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The Spiritual Discipline of Lowering Your Gaze: A Key to Personal Growth

Ustadh Abdulrahman Hassan discusses the importance of lowering one's gaze amidst modern distractions. Uncover the spiritual and emotional benefits of this practice, supported by Quranic wisdom. Don't miss this essential guidance for a fulfilling life!

Note: The following transcript was generated using AI and may contain inaccuracies.

All praise is due to Allah, Lord of the worlds. To Him is all praise, all good, and all praise is due to Him. I bear witness that there is no god but Allah, and that there is none worthy of worship except Him. He speaks the truth, and He guides to the right path. I bear witness that Muhammad is His servant and Messenger. Peace be upon him and his family and his companions. Follow them in good faith until the Day of Judgment.

My beloved brothers and sisters, I don't think it's a matter which is concealed and hidden from any one of you—the importance of lowering one's gaze. Especially in this time that we're living in, this time where people have gone extreme in showing their ʿawrah and what is presented on social media. We're in the year 2022.

If you reverse back and you look at maybe 100 years ago, 50 years ago, even 20 years ago, what you see today and what you saw then—so different. The people shifted. The Muslims and the non-Muslims alike—they all shifted. And what was seen at one point as something evil or bad is now seen as very fine, normal.

The girl can be as young as—what—12, 11, 12, 13, and they dress her up in a certain way. They put makeup on her. Fifty years ago, 20 years ago, 10, 15, 20 years ago, you would not see a non-Muslim allow their daughter to wear makeup at a certain age.

And now the Muslims and the non-Muslims alike have fallen short in many things. We're in summer, and a lot of you who are watching are in non-Muslim countries. So the advice that I want to give you, inshallah ta'ala, is: lowering your gaze.

And I ask Allah ta'ala to make this a source of benefit for myself and for each and every one of you, inshallah ta'ala.

If you look at the Qur’an and you look at the Sunnah, you see how it talks about the concept of lowering one’s gaze. Allah subḥānahu wa taʿālā says in Surah An-Nur:

قُلْ لِلْمُؤْمِنِينَ يَغُضُّوا مِنْ أَبْصَارِهِمْ وَيَحْفَظُوا فُرُوجَهُمْ ۚ ذَٰلِكَ أَزْكَىٰ لَهُمْ ۗ إِنَّ اللَّهَ خَبِيرٌۢ بِمَا يَصْنَعُونَ

Allah says: قُلْ لِلْمُؤْمِنِينَ — say to the believing men, يَغُضُّوا مِنْ أَبْصَارِهِمْ — to lower their gaze, وَيَحْفَظُوا فُرُوجَهُمْ — and to protect their private parts.

The first benefit that we take from this is: Allah first spoke to the men. The verse after that, Allah spoke to the women. But the first group of people Allah spoke to here is the men. Allah says: قُلْ لِلْمُؤْمِنِينَ — say to the believing men, which shows you this issue of lowering the gaze is less in the men.

Okay, number one. Number two: Allah says: يَغُضُّوا مِنْ أَبْصَارِهِمْ — to lower their gaze, وَيَحْفَظُوا فُرُوجَهُمْ — and to protect their private parts.

This is what the scholars refer to as الوسيلة, the means and the goal. Lowering your gaze protects you from falling into what? Zina. وَيَحْفَظُوا فُرُوجَهُمْ — and if the person lowers their gaze, they are not going to fall into Zina. That's another benefit we take from the ayah.

Also Allah says: ذَٰلِكَ أَزْكَىٰ لَهُمْ — that is purifying. That is what will purify them. Lowering your gaze will protect you from committing Zina, and it will purify you.

تَزْكِيَة — if you are looking at تَزْكِيَة النفس, lower your gaze.

Then Allah says: إِنَّ اللَّهَ خَبِيرٌۢ بِمَا يَصْنَعُونَ — Allah says: I am Khabīr, I have detailed knowledge of what you do. So if you look at someone and then no one saw you — إِنَّ اللَّهَ خَبِيرٌۢ بِمَا يَصْنَعُونَ If you are by yourself in a dark room and you are watching indecent things — إِنَّ اللَّهَ خَبِيرٌۢ بِمَا يَصْنَعُونَ — Allah knows.

