission For every time Okay what do you mean by that There are two types of permission Right there's a general permission And an individual permission Generally a woman knows My husband doesn't object To me doing one two three Doesn't object to me Going to see my friends You know Doesn't object to me Going to buy things From the shop Doesn't object to me Going to visit You know Relatives or whatever She knows that generally She doesn't have to ask Her husband every time Because it's something That she knows from him He doesn't mind it But there are things She knows her husband Will not be happy with And he's not going to I know he's not always Happy with it So in this case She should ask And that also is part Of the consistency Of a man being responsible But a man will also be asked She says I want to go Visit my parents The man says no So the man's going to be Asked by Allah Why did you say that? Is there a reason for it? Do you have a valid reason For it or not? So you might have A valid reason You might say I need you to be here Allah has a situation In the house I need you to be here And the right of the husband Takes precedence Over the right of the parents Once the woman is married But if he says I want to keep you away From your parents You know I don't want you to see them That's oppression And he'll be asked About that oppression Zulmul zulumat Yawmul qiyamah Oppression is darkness On the day of resurrection So I think that The Islamic system Of a woman being Based around the house This is what is Natural This is what is Better for her And it's not forbidden For her to go out You know It's not something Which is prohibited For her to go out And if you look at The wives of the Prophet S.A .W. You look at what They did Wallahi The examples Amazing examples You look at Our mother Aisha What she achieved In her life In all of the hadith Of the Prophet S.A.W. She was the fourth She narrated The fourth Largest number of hadith Of anyone Among men or women In fatawa She issued More fatawa Than everyone Other than three other people She was a resource For the men And the women They would go to her But she still implemented Waqarna fee buyutikun Stay in your home She primarily stayed In her Home She went out When she needed to go Out for something What they call Khuruj ta'a Going out for Obedience to Allah Going out for You know Something In obedience to Allah But ultimately She achieved so much And she still implemented That ayah So Allah Azawajal Has given us this Because it's better For the person And like I said The man has been told The opposite You need to go out And earn money You shouldn't stay In your house And I think that is What is natural And that is what works And if you implement it Wallahi It doesn't cause Any oppression To the woman at all In fact It actually gives her So much ability To actually do things Instead of The man you know Running around From place to place And you know Trying to just Make ends meet She has so much She can do so much Learning She can do so much Teaching She can do so much Benefit she can do For the people Like Aisha Did So it's all about Seeking that benefit That Allah has given you If Allah said It's better for you To stay in your home Then stay in your home And now earn reward From Allah Azawajal But it's not prohibited And you mentioned Implementing properly I think that's a consistent Thing I'm getting From this podcast That all of these issues All of these rules If they're implemented Properly Within the framework Of Islam It's not an issue at all The problems come When people Oppress one another Outside of the framework That Islam has set And it's not an issue That Islam has It's an issue That people And I think there's another Point on what you mentioned About the The woman going out And things like that Is that when a woman Marries It's really important That she finds someone Who's compatible with her You know there are Some men Who To be honest He doesn't really He's not very You know Permissive when it comes To these things Like he's not He doesn't You know like And there are some men Who He doesn't mind You know So it's important That a woman looks For the right person When she gets married And this is also About the welly You know like It's important That the welly supports her In this Looking for the right person Because if the two Are not matching She's a person Who just Cannot stay in the house You know Even one day She has to go out And the husband Is a person Who expects That his wife Will only leave the house When it's on fire That's a big problem You know Compatibility problem It's not that The wife is necessarily wrong Or that the husband Is necessarily bad But they just The two of them Are not compatible With each other And that's the type of thing That the welly Should be looking at And making sure That look Are you sure This is the right type of person For you You should be asking Those kind of questions To the husband as well And I thought on that topic Of the welly also And I know we kind of Finished the topic But even this issue Of how a woman Can approach a man It's really difficult You know If she doesn't have the welly Is she supposed to like Just Yeah You know Just walk up to him And just like You know Hey how are you doing Are you thinking about Getting married It's a means for her To actually be protected A little bit You know Good point And a lot of the things In marriage Like the mahr Are there to show The value of the woman They say that the mahr The wisdom in the mahr In the bridal gift Is that a man Actually has to work hard To get married to a woman It's not like Oh I want to marry you It's okay we're married You know like He has to now Go out and work He has to earn money In order to just afford The bridal gift And to be able to spend on her To be able to provide Her accommodation So now it's someone Who's She's worth something to him It's not like She's like She has a You know he's like Yeah I have to you know To keep