Answer: There’s no doubt that our children have a huge right upon us, and we have to balance that right with the other obligations and activities we take part in. One option for achieving this balance is to involve your children in your activities. For example, when you are studying Arabic, Quran, Tajweed, or Hifz, you can involve your children to a greater or lesser degree. This doesn’t mean they have to do the same coursework as you. It could be something as simple as having them sit with you, bring you your notes, or engage in a related activity while you study.
However, it’s also very important to dedicate time to play with them and build a strong bond. Your children are the greatest investment you will make in this life. They require immense effort and carry a significant responsibility in the sight of Allah, the Almighty. The Prophet ﷺ said:
“Every one of you is a shepherd, and every one of you will be asked about your flock.” (Bukhar: 5200)
This responsibility takes precedence, even over the study of Islam at times, because the study of Islam is divided into two parts:
- Essential obligations (Fard)
- Voluntary acts of nearness to Allah (Nawafil)
Looking after your children is an obligation in the sight of Allah and a responsibility. It doesn’t make sense to increase in voluntary acts of seeking knowledge at the expense of fulfilling the obligatory duty of caring for your children. However, the ideal scenario is to find synergy between these two responsibilities so that you don’t have to give up seeking knowledge.
The number of hours you mentioned for your studies (16 hours per week) is very reasonable, and I would not advise you to give any of that up. However, it’s crucial to dedicate specific times for your children, especially when they want to play or need your attention. Involving them in your studies can be helpful, but they must also have a certain level of priority in your daily routine.
At the same time, we don’t want to shift that priority to such an extent that you neglect memorizing the Quran, learning Arabic, Tajweed, or Hifth. Remember, the reason we seek knowledge is to implement it, practice it, and become better Muslims. Allah, the Almighty
“Is one who is devoutly obedient during periods of the night, prostrating and standing [in prayer], fearing the Hereafter and hoping for the mercy of his Lord, like one who does not? Say, ‘Are those who know equal to those who do not know?’” (Qur’an: 39:9)
Allah defines knowledge not by the amount of information you retain but by how it transforms you. If the knowledge you’re gaining isn’t making you a better mother and wife, then it’s not fulfilling its purpose. Therefore, it’s essential to view your studies as a means to improve your practice of Islam and become a better wife and mother.
In summary:
- Don’t give up your studies, as the amount you’re doing is reasonable.
- Balance your responsibilities by involving your children in your studies. For example, you can share stories from your Tafsir classes or help them memorize small Surahs from the Quran.
- Dedicate time to play with your children and seek reward from Allah for fulfilling their rights.
And Allah, the Almighty knows best.
— Answered by Ustadh Muhammad Tim Humble