So this ayah is very powerful. One of the benefits that this ayah has, and inshallah I am going to touch on it later, is this: This ayah came down after the verse of Allah:

اللَّهُ نُورُ السَّمَاوَاتِ وَالْأَرْضِ ۚ مَثَلُ نُورِهِ كَمِشْكَاةٍ فِيهَا مِصْبَاحٌ

Which is what we are going to talk about later, inshallah — that the person who lowers their gaze, the benefits that he receives — Allah gives them light.

Inshallah we are going to talk about that when we bring the kalām of Ibn al-Qayyim from the kitab of his:

رَوْضَةُ الْمُحِبِّينَ وَنُسْهَةُ الْمُشْتَاقِينَ

Also the Prophet ﷺ, he said to ʿAli ibn Abi Talib:

يَا عَلِيُّ، لَا تُتْبِعِ النَّظْرَةَ النَّظْرَةَ

The Prophet said to ʿAli ibn Abi Talib: Don’t follow one look with another.

فَإِنَّ لَكَ الْأُولَى وَلَيْسَتْ لَكَ الْآخِرَةُ

The first one you will be exempt, you will be pardoned. But the second time you look, you will not be forgiven.

So if you saw a woman, your eye hit her — turn away straight away. Don't keep looking and follow one look with the other. It happened once — turn away straight away.

Inshallah, Allah will not hold your account for the first. But if you carry on looking, or you turned away and you look back again, you are going to be sinning.

Also the Prophet ﷺ, he taught his companions the manners. (By the way, the hadith of ʿAli ibn Abi Talib — Al-Imam Abu Dawood and Tirmidhi and others narrated it. Shaykh Al-Albani graded it to be what? He graded it to be ḥasan.)

Also the Prophet ﷺ, he taught us the manners when we are on the streets. In Islam there is akhlāq when you are at home — there are manners and etiquettes that you have to uphold. And there are etiquettes when you are outside on the streets.

From the etiquettes the Prophet told the companions — hadith of Abu Saʿīd al-Khudri, radiyallāhu taʿālā ʿanhu — and the hadith you can find in Sahih al-Bukhari — that the Prophet ﷺ, he said: Stay away from sitting on the road. Don't sit on the road. Take a chair and sit on the road — don't do that.

And the Sahabas, they said: We need to sometimes. These are our gatherings. This is where we have our circles. This is where we converse and talk to one another.

Then the Prophet ﷺ said: فَإِنْ أَبَيْتُمْ إِلَّا الْمَجَالِسَ، فَأَعْطُوا الطَّرِيقَ حَقَّهُ

If you refuse — if you persist and want to still sit on the road — then the Prophet said: If you guys persist, and you insist, and you want to — then okay, give the road its rights.

Then they said: O Messenger of Allah, what is the right that the road has?

The Prophet then said: The first right it has — غَضُّ الْبَصَرِ — lower your gaze.

If you're sitting on the road and you're in a restaurant, the first thing you need to do is غَضُّ الْبَصَرِ — lower your gaze.

Stop looking around and looking at every and anything. وَكَفُّ الْأَدَىٰ Withhold harming anybody. Don't say foul language. Don't do things. وَرَدُّ السَّلَامِ And also respond to the greetings that's given to you. وَأَمْرُوا بِالْمَعْرُوفِ وَنَهْيُوا لَعَلِي الْمُنْكَرِ And if you see good, if you see an opportunity to call to the good, call to it. Okay? And prohibit the evil.

