Most people would be furious at such a question.
Yet at some weddings, the bride is seated before Non-Mahram men in her finest clothing, jewellery and makeup. Later, the photographs are uploaded publicly, where strangers can view them, save them and share them.
What happened to our Ghayrah?
The Prophet ﷺ said:
“Indeed, Allah has Ghayrah, and the believer has Ghayrah. The Ghayrah of Allah is that the believer commits what He has forbidden him.” (Sahih Muslim 2761a)
But Ghayrah is not a slogan men use to police women while excusing themselves.
Allah addresses both. He first commands believing men:
قُل لِّلْمُؤْمِنِينَ يَغُضُّوا مِنْ أَبْصَارِهِمْ وَيَحْفَظُوا فُرُوجَهُمْ
“Tell the believing men to lower their gaze and guard their chastity.” (Surah an-Nur 24:30)
Then He commands believing women:
وَقُل لِّلْمُؤْمِنَاتِ يَغْضُضْنَ مِنْ أَبْصَارِهِنَّ وَيَحْفَظْنَ فُرُوجَهُنَّ وَلَا يُبْدِينَ زِينَتَهُنَّ إِلَّا مَا ظَهَرَ مِنْهَا
“And tell the believing women to lower their gaze, guard their chastity and not expose their adornment except that which necessarily appears thereof.” (Surah an-Nur 24:31)
A man is responsible for his gaze. A woman is responsible for what she displays.
One person failing in their duty does not cancel the duty of the other.
A woman being seen is not permission to stare. No man has the right to stare at another man’s wife or daughter, or look at her in a way Allah has forbidden. The immodesty of others does not excuse him from obeying Allah.
And a man who claims to have Ghayrah for his own family while freely staring at other women has misunderstood what Ghayrah demands from him. It begins with his own eyes.
This is not an argument against a woman dressing beautifully for her husband or among women. The issue is deliberately displaying her adornment before Non-Mahram men, whether at a mixed wedding or on a public account.
Ghayrah is also not paranoia, humiliation or controlling someone without cause.
The Prophet ﷺ distinguished between Ghayrah based on legitimate cause and Ghayrah where there is no cause. (Sunan an-Nasa’i 2558)
It means caring that the limits of Allah are honoured, beginning with your own conduct.
A wedding lasts a few hours.
But a photograph may remain online for years. It can be saved by strangers, forwarded into groups you will never see, and viewed long after the celebration has ended.
We teach our daughters that their beauty is not for every stranger to see.
What do we teach them when we display it publicly on the very day they are dressed in their finest?
We would reject the idea of selling our family’s privacy for $1,000. So how can we give it away for a few hundred likes?
May Allah restore Hayaa and Ghayrah in our homes, help believing men lower their gaze, and help believing women guard their adornment.
Team AMAU
www.amauacademy.com