her I have to really work hard So she has a value In that sense It's not something That has no value Like the women of Jahiliyyah You alluded to it earlier I think the nature Of these discussions On the Hot Sleep Podcast Are by default Very one sided And if it The rules Were the other way around We're actually having An open discussion About what men have been given What women have been given You know a bridal gift That is to be To be given to a woman I'm sure there'll be Some men That's not fair What about me? You know and a man Is obligated to provide For his wife And spend on his wife Where it's not The other way around I want to highlight A point on that Very interesting You know when you talk About the bridal gift Look at countries Where the woman Is obliged to give A bridal gift Like a dowry Okay These are countries Where female infanticide Is through the roof Yeah people kill Their baby daughters And when you ask them When the little girl Is asked for What reason were you killed? Many of them say Because daughters Are a burden on us SubhanAllah Yeah we have to pay So much money To get them married off They're not going to Bring us anything They're not going to Look after us when we're old They're not going to You know all that Is going to happen is She's going to be a burden That I pay for my whole life Then I'm going to pay To get her married to somebody Then she's not going to Listen to me after that Or look at me after that Because she's going to be With her husband And it's just going to be A burden upon a burden This is the kind of thing That happens when you go against The sharia of Allah And the rules of Allah I'm not saying that every time There's that system Sure It leads to that But it is very prevalent In countries where Women are Have to pay a huge amount To get married Whereas if you look The other way around First of all The man is capable of paying right? He's the one who's been told To go out and work So now he also has to value that lady Yeah she's worth something to him That look At the end of the day Marriage doesn't come for free يَا مَعْشَرَ الشَّبَابِ مَنِ اسْتُغْهَى عَمِنكُمُ الْبَاءَةَ فَلِيَ تَزَوَّجُ Or group of young men Whoever of you Has the financial ability Let him get married So it makes him realize that He has to treat her well And he has to consider her worth something And it also isn't hard for him Like it's hard for her or her family And it doesn't And it puts a value upon Upon having a daughter And raising a daughter That didn't exist in the time of You know when you have The other way around Where you have You know that the daughter Is nothing but a burden for us Islam honestly came to bring Honor to everybody It didn't come to bring Honor to the woman It came to bring Honor to everyone Men and women And it came to bring Good to everybody But the problem is that We live in a society Which is fundamentally Going in the wrong direction And they're trying to sell you a dream Of freedom and happiness Which wallahi is just a mirage It doesn't exist It's just a lie And so many of these things Come about because They've been told And been sold This dream of freedom And happiness And liberty And whatever And ultimately Ibn Al-Qayyim I think he worded it amazing He said حَرَبُوا مِنَ الرِّقِ الَّذِي خُلِقُوا لَهُ فَبُلُوا بِرِقِ النَّفْسِ وَالشَّيْطَانِ They ran away from the slavery They were created for Is that slavery to the man? No it's not slavery to the man Slavery to Allah And so they fell into being enslaved By themselves and the shaitans SubhanAllah You run away from one You find it in the other Like now If you look at these Women who are free And liberated Allah Al-Azeem They are abused by men At a level that Is unbelievable The amount of abuse Physical abuse The amount of You know Relationship abuse The amount of They're abused for the way they look You know Putting women on billboards And whatever This is not liberty This is oppression This is actually slavery to men But they've dressed it up In the clothing of liberty To make people think that They're liberated And they're free But liberty and freedom Comes when you submit yourself to Allah Men and women SubhanAllah Very true When I mentioned وَقَلْنَا فِي بُيُوتِ كُنَّ You did link it to modesty And I think the rest of that ayah Obviously refers to that as well Yes Let's talk about that inshaAllah We recently did a podcast Myself and Sheikh Abdul Rahman On the issue of niqab What's your opinion on that? You believe niqab is wajib? I do believe that On the balance of evidence That the niqab is an obligation Gloves as well? Allah knows best I believe To the best of my knowledge That's what I believe to be correct So you believe a woman You can see where this is going You believe a woman When she leaves her house She has to be covered From head to toe She's just rendered As an anonymous being Almost like an inanimate object Just floating around She's got no personality People can't see her face You understand why this Some people That's an incredibly Misogynistic statement Isn't that the That's an incredibly Misogynistic statement Isn't that the perception No, that's not Okay, go on, carry on Isn't that the perception That many people have of Islam? It might be the perception But it's a wholly wrong perception Okay, why? Why is it wrong? There are two reasons Why the hijab was Made obligatory upon a woman First of all The hijab was not obligatory In the beginning of Islam It's something that came In the time of Medina Came after a long time in Islam It was made obligatory It was made obligatory For two reasons ذلك أدنى And يعرفنا So that she can be known Not so she can be What did you say? An anonymous floating An anonymous floating object Yeah, an anonymous floating object As some people say So that she can be known The hijab is the biggest banner That the woman goes And then she said This is me This is who I am I'm a person Who has boundaries That's what the hijab means, right? Hijab means a boundary A