Summary from Al-ʿAllāmah al-Ḥāfiẓ Ibn Ḥajar

العَلَّامَة الحافظ ابن حجر He brought all of the manners of the person when it comes to the road that they have to come with. He mentions it in his كتاب فتح الباري. He said:

جَبَعْتُ آدَابَ بَرَّابَ الْجُلُوسَ عَلَى الطَّرِيقِ مِنْ قَوْلِ خَيْرِ الْخَلْقِ إِنسَانًا أَفْشِ السَّلَامَ وَأَحْسِنْ فِي الْكَلَامِ وَشَمِّتْ عَعْطِسًا وَسَلَامًا رُدَّ إِحْسَانًا فِي الْحَمْلِ عَاوٍ وَمَظْلُومًا أَعِنْ وَأَغِثْ لَهْفَانَ أَهْدِي سَبِيلًا وَأَهْدِي حَيْرَانًا بِالْعُرْفِ مُرُّ وَنْهَى عَنْ نُكْرٍ وَنْهَى عَنْ نُكْرٍ وَكُفَّ أَدَى وَغُضَّ طَرْفًا وَأَكْنِذْ ذِكْرَ مَوْلَانًا

From the rights of the path he said Ibn Hafidh Ibn Hajar he says جَمَعْتُ I have combined here for you أَدَابَ مَنْ رَامَ الطَّرِيقَ مَنْ رَامَ الْجُلُوسَ عَلَى الطَّرِيقِ the one who wants to sit on the path Hafidh Ibn Hajar said I have gathered here for you the manners that you need to observe and I have gathered it from what he says من قَوْلِ خَيْرِ الْخَلْقِ إِنسَانًا the speech of the Prophet. What is it?

Beginning of Benefits from Ibn al-Qayyim

So brothers and sisters the first manners that the Prophet told us to observe when we are on the road is what? حديثة بسعيد الخدري – is to lower your gaze غَضُّ الطَّرْفِ أَمَا غَضُّ الْبَصَرِ – to lower your what? to lower your gaze

Now inshallah I want to mention the 10 benefits Ibn Al-Qayyim mentions for the person who lowers their gaze inshallah. And at the end I'm going to mention things that you can do to help you to lower your gaze inshallah.

Benefit 1 – تَلْخِيصُ الْقَلْبِ مِنْ أَلَمِ الْحَسْرَةِ

By lowering your gaze it cleanses from your heart – it cleans from your heart the feeling of sadness أَلَمُ الْحَسْرَةِ – regret. The person Ibn Al-Qayyim says:

فَإِنَّ مَنْ أَطْلَقَ نَظَرَهُ – the person who looks at everything they see دَامَتْ حَسْرَتَهُ – you see that person a lot of the times they regret what they do, they're in a state of always regret فَأَضْرُ شَيْءٍ عَلَى الْقَلْبِ – one of the greatest things that's harmful to the heart he says is إِرْسَالُ الْبَصَرُ – looking at everything

Because why? You show the heart what it wants and it cannot hold itself from it. That's why it regrets it when you show it and you don't do anything with it صح؟ وَلَا وَصُولَ إِلَيْهِ – and that's why a lot of the people who look, look, look they then become يَعْنِي رَيْبِسْت and things like that. They fall into these problems وَرَضَاتْ What they don't believe because they've been seeing it and it's displayed for them – they have the rights to go to it إِسْتَيَز عَرَفْ – this is of course it's not what happens straight away but it builds towards that Because the heart wants this زُيِّنَ لِلنَّاسِ حُبُّ الشَّهُوَاتِ مِنَ النِّثَائِ – this is what it wants and you're looking at it فَقَطْ It's like food that's placed in front of you and you're hungry صح؟ وَهَكَدَى

Benefit 2 – يُرِثُ الْقَلْبَ نُورًا

أَنَّهُ يُرِثُ الْقَلْبَ نُورًا – it gives light, illuminates your chest وَإِشْرَاقًا – يظهر في العين وفي الوجه – your eyes and your face, Allah illuminates it وَفِي الْجَوَارِحِ – even in your limbs

The opposite is true – unrestrictedly looking at everything كَمَا أَنَّ إِطْلَاقَ الْبَسَرِ يُرِثُهُ ظُلْمَةً – just looking at any and everything, it brings darkness to your eyes It brings darkness to your face. It also even brings darkness to your limbs

Ibn Al-Qayyim says if you ponder on Surah An-Nur, Allah says what? نُورُ السَّمَاوَاتِ وَالْأَرْضِ – that’s the 35th verse in Surah An-Nur right? And then 5 verses later – which is the 30th verse in Surah An-Nur yeah? No, I said Allah says sorry, the verse after it sorry, I apologize It’s the verse after it but once the lowering the gaze is mentioned, Allah mentions subhanahu wa ta'ala the what? The ayah of lowering your gaze, sorry This is where نُورُ السَّمَاوَاتِ وَالْأَرْضِ is the 35th verse and وَقُلْ لِلْمُؤْمِنِينَ يَغُضُّوا مِنْ أَبْصَارِهِمْ... is ayah 30

So 35 and 30 – this shows what? The connection Ibn Al-Qayyim says – that if you lower your gaze, Allah Ta'ala what does He do? Allah Ta'ala gives you light سبحانه وتعالى

Benefit 3 – الفَائِدَةُ الثَّالِثَةُ

أنهُ يُورِثُ صِحَّةَ الْفِرَاسَةِ That it inherits for the person firāsah – deep insight, gut feeling.

فَإِنَّهَا مِنَ النُّورِ وَثَمَرَاتِهِ

Firāsah comes from light and is one of its fruits. When you lower your gaze, your insight becomes sharper. Your gut feeling works strong, and you haven't damaged your mind or your intuition. If you look a lot, what becomes stronger is not your intelligence or firāsah – it actually goes away.

What you fall into instead is desires, and that blinds you.

This is so true – subḥānallāh – if you look at many youngsters, I've spoken to them when I was in Canada, when I was in the UK. When drug dealers, police officers, or even rival drug dealers want to catch someone – how do they do it?

They entice him with a woman.

They've tried every other means and can't get him. The only person who succeeds in breaking him is a woman. She enters his life, he puts his guard down, and he loses his firāsah.

She tells the others where he is, and he'll be caught, fall into trouble. They tell her: bring him somewhere – and then they do what they want to him.

وَهَذَا حَقٌّ – this is true.

Lowering your gaze and staying away from all this gives you ṣihhat al-firāsah – sound judgment. You see things as they are. Your heart becomes illuminated, and your ability to see things, judge correctly, and speak clearly becomes sharper.

Benefit 4 – الفَائِدَةُ الرَّابِعَةُ

أنهُ يَفْتَحُ لَهُ طُرُقَ الْعِلْمِ وَأَبْوَابَهُ

It opens the path of knowledge for you and its doors. وَيُسَهِّلُ عَلَيْهِ أَسْبَابَهُ – and the means of gaining knowledge also become easy for you.

We all know the famous story of Imām al-Shāfiʿī, right?

When he went to his teacher Wakīʿ ibn al-Jarrāḥ al-Ruʾāsī, he said to him:

شَكَوْتُ إِلَى وَكِيعٍ سُوءَ حِفْظِي فَأَرْشَدَنِي إِلَى تَرْكِ الْمَعَاصِي وَقَالَ اعْلَمْ بِأَنَّ الْعِلْمَ نُورٌ وَنُورُ اللَّهِ لَا يُؤْتَى لِعَاصِي

Imām al-Shāfiʿī had just seen a woman once – it wasn’t for long – but his memory weakened. He wasn’t able to memorize like before. He complained to his teacher, and his teacher said: “This is nūr – and looking at a woman extinguishes that light.”

When you look at what is ḥarām, your knowledge goes back, you forget what you memorized.

It's like pouring water into sand in the desert – what’s going to come from it? Nothing. No juice, no palm tree.

All the knowledge you’re learning – it goes nowhere. You lose it straight away.

Because what? After learning, you go and look at ḥarām. So recalling information and remembering – it all goes.

Benefit 5 – الفَائِدَةُ الْخَامِسَةُ

أنهُ يُورِثُ قُوَّةَ الْقَلْبِ وَثَبَاتَهُ

Lowering your gaze gives your heart strength and steadfastness.

People who are solid – strong-minded, firm upon their religion, brave, and courageous – are people who lower their gaze.

Ibn al-Qayyim says: lowering your gaze benefits you by making you solid on your beliefs. You’re not shaky. You’re brave and courageous.

فَيَجْعَلُ لَهُ لِسَانَ الْبَصِيرَةِ مَعَ سُلْطَانِ الْحُجَّةِ

You receive basīrah (insight) and the ability to articulate. You don’t care –

لَا يَخَافُ فِي اللَّهِ لَوْمَةَ لَائِمٍ

You are not afraid of the blame of the blamers. That’s the benefit of lowering your gaze.

Benefit 6 – الفَائِدَةُ السَّادِسَةُ

أنهُ يُورِثُ الْقَلْبَ سُرُورًا وَفَرْحَةً وَإِنْشِرَاحًا

It brings to the heart happiness, joy, and expansion of the chest.

وَذَلِكَ لِقَهْرِ عَدُوِّهِ

Because you’ve now defeated your enemy – Shayṭān. You’re in a state of happiness, joy, and in a good place.

This point is very important: A lot of people who don’t lower their gaze – they lose happiness with their spouses. There’s nothing wrong with their spouse. The issue is they’ve been looking elsewhere.

They start saying:

So happiness doesn’t just leave you – it leaves your marriage. You're no longer happy with your spouse only because you're looking at ḥarām.

And a lot of the time, you’re looking at people who aren’t even real.

If that person took off their makeup, you'd see a totally different person. You're comparing your wife to someone who’s not even authentic.

That’s not makeup anymore – that's face painting. They paint their face whatever colour they want.

You're comparing that with your wife and not seeing the natural beauty Allāh has given her. You’re blind to her being pure, yours, your everything.

Why?

Because you're not lowering your gaze.

And so, all of this affects your happiness and joy.

Benefit 7 – الفَائِدَةُ السَّابِعَةُ

أنهُ يُنقِذُ القَلْبَ مِنْ أَسْرِ الشَّهْوَةِ It saves the heart from being a captive to desires.

We all hate to be imprisoned, right? Imprisonment is not something we like.

So by lowering your gaze, your heart will not be a captive for nothing and no one.

But the other people are what? They are captives.

That’s why Ibn al-Qayyim said:

هَرَبُوا مِنَ الرِّقِّ الَّذِي خُلِقُوا لَهُ، فَبُلُوا بِرِقِّ النَّفْسِ وَالشَّيْطَانِ

They ran away from being slaves to Allah, so they became slaves to their whims, desires, and Shayṭān.

You have to always remember: You’re either a slave of Allah or a slave of your desires.

That’s why one day, the kalām of Ibn al-Qayyim hit me hard. I read it years ago. He said – and I’ll never forget this –

I once saw a man addicted to drugs, and he was crying, saying:

“I want to stop this. I really want to stop this. I can’t. I’ve tried.”

Who's controlling who? Who's the captive here?

He is a captive of his desires. He says, “I can’t stop it.” No one is forcing him. No one is putting the drugs in him. It’s that the nafs has taken control over the body.

This is what happens to people who are addicted to watching these wrong things. They become captives. They can’t get out. They’re struggling – because the nafs has control, and they’ve lost control.

People say “I’m free.”

But you're not free.

Your nafs tells you where to go – and you go.

The greatest freedom is when you take control over everything, and you say to your nafs: “We're going to do this, OK?” With whose commandments? Allah’s.

That is a free individual. I call that person a free thinker.

But the person who lets his nafs take him right, he goes right. It says go left, he goes left. It wants something, he pounds on it.

He’s a captive. Whatever he may call it, he’s not free.

He looks free to people, but in reality? There are hidden shackles on him.

He is being controlled.

His nafs tells him what to do – and he obeys.

That’s why he doesn’t find happiness.

Because the nafs is very destructive.

It will lead you where?

That’s why the scholars said: النَّفْسُ كَالطِّفْلِ إِنْ تُهْمِلْهُ شَبَّ عَلَىٰ حُبِّ الرَّضَاعِ وَإِنْ تَفْطِمْهُ يَنْفَطِمِ

The nafs is like a baby – If the mother keeps breastfeeding it for 5, 10 years, it will keep feeding.

You have to stop it. You have to say:

“Hey! Your two years is finished. That’s it.”

That’s what the nafs is. If the person lets it do what it wants, it won’t stop.

It will take you to:

وَمَنْ يَكُ قَائِدُهُ الْهَوَىٰ يَوْمًا... يَصِلْ بِهِ إِلَى الْبَلَاءِ وَالْهَلَاكِ

Or as they said:

Whoever takes a crow as their guide, what will the crow do? It will lead you to a corpse.

That’s where the nafs takes you.

The eye is the same. When you’re looking at everything, you’re giving the nafs what it wants.

And it’s not going to stop there.

Wallāhi, I remember watching a snippet of a documentary once. It wasn’t long. It was about a serial killer – a rapist, a man who raped and killed women.

They asked him:

“What caused this? Why did you do it?”

He said:

“Pornography. I don’t know why I watched it. But I did everything I saw.”

So the issue is what?

Looking.

It all started with looking.

Other great scholars have said:

The eye is an arrow. When it looks, it throws an arrow to your heart.

You’re affecting your heart – Until you reach a point where:

You're finished. You've passed a level where no one can even reason with you.

The munkarāt and evil have become layer upon layer.

Wallāhi, brothers, I have to be honest: I get so many questions – from this issue.

People watching indecent things.

Most of the time, it’s women complaining:

“My husband is watching these things.” “Shaykh, what do I do?”

The man is married, has a wife, kids – a whole family – and he’s still watching this stuff.

It’s evil.

You’d think he’s single. But he’s not. He's a father. He’s a husband. And yet…

So if you start watching things like this – Don’t think it’s going to stop.

It’s very hard to stop once you begin.

Brothers and sisters, lowering your gaze is خَطِر جِدًّا – very dangerous if you don’t.

And the opposite is true, too.

Cases have come where it’s not just the brothers – it’s also the sisters.

So the lowering of the gaze – brothers and sisters – This seventh benefit the Shaykh is saying:

It frees you from the shackles of Shayṭān. You are not a captive anymore.

🔑 Listen to this point:

Your eyes, your ears, and your mouth – protect them. Your heart will stay clean.

They are the three roads to your heart.

We all know the famous hadith:

أَلَا وَإِنَّ فِي الْجَسَدِ مُضْغَةً إِذَا صَلَحَتْ صَلَحَ الْجَسَدُ كُلُّهُ وَإِذَا فَسَدَتْ فَسَدَ الْجَسَدُ كُلُّهُ أَلَا وَهِيَ الْقَلْبُ

So protect:

  1. What you look at – Wallāhi, don’t look at what’s ḥarām.
  2. What you listen to – many people today are listening to music that’s practically pornography.

The lyrics are fahshāʼ, mujrim, filthy.

Scholars said music is ḥarām, but this is worse. This is a man talking about what he does with a woman.

And Wallāhi, I don’t understand:

How is it a sister or brother is listening to this, nodding to it?

A woman is listening to a man say:

“I do this to a woman…”

And they’re memorising it, bobbing their heads, and they’re Muslims?

Where is the ghīrah?

Where is the sense of shame?

That’s gone.

Now you realise – they are captives.

It’s no longer just about music – It’s the vulgarity of it all.

So the person listening to music today is like someone watching pornography.

Because:

You speak those thoughts. That’s the third limb – your tongue.

All three – eyes, ears, tongue – are affecting the ummah, Wallāhi.

If the Prophet ﷺ saw our state today… May Allah protect us all, he would be very upset.

He would be appalled at what we’ve become.

We’ve left his guidance.

We’ve taken our desires as our lord.

They tell us to stand – we stand. To sit – we sit. To go left – we go left. To go right – we go right.

This is الفائدة السابعة.

Eighth Benefit

Blocking the doors of Jahannam

“Now we're going to go to the eighth one, which is: lowering your gaze blocks from you the doors of Jahannam. You’ll be far from Jahannam by lowering your gaze. We're all together. And that's why we say the doors from the doors of Jahannam—because Zina enters you into Jahannam. If you stop yourself from looking… And no one just goes and does Zina. You have to talk to the person you're doing Zina with, you have to see the person you're going to do Zina with—there are a lot of things that have to happen. If those things don't happen, Zina doesn't happen. And so you're protected, insha’Allah.”

Ninth Benefit

Strengthening of the Intellect (ʿAql)

“The ninth benefit is:

Annahu yuqawwi ʿaqlahu wa yazīduhu wa yuthabbituhu

He becomes very smart. A human being is what? A human being is two things: ʿaql (intellect) and emotions. If you keep looking at things, it increases your emotions, which is your desires, and it reduces your ʿaql.

Does that make sense?

The more you suppress that—those desires—the more it sharpens your ʿaql. The more you become a person who uses their mind more than their desires.

That’s why some people, when you're conversing and talking with them, they just don't seem like they're making any logical sense. Why?

Allah said about the munāfiqīn:

Wa idhā ra’aytahum tuʿjibuka ajsāmuhum, wa in yaqūlū tasmaʿ liqawlihim, ka’annahum khushubun musannadah, yaḥsabūna kulla ṣayḥatin ʿalayhim, humu-l-ʿaduwwu faḥdharhum, qātalahumu-llāh, annā yu’fakūn.

When you see them… tuʿjibuka ajsāmuhum — the way they look, built, goes to the gym, takes care of his physique and his appearance. But when he speaks — a five-year-old child makes more sense than him!

And Allah says: yahsabūna kulla ṣayḥatin ʿalayhim — every noise that’s made, he thinks it’s against him. He's like: “Why are you talking about me? Why is everybody attacking me?”

And no one’s even talking about you!

But deep down you know you're in the wrong, so everything sounds like it’s about you.

Allah takes away the ʿaql. The person doesn’t make any logical sense anymore.

When you lower your gaze, it sharpens that side—you become a very intellectual, smart, thinking individual.

May Allah make us from them.

But those of us who follow our desires—everything we say makes no sense. Because what have we made our reference point? Our emotions. Not our intellect.

That’s why a lot of people have khiffat al-ʿaql — very light intellect, shallow-minded.”

Tenth Benefit

Freedom from the agony of desire and heedlessness

“The tenth benefit, insha’Allah taʿala, is:

Annahu yukhalliṣu al-qalba min sakrat al-shahwah

It frees the heart from the agony of desire.

And also from:

raqdat al-ghaflah — heedlessness.

The person is in a state of ghaflah about Allah and the Day of Judgment. Why?

It's like a mirage. He thinks he can see something — one woman doesn’t work out, he chases another. That doesn’t work out, he chases another.

Wahakatha — like that, and so he is in ghaflah (heedlessness), and also in sakrat al-shahwah — the agony of desire.

A lot of people are in that situation.

One of the worst illnesses to suffer from is sakrat al-shahwah.

That’s why Ibn al-Qayyim — the whole reason he wrote his book Rawdat al-Muhibbin wa Nuzhat al-Mushtaqīn — One of the things he talked about is al-ʿishq — lust — where the person just becomes obsessed and psychopathic.

So the point is:

These are the ten benefits of lowering one’s gaze.”

Conclusion & Transition to Solutions

“Now, insha’Allah taʿala, I want to conclude this series with steps you can take, bi’idhnillah.

A lot of people say:

‘Akhī al-karīm, my brother Abdul Rahman… I do this — and wallahi, the ten things that you mentioned — that Ibn al-Qayyim mentioned — I can put my hand up and say: wallahi, it’s true. Lowering the gaze — these are the ten.

Lakin — aʿtubu ilallah — I repent, but I keep falling back into it again.

What do I do here? I’m not going to deny all the points you mentioned — I know I need to change.

My life is a mess. My marriage is a mess. Everything is a mess for me.

I want to get out of this. I repent, I fall back into it again.

What do I do?’

The advice that I want to give you, insha’Allah taʿala, is the following…

Ibn al-Qayyim — first of all, I start by saying:

As’al Allah, Rabb al-ʿArsh al-ʿAẓīm… I ask the Lord of the Throne — to this individual who is asking this question, to every Muslim, and to myself — that Allah expands our chest to always ask for forgiveness.

And I also ask Him, subḥānahu wa taʿālā, that He makes us firm upon the truth.

And I ask Him, subḥānahu wa taʿālā, that He gives us the ability and the strength to say that which is right and to act in accordance to that.”

🌿 Steps to Help You Lower Your Gaze and Overcome Desires

(From the speaker's continuation of Ibn al-Qayyim’s discussion)

✅ Step One: Know that Allah Sees You

“The first advice I give you is:

An taʿlama anna Allāha yarāk That you know Allah can see you — Subḥānahu wa Taʿālā.

Allah knows everything.

Constantly remind yourself — at every moment — that Allah can see you.

Alam yaʿlam bi anna Allāha yarā? "Does he not know that Allah sees?"

Allah knows what is outward, and what is hidden in the heart:

Yaʿlamu khā’inat al-aʿyun wa mā tukhfī al-ṣudūr "He knows the treachery of the eyes and what the chests conceal."

What does “treachery of the eye” mean? It’s the eye that secretly looks at haram. Allah knows.

Allah is al-Baṣīr, the All-Seeing.

This awareness should be the greatest deterrent — the akbar rādiʿ.

Alam yaʿlam bi anna Allāha yarā?

The Qur'an constantly reminds us:

All of this shows Allah sees and knows everything.

Abu ʿAbdillāh al-Antākī, as mentioned by al-Qushayrī in his Risālah (p.141), said:

Man kāna bi-llāhi aʿraf, kāna lahu akhwaf “Whoever knows Allah more is more fearful of Him.”

So you must know that He sees you.

Now, here’s a question:

If the most respected person in your life was present, would you do this in front of them?

You’d say never.

But Allah is watching you — so why would you do it in front of Him?

✅ Step Two: Duʿā’ (Supplication)

“The second advice I give you is: al-duʿā’ — supplication.

Increase in making duʿā’. Constantly seek refuge in Allah from evil.

Especially the duʿās taught by the Prophet ﷺ.

The Prophet used to say:

Allāhumma innī aʿūdhu bika min sharri samʿī, wa min sharri baṣarī, wa min sharri lisānī, wa min sharri qalbī, wa min sharri maniyyī.

“O Allah, I seek refuge in You from the evil of my hearing, my sight, my tongue, my heart, and my desires.”

And also:

Allāhumma innī aʿūdhu bika min munkarāti al-akhlāqi wal-aʿmāli wal-ahwā’

“O Allah, I seek refuge in You from evil manners, actions, and desires.”

Looking at women (or men), lusting — this is from munkarāt al-akhlāq — bad character. So beg Allah to protect you.

✅ Step Three: Care for Worship (Al-Ihtimām bil-ʿIbādah)

“What also helps is giving importance to acts of worship.

Prioritize worship in your life. For example:

Go early, calmly, with purpose.”

💎 A Beautiful Anecdote: Muʿāwiyah & al-Mughīrah

“One of the beautiful gems I want to share:

Muʿāwiyah (raḍiyallāhu ʿanhu) wrote to al-Mughīrah ibn Shuʿbah, and said:

Uktub ilayya mā samiʿta min Rasūlillāh — “Write to me what you heard from the Prophet ﷺ.”

Al-Mughīrah replied:

The Prophet ﷺ used to say after every prayer:

Lā ilāha illa Allāh waḥdahu lā sharīka lah, lahul-mulku walahul-ḥamdu wa huwa ʿalā kulli shay’in qadīr. Allāhumma lā māniʿa limā aʿṭayt, wa lā muʿṭiya limā manaʿt, wa lā yanfaʿu dhul-jaddi minkal-jadd.

He also mentioned:

The Prophet ