The topic of marriage and seeking knowledge raises a common question: can the two co-exist without one hindering the other?
It's essential to explore this question by understanding the rulings on seeking knowledge, marriage, and how to balance the two.
The Ruling of Seeking Knowledge
Seeking knowledge is a fundamental obligation in Islam. However, there are two distinct categories of knowledge that Muslims are encouraged to pursue:
- Essential Knowledge (Fard ‘Ayn): This is the knowledge every Muslim must acquire. It is also called ‘Ilm al-Hāl (knowledge of one’s present condition). This includes the pillars of Islam. It means knowing how to perform the five daily prayers, understanding the six pillars of Iman, and knowing the rules governing personal circumstances.
For instance, a parent must know the rulings related to raising children, a husband should know how to treat his wife, and so on. This knowledge is obligatory, and no Muslim should neglect it.
- Voluntary Knowledge (Fard Kifāyah): This knowledge goes beyond personal obligations. It is highly recommended and rewarding but not individually obligatory. It encompasses deeper Islamic sciences such as Fiqh, Hadith, and Tafsir. While not every Muslim is expected to master these fields, those who dedicate their time to studying and preserving these sciences gain great rewards.
So, seeking knowledge is a noble pursuit. Essential knowledge is vital. But, voluntary knowledge has its own virtues and blessings.
The Ruling of Marriage
Marriage in Islam is generally considered Mustahabb (recommended) but can shift in its ruling based on individual circumstances:
- Mustahabb (Recommended): For the majority, marriage is encouraged but not obligatory.
- Wajib (Obligatory): If a person fears they cannot remain within the limits set by Allah in terms of chastity and moral conduct, then marriage becomes obligatory. This is particularly important for those who might otherwise fall into sinful behaviour.
Balancing between marriage and knowledge is not about choosing one over the other but understanding where your priorities lie based on your personal circumstances.
Can Marriage and Seeking Knowledge Co-Exist?
Many people wonder whether marriage will prevent them from fully committing to seeking Islamic knowledge. The answer depends on individual situations, but there are a few important points to consider:
- If There’s No Strong Urge to Marry: If a person feels that they can maintain their chastity and stay within the limits set by Allah without being married, then they might choose to delay marriage in order to focus on seeking knowledge. Fasting, as recommended by the Prophet ﷺ, can help control desires for those who wish to dedicate more time to their studies.
- When Marriage Becomes Necessary: If someone struggles with strong desires or gets a good marriage proposal, marriage may take priority. In such cases, marriage isn't seen as a barrier to learning but as a necessary way to fulfil one's obligations to Allah.
- When one decides to combine marriage and seeking knowledge, the following advice of Salman al-Farisi رضي الله عنه to Abu ad-Darda رضي الله عنه becomes particularly relevant:
إِنَّ لِرَبِّكَ عَلَيْكَ حَقًّا، وَلِنَفْسِكَ عَلَيْكَ حَقًّا، وَلأَهْلِكَ عَلَيْكَ حَقًّا، فَأَعْطِ كُلَّ ذِي حَقٍّ حَقَّهُ
"Your Lord has a right on you; and your soul has a right on you; and your family has a right on you; so you should give the rights of all those who have a right on you." [Sahih al-Bukhari 6139]
- Marriage comes with responsibilities, and it’s a serious covenant between a man and a woman, as Allah tells us in the Qur’an:
… وَأَخَذْنَ مِنكُم مِّيثَـٰقًا غَلِيظًا ٢١
"... and they have taken from you a solemn covenant" [An-Nisa 21]
This verse signifies that both spouses have responsibilities towards one another, and neglecting these rights under the guise of seeking knowledge is not acceptable.
- Allah also says:
وَلَهُنَّ مِثْلُ ٱلَّذِى عَلَيْهِنَّ بِٱلْمَعْرُوفِ …
Women have rights similar to those of men equitably… [Al-Baqarah 228]
Knowledge must lead to action, and part of that action is giving your spouse their due rights. One must not neglect a spouse's needs in the name of seeking knowledge. Knowledge should help you fulfil your obligations, not distance you from them.
Practical Steps for Balancing Marriage and Seeking Knowledge
- Set Reasonable Expectations: You need to set clear, reasonable expectations about the time and effort you will spend on seeking knowledge. So dedicate a portion of your time to seeking knowledge and give it your full effort.
- Prioritise Obligations: Acquiring the obligatory knowledge should always be a priority. The head of the family, i.e. the husband, must possess the necessary knowledge to make sound Islamic decisions.
Similarly, the wife needs to have the knowledge required to properly fulfil her responsibilities. Both spouses should strive to gain sufficient knowledge to meet their individual responsibilities within the family.
- Share the Journey: Bringing a spouse along on the journey of seeking knowledge can help alleviate the feeling that one is neglecting the other.
Attend lectures together, study the Deen as companions, and make the pursuit of knowledge a shared goal. This not only strengthens the bond between spouses but also helps keep Islamic learning a priority in both lives.
- Use Time Efficiently: Free time should be filled with as much beneficial knowledge as possible. As the famous saying goes, “If you give knowledge all of yourself, it will give you a portion of itself. If you give knowledge a part of yourself, it will give you nothing.”
The more you seek knowledge, the more you will benefit. But, it doesn't mean you must sacrifice your familial responsibilities. Instead, efficient time management will allow you to balance both commitments.
Balancing Knowledge and Marriage with Multiple Wives
Throughout Islamic history and even in contemporary times, many prominent scholars have demonstrated that it is possible to seek knowledge while balancing the responsibilities of marriage, including having more than one wife. Polygyny is permissible in Islam under the condition that a man must treat his wives with fairness and justice, and many scholars have successfully fulfilled these obligations while excelling in their scholarly pursuits.
Sheikh Abdulaziz Ibn Baz (رحمه الله), Sheikh Muhammad Nasiruddin Al-Albani (رحمه الله), and Sheikh Muhammad Ibn Salih Al-Uthaymeen (رحمه الله) are examples of contemporary scholars who had more than one wife. These scholars balanced their family lives with their academic commitments by adhering strictly to Islamic teachings on justice between spouses. Despite their significant scholarly workloads, they upheld their family responsibilities, providing a living example of how knowledge and marriage, including polygyny, can coexist harmoniously in Islam.
Historically, scholars like Imam Ahmad ibn Hanbal (رحمه الله) and Imam Malik ibn Anas (رحمه الله) also had multiple wives. Their lives illustrate that balancing the responsibilities of family, including managing multiple marriages, with seeking and teaching knowledge is achievable when done in accordance with Islamic principles. They managed both their scholarly obligations and their family life with fairness and diligence, ensuring that neither was neglected.
The example set by these scholars is a reminder that the pursuit of knowledge does not have to come at the expense of marriage or family. With the right mindset, discipline, and adherence to Islamic teachings, a person can achieve balance and success in both areas.
The Ultimate Goal: Knowledge and Worship of Allah
The pursuit of knowledge should always be about worshipping Allah and drawing closer to Him. The goal isn’t just to acquire information but to practise that knowledge in a way that benefits oneself and others.
A person seeking knowledge should never lose sight of why they are studying. It is for the sake of Allah, and part of that is fulfilling all obligations—including those toward a spouse and family.
In conclusion, marriage doesn’t have to get in the way of seeking knowledge, and seeking knowledge doesn’t have to come at the expense of marriage. With the right mindset, a Muslim can balance family and learning. They can fulfil their duties while gaining Islamic knowledge.
The key is to prioritise obligations and set reasonable expectations.
Remember: Knowledge, when practised, improves all areas of life, including marriage.
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