barrier Yeah That this woman She says I have boundaries So you make sure you stay Outside of my boundaries, yeah? Make sure I have boundaries وَأَتُوا الْبُيُوتَ مِنْ أَبُوَابِهَا If you want to go in the house Go in through the front door Don't climb in through the window I'm a person who has boundaries If I'm available to marry Go speak to my wali If I'm not Then my husband will see What is يعني Underneath this hijab Everybody else Can just keep their boundaries And you عرفنا So she's making a statement now Like a uniform makes a statement Like when you see somebody In uniform It's like okay This person has authority True She's making a statement I have boundaries I have a hijab I mean I have a partition A barrier It's between me and between you وَأَتُوا الْبُيُوتَ مِنْ أَبُوَابِهَا You go to the door You go to the house through the door وَفَلَا يُؤْذِنْ And it stops her from being harmed There are many harms here But ultimately The greatest harm is religious harm People sometimes talk about The tafsir of the ayah Purely It stops people You know Whistling at her And it stops people You know Leering at her But ultimately The greatest harm upon her Is the harm in her deen And the harm in disobeying Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala Or the harm in That hurts her modesty Or her chastity That's the biggest harm The harm in her religion So it saves her from The harm in the religion It saves her from the harm In the dunya And it sets out a sign That this is who I am I think it's the biggest statement Of her personality I don't believe it oppresses Her personality at all In fact Let's be honest How many times in the west And you know Personally I've seen In office environments And the way men Talk about women Because of how they look And you know Will hire her Because she's eye candy For the office And you know Will be something to look at While it's devaluing a woman That's disgusting The way people talk about Women like that And who you value her For who she is Or what she looks like I thought you put hijab on her Do you still value her now?
Yeah very true You value her for who she is Or you value her For what she looks like Well I believe that hijab Is very very important And it's important as well Because women are not like men You know ultimately If you take An average of 100 men And you put those 100 men In a line And you have a woman Walk past Who's not properly clothed And then you take 100 women And you have a man Walk past Who's not properly clothed Wallahi wallahi thumma wallah The reaction will not be the same It's true Yeah it's mustahil Impossible for the reaction To be the same Men and women Are different in that regard But ultimately A woman has a right To be valued for who she is And she has a right To set boundaries And the hijab Wallah it sets out A boundary And when I say I do believe the niqab is fard But ultimately I also don't disrespect Those people who hold A different view I understand They have evidence for it And they have They have Scholars of Islam Who held that opinion Ultimately a woman Who goes out Wearing her hijab To the best of her ability She sets that boundary She's known as a Practicing Muslim woman Who has limits You treat me with respect You treat me for who I am And it stops men From abusing her And it stops her From being harmed In her religion Or in her dunya And I actually believe That's actually A positive thing It should be seen As a very positive thing And an empowering thing Because I think Right now In the world of feminism It's quite sad Yeah Is that Feminism has actually Reduced the choices That women have Like right now In modern feminism today I'm not talking about Like first wave feminism But modern feminism today A woman wears hijab She's oppressed Whether she says She is or she isn't She's like I'm not oppressed I want to wear the hijab I want to be known As a person of modesty And I want to be judged For who I am Not what I look like No I'm sorry You're oppressed Yeah they feel like Even though she's saying that The only reason She's saying that Is because she's Being brainwashed by men And you won't be You know You won't be free Until you take off All your clothes That's the reality Of what they're saying to her And that's ultimately That goes against Even the usul of feminism It should go against it Even the fundamentals Of feminism Should say that A woman has At least they're supposed To say that A woman has a choice But ultimately They remove the choice In the same way That Islam removes the choice I do believe That Islam removes the choice By the way Because Islam Is not a religion of choices وَمَا كَانَ لِمُؤْمِنٍ وَلَا مُؤْمِنَةٍ إِذَا قَضَى اللَّهُ وَرَسُولُهُ أَمْرًا أَن يَكُونَ لَهُمُ الْخِيْرَةُ مِنْ أَمْرِهِنَ It's not for a believing man Or a believing woman If Allah and His Messenger Decree a matter They should have any choice Islam is not a religion of choices It's a religion of submission But subhanAllah People call into freedom And they remove the choices The same way Except they remove it For their intention True And you know As for Allah Azzawajal Allah doesn't decree anything for us Men or women Except that it's good for us Yeah This issue of protection And protecting the woman It can Some may argue Make it extremely inconvenient For a woman as well Like for example The hadith that says The woman can't travel Without a mahram Without a guardian So to say A male guardian Yeah Can you see why that might be Inconvenient for many women Especially now that Travelling has been made so easy Yet they can't just easily Travel from city to city Or far distances I can see how it could be Inconvenient definitely But I believe that Everything in Islam Has a wisdom right We said one of the principles We started with Allah Azzawajal Has infinite wisdom And in cases of necessity There is a different ruling here Because the ruling here Of a woman not travelling The Prophet said Allah Azzawajal said That it's not permissible For a woman who believes in Allah On the last day To travel without a mahram That is an established ruling in Islam But necessities have their own rulings right So if it's a necessity For her to travel Without a mahram Then that's a matter Which a necessity Is not included in any Of the rulings of Islam Necessities They're in All of the rulings of Islam Islam have exceptions To them because of Necessity right Whoever eats from the haram In a state of necessity Without going back to it Or eating more than they need to There is no sin upon them So we're not talking about necessities We're not talking about A woman who For example She needs medical treatment And she can't travel Because she doesn't have a mahram So we just leave her to die Islam doesn't say that Inconvenience yes But then in that regard Inconvenience In return for the pleasure Of Allah is worth it And we all do that Male and female We all do things That are That have inconveniences Like getting out of bed For Fajr for example Like getting out of bed for Fajr Or like making wudu In the morning At Fajr time When the water's cold We go through that Because we We know the rewards That exist from Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala When we obey him And ultimately There's a great wisdom And I honestly believe That a woman travelling alone There may be situations In which a woman Can travel alone And not be harmed But a lot of the time If we say that Remember we said The ruling Al-shari'ah Looks at Al-ghalib Al-sha'i' Not al-nadir It looks at that Which is most of the time A commonplace And I would suggest That most of the time A woman who is travelling On her own If you look at history And you look at Even the world today In most countries You look at a woman Just on her own Like that travelling Like a backpacker Just walking around A city by herself There's a lot of danger in that More than with a man And that's the ghalib I think that's the ghalib That's the majority No but I'm not sure That's valid Because nowadays You get on flights And you're not alone You're with other people But Islam is saying You can't even get on a flight Without your husband No I'm not sure That's the case As the majority of women As many non-Muslim women Who travel around On a flight From one country To another country They're not harmed And I believe That there's a lot of Un-Islamic things Happening in that situation A lot of exposure To things Which are not Islamic In that situation True true That's true And again You know at the end of the day Islam doesn't say That in fact There are hadith That indicate That a woman That there will come a time When a woman can travel In safety But that doesn't change The ruling of Islam Because there are harms There with Perceive them or not And to be honest I think even On flights And I travel a lot I take a lot of flights And honestly You can see When women are travelling By themselves In many situations Not every situation I don't need to prove Every situation I only need to prove That this is Commonplace That things happen That shouldn't Okay I'm coming Towards the end Of the questions That I have for you I want to move On the discussion To inheritance And again this is something That is very well known In Islam That a daughter Inherits half Of what her brothers Inherit Obviously if the parents Pass away How is that fair? I think I would like to stop First of all On that particular statement That a daughter Inherits half Of what the sons Inherit if the parents Pass away I think it's really important That there are many Situations In inheritance Where that's not The case Okay I Although I'll start by saying Yes The general rule That is The majority Of cases It would be the case That a male At the same level For example A child A male would Inherit Twice that Of a female Okay So let's answer That first Yeah because you've been Saying all the way Through the podcast That the sharia Comes with Yeah absolutely But I want to talk About some situations In which that's not the case So that people don't Take it as a Which is absolute It's not absolute In fact there are situations Where a woman inherits More than a man But let's just take For example This situation Where You have a man Who passes away And he left behind Sons and daughters A mixture Okay The son takes Double that Which the daughter Takes First of all We have to understand From this That this is actually A very It's actually a very Simple situation To understand Typically Boys The son In this case Will have spending Obligations He will have to Spend upon his sister He will have to Spend upon his Wife If he has one He'll have to Spend upon his mother She's still alive He will have to Spend upon Typically That's going to be His role As for that woman That money she receives Nobody She has to spend It on at all No one Except in some situations If her parents Are really poor And there is no one To spend on them Except her And she's wealthy That's a different matter But typically That money is hers Okay Handbags and shoes She can You know At the end of the day If that's what She wants to spend it on That's what she can spend it on She doesn't have to Spend it upon anybody But typically That boy would have To spend it Even upon Even if we say No one was left Except just that brother And sister That boy May well be obliged To spend To look after his sister Yeah true But that sister She doesn't have to Spend upon him So that's one reason Okay But it's actually a misconception That it's a universal rule That men receive Double what women receive In inheritance Sometimes men and women Receive the same So let's take for example A person who dies And leaves behind A sister Yeah On their mother's side Okay And a brother On their mother's side They inherit equally Half and half 50-50 The sister on the mother's side And a brother on the mother's side Okay Because Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala said وَإِن كَانَ رَجُلٌ يُورَثُ كَلَالَةً أَوِ اِمْرَآةٌ وَلَهُ أَخْرٌ أَوْ أُخْتٌ فَلِكُلِّ وَاحِدٍ مِّنْهُمَا السُّدُسُ He said if there is a man Who dies without any children Or a woman And they have a brother Or sister on the mother's side Every one of them Whether male or female Inherits a sixth What do you mean by brother and sister On the mother's side So this is We think of the dead person here So Abdullah dies And Abdullah has a half brother and sister The half brother and sister Are half from his mom's side In other words That his mom was previously married Or subsequently married And he has a half brother and a half sister They inherit equally 50-50 dead You know like a sudus A sixth and a sixth Or if they are more than that Then they share a third Equally among themselves The male and the female Do not get different amounts So that's an example When they inherit the same They may inherit more So for example let's take A woman dies Leaving behind her husband And two daughters Okay The husband inherits a quarter And the daughters inherit a third each Oh wow So now the daughters inherited more Even each individual daughter Inherited more than Their father inherited From their mother who From their mother who passed away And there are some situations Like that For example A wife dies Leaving behind a husband And leaving behind a single daughter The husband takes a quarter She takes a half The daughter And she inherits the remaining as well She inherits what remains from it There are some situations Even in which A woman inherits And a man doesn't inherit anything So let's take for example A woman who dies She leaves behind a husband And she leaves behind a father A mother A daughter And a granddaughter from her son Okay A granddaughter from her son If it was a grandson from her son He wouldn't inherit anything But the granddaughter from her son Inherits a sixth Okay So if it was her brother He wouldn't inherit anything The reason he wouldn't inherit anything Is what he has left is al -Baqi Whatever is left And there's nothing left In that situation There's nothing left for him Each share has been given out to other people And she takes a share A fixed share of a sixth But if it was the case that She had a brother The brother gets nothing Because there's nothing left for him So yes these are not like It's not the most common situation But there are situations It's not that Islam didn't set a principle Women you don't deserve anything Men you deserve more Rather there each situation is set out By Allah subhana wa ta'ala There are times when a woman gets equal There are times when she gets more There are times when she inherits And the man inherits Nothing But the general principle is That when it comes to for example Children on the same level Or when it comes to brothers and sisters On the father's side Or full brothers and sisters Generally speaking it goes in the level that The man will take double That which the woman takes But her wealth belongs to her alone And the man typically has obligations to spend Out of his wealth And that's just me finding I mean not me but The scholars of Islam mention it as From among the wisdoms you can take But ultimately We have to submit to Allah When we understand that Allah knows best for us Allah subhana wa ta'ala is not going to Oppress anybody among us He's not going to oppress any woman among us Any man among us Allah azawajal knows best And that's more important Even than the reason I just gave Which is just to say that Typically for example A man has spending obligations That he has to spend upon women But the woman doesn't have to spend upon anyone That's fair enough But that's only one example Really the ultimate example is Ala ya'lamu man khalaq The one who created you knows better What to give you and what not to give you Yeah and I think that's something that's Like I reiterate like I said before That's a constant theme that has come up Time and time again over this podcast We've mentioned some very controversial issues And of course the number one reason Why we submit that is because This is what Allah has said Having said that Within each and every single one of them You've brought about From yourself and from scholars before you Wisdoms that we can understand As human beings Let alone the hikmah and the wisdom That is with Allah that we're not even aware of I think that's an important important point To bring out that Every single ruling within the religion of Islam That we've discussed today There's not been a single one where I don't think we've actually I don't think you've actually sat opposite me and said Just accept it just accept it You've always brought about wisdoms Even though as Muslims We should be accepting it anyway As you established in the start Yeah because we have to understand that Whatever wisdoms we bring Are just our limited ability To see the wisdom in certain things But actually the wisdom is far greater than that Yeah You know we mentioned for example A woman remaining in a house And you know some of the scholars mentioned For example waqarna The word used is the word qarar And the word qarar it means to find To be settled there That's where she's going to be settled And where she's comfortable and based around And you know there are There are so many wisdoms that are mentioned But the point is that ultimately We need to have that trust in Allah That those wisdoms are there That Allah doesn't legislate zulm for anyone And Allah doesn't legislate hardship You know even this word takleef You know this word al-mukallaf They say like burdened yeah You know Allah hasn't burdened you with anything لا يكلف الله نفسه إلا وسعها Allah has honoured you with Islam Allah has given you gifts Allah has blessed you Allah hasn't burdened anyone with anything But these examples are just to show That there are wisdoms So people watch and say okay Yeah I can see some of the wisdom in that But actually the wisdom in it Is far greater than even What any human being can express Or can explain Yeah I have one more question for you Before we move on to some of the closing questions And this is to do with actually a topic That is not normally associated with Islam And that's the topic of superstition And there's a hadith I have here In Sahih al-Bukhari Where the Prophet ﷺ said Evil omen is in the woman The house and the horse How do you explain that? إنما الشؤم في ثلاث حديث أو كما قال صلى الله عليه وسلم That الشؤم is found in three things I think that first of all What you said in the beginning Is actually very important That superstition has no place in Islam So whatever this hadith means For certain this hadith is not superstition But الشؤم is where you can feel That something is not right for you It's just this is not meant for me And the Prophet ﷺ mentioned three things He mentioned المرأة A woman As in your wife دب A riding beast And a بيت A house Islam doesn't oppress houses I think we've all agreed unanimously That Islam is not a religion that oppresses houses Or oppresses horses or camels So there's no reason to consider this oppresses a woman It simply means that When you know you have that feeling A شؤم is like that Like you have a feeling That it's just this doesn't It isn't meant for me This doesn't work for me There are some houses There's no reason Someone says explain why It's not a compromise It's not working for me It's not something that is right for me Now Islam didn't approve any kind of superstition That this person is superstitious Or they're a curse upon me Or an evil omen upon me I think the translator there Tried to find a good word for a شؤم Which is difficult to bring in But this feeling that something just To be honest this person is just not bringing good for me You know Since I married It's just not worked out for me One way or the other That is correct to say about a woman About your wife That it could be a case that someone got married And it just doesn't suit them And they can't necessarily put their finger on it Or they can't really Necessarily express it in words It's just not working out for me And the same thing can happen with a riding beast That this riding beast Since every time I've ridden it Something has gone wrong Like it just didn't work out for me And I'm not saying it's superstitious Or it's cursed or something I'm just saying that it just Has not worked out for me Properly at all And likewise a person can say so about a house You see you know what I've just decided I'm going to move Why are you going to move your house in a nice area It's just not for me This thing is not for me So that is one understanding of the hadith But for sure what we can say is There is absolutely no chance of superstition in Islam Because that goes against That goes against tawhid Which is the essence of Islam Yeah Okay I want to move on to some closing questions now Before I give you a chance to summarize What we've discussed so far I was wondering when you were going to ask me About the things that women have been given That men haven't been given Yeah that's not for this podcast That's definitely not for this one We're not going to talk about wearing gold and silk And you know the ease that's been given to the women In some of the hadiths No that door is closed That door is definitely closed That's not for discussion here Okay Okay What if someone listens to this And they've heard what you have to say And they agree with what you have to say However they say that There is no doubt that the religion of Islam Nowadays as it is practiced Let's just say culturally In parts of the world Is oppressing women And therefore What about the solution of actually Changing some of the texts Some of the religious texts To make sure that these kind of things aren't abused What are your kind of thoughts on that? Okay The problem with that There are three real huge problems The first thing is that Allah Azzawajal Sent down this religion Knowing what would happen until the end of time اليوم أكملت لكم دينكم وأتممت عليكم نعمتي ورضيت لكم الإسلام دينا اليوم أكملت من أفضل عليكم وتمامت عليكم دينك واتممت عليكم صلاة وإسلام إخلاص عليكم الإسلام هو دينكم الإسلام هو دينكم الآن مهما كان دينك ذات يوم كما قال امام ماريك مهما لم يكن دين ذات يوم ليس دين اليوم ديننا لا يملك هذا نشر الثاني يوم عندما تفتح الباب انت فقط فتح الباب للناس الذين تريدون ربوض لفتح النقص فقبص انت فتح الباب بفضل الأنبوب والرضاء opening the door to revision of the text according to what you feel and like the ulema say, al-'uqool tatafawat, the intellects go are different of different levels some people they might recommend something that they see to be good but another person sees it to be bad or it has negative side effects so it's this idea of allowing people to revise the text the third thing is it's just not necessary because all that is necessary is going back to the Islam of the Prophet s.a.w. it's not Islam that's at fault it's not practicing Islam that's at fault and actually if you look at that you actually see that the question itself provides the answer that there are people not practicing Islam properly so let's revise Islam actually there are not people not practicing Islam properly so let's start practicing Islam properly they are the ones who revised Islam and oppressed their women, wastawsu bin nisa'i khaira, treat your women well the Prophet s.a.w. told us that you've taken them as an amanah from Allah as a responsibility from Allah it's a severe thing it's a mithaq which is ghalib Allah described in the Quran as a heavy oath a heavy burden this is what Islam said so what we need to do is go back to Islam and we need to get rid of every attempt to change and revise and modify Islam now someone might say and it's really important to note that Islam does provide flexibility in the form of qawa'id and usool what we mean by that is that there are principles and a framework which is from Islam revealed by Allah which gives us flexibility in certain things that flexibility is built into Islam you don't need to add it or revise it or change it it's actually an original part of Islam and it only exists in certain things where Allah Azzawajal has given you that right flexibility that is there that's how someone says well how can Islam survive until now because there are qawa'id and usool principles foundations and a framework which allows you to deal with new situations new circumstances and so on in the light of what Allah revealed and not according to people's uqool because the feminist for example wants it revised one way and let's say for example someone who is a misogynist for example wants to revise it a different way and ultimately we don't want either of them to revise it we want it to be like it was revealed from the Lord of the Worlds you know you mentioned throughout this podcast that feminism and feminists like what are your general thoughts on this kind of feminism movement that's been taking place I think that when I looked at feminism and I don't claim to be an expert on feminism I don't think that's fair I think my job here is to is to present what Islam what I know of Islam and so I would say you know I would definitely put that disclaimer out there but from what I have understood about feminism is that feminism gathers together lots of different movements and lots of different ideologies and lots of different of different severity within that and different perspectives and different levels of extremism and extremity to be honest are gathered all in together there are certain things that feminists wanted to achieve at some point be a first wave feminism or second wave feminism but Islam already gave them in the beginning and so what we say is that feminism there was not really the answer but the answer again was actually Islam Islam already gave you know for example you have some situations where a woman is effectively treated like like property you know like she's basically inherited and you know that she is considered to be a slave to a husband and things like that Islam already gave women those rights so the right to break out of that was given to them by Islam they don't need a movement to do that and there are a lot of things in there that are not part that are not compatible with Islam in all honesty and there are some things in there that reach such an extreme that they even break the rules that feminism was built upon you know this all this these issues now that it's modern agenda which takes the choice of a woman away the choice to be a woman the choice to be just a woman you know no no you're not allowed to be a woman you have to be a man until you be until you be until you are a man you cannot you know you cannot be a feminist you guys that's that really in reality is taking far far away from what's gonna bring a woman happiness and ultimately men and women our happiness is in servitude as soon as you leave servitude to Allah you end up with servitude to creation and that inevitably is usually gonna end up with a woman in servitude to a man because at the end of the day that's how society has has worked for the longest time when you have servitude to Allah that's the only way to break out from that because that woman says look you know I might be obeying you in what is good the minute you tell me you do something that Allah is not happy with I'm sorry my servitude is to Allah not to you and that's ultimately what's gonna bring men and women happiness and people will search for happiness in other things but ultimately they realize that they don't find that happiness except in servitude to Allah and that's what we're calling to we're not calling to women serving men we're calling to men and women being servants of Allah and living the way that Allah has organized your life however that is with the flexibility that's in there but living in within the framework that Allah sent down for organizing and structuring our lives and ultimately you know that might mean that one is in charge and one isn't but the end of the day Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala gives you the opportunity to get near to him an opportunity for reward so I personally see that there are I wouldn't discount every single goal of feminism but I would just simply say like every ism you know it has to be just taken and compared to the book and the Sunnah yeah and what you find is that the vast majority of things in there are incompatible with the Quran and the Sunnah and you actually find now when we talk about you know whether we went to fourth wave new wave latest version of feminism 4.0 ultimately you find things that are you know we talk about all this issue of pressure on people to change their gender and you know all this kind of stuff that's going on well it's gone to a level that if the first wave feminists saw it well they would declare themselves free from it we are we are free from this we have nothing to do with it but in the beginning there may have been certain objectives which were which pushed them towards that movement which were actually given to them by Islam but answer to that is not feminism the answer to that is actually Islam because whenever you make a system for yourself to achieve something you actually realize that system falls short of what Allah already gave you final question for me before you have your chance to summarize the discussion what would your advice be to a Muslim sister who wants to be a practicing Muslim sister and she's watched this discussion but she's living in a time and a place where that is telling her that you're being oppressed you're being oppressed and she really wants to be a practicing Muslim what would your advice be to someone like that my advice honestly would be to focus on Allah you know at the end of the day for you to make your relationship with Allah right Allah will make your relationship with everybody else right and ultimately if you seek to please Allah Allah will make people pleased with you and if you displease Allah that people will never be happy with you whatever you do for them they'll never sit they'll never be satisfied so I would say the goal of that sister is not like we say we don't start by saying okay you know you need to look at your husband and you need to look at your father and you need to be no we say the first thing you need to do is build your relationship with Allah and make that your only priority and ultimately that's true for men and women because we all go through things I remember when I first accepted Islam there was a lot of pressure to do things that were not in line with Islam and until now many men are under pressure to do things that are not in line with Islam but ultimately we turn around and say my goal here is to make Allah pleased my goal is not to make people pleased and that's why even in this you know in these answers I've given I haven't aimed to please people you know I'm not making this video so that people watch it and they think oh wow you know I'm really pleased I can make it I can make it sound really sweet you know I can sweeten it we can put a bit of honey on top and it can become like you know such a you know everything can be just sweetened for people but really what we want to do is we want to make Allah happy I'm gonna make Allah pleased with us and if Allah is pleased with us people well I if there's if there's good in them they will be pleased and ultimately when you live like that you feel real freedom you actually feel like now I'm free because I don't care what anybody thinks of me على وجه الأرض on this face of this earth I don't care what anybody thinks of me if Allah is happy with me if Allah is pleased with me that's all I want and I would say to people really simple just go back الله أمرك بهذا did Allah command you to do this إذن لا يوضع يوانا Allah is not gonna let us go Allah is not gonna make us lost if Allah commanded if there's something that your husband is telling you to do that Allah ما أنزل الله بها من سلطان you have every right to say Allah didn't send down any authority you have every right to say I'm sorry I I you know I'm not willing to do that but if it's Allah that commanded you to do something Allah is not gonna cause you to be lost look at this a statement of who of a man or a woman a woman Hajar عليه السلام she said الله أمرك بهذا Allah told you to leave me here or not or was it your idea Allah told me to leave you here إذن لا يوضع يوانا Allah is not gonna make us get lost Allah's not gonna cause us to become lost he's not gonna leave any man or any woman who does righteous deeds he's not gonna cause anything they do to be lost جزاك الله خير I really appreciate your time today بارك الله فيك would you like to summarize what we've discussed I think we've got a lot of the points I think it's really really important again we go back to the idea of servitude to Allah عز وجل we go back to the idea that you have unlimited opportunities in front of you men and women you have so many opportunities Wallah when you waste your time both men and women and I don't mean just women men and women you waste your time coveting what other people have looking for what someone else has why can't I be the one sat in that chair why can't I be the one doing this why can't I be the one Allah you just you lose the opportunities that are in front of you so take them make sure you learn your religion properly because that's the only way you're gonna know first of all for men you're not gonna know how to treat a woman right unless you know your religion for women you're not gonna know what it means to be treated correctly unless you know your religion let's go back to how the religion used to be in the beginning because that's what brought on and if you look at role models like our mother Aisha رضي الله عنها you look at the mothers of the believers you look at the daughters of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم رضي الله عنهم you look at the sahabiat you see every kind of success every kind of of goodness every kind of you know achievement in this world there's so much that every Muslim woman can do Allah she just doesn't need to waste her time sitting there listening to the you know the statements of people who don't want good for her Wallah if they wanted good for her you look at them and say okay after she takes this feminism and she becomes a feminist and she leaves all the religion that Allah عز و جل has sent then what do you want from her what you want from her is كل سوء و مكروه everything evil and everything that's disgusting that's what you want because ultimately that's what is based upon is and freedom and it comes from worshipping Allah عز و جل there are so many things Islam gives rules to everyone and ultimately Allah gives you the best set of opportunities for you and sometimes I think that people want things that are harder than the things they have you know for a woman has been given for example if someone said to you look pray five times a day fast a month of Ramadan you obey let's say for example the Waliul Amr eight doors of Jannah open for you you say well I don't want it I'm sorry I'm sorry I don't I don't want the eight doors of Jannah I want to go out and work la wallah if Allah has given you something take what Allah has given you take it with both hands خذ الكتاب بقوة take the scripture with strength and go and take every opportunity that Allah has given you and you'll still find within Islam so much flexibility so much flexibility that will allow you still to be your own self to have you you know to do the things that you want you'll find that within within Islam inshallah I think otherwise I would just say the points that we made at the beginning those were the most important points to go back to I think we've covered a lot and it's been a it's been a good session alhamdulillah it was nice to come back Fareekh Allah Feekh inshallah we'll see you again soon inshallah Subhanaka Allahumma wa Bihamdik Ashhadu an la ilaha illa la anta astaghfiruka wa atubu ilayk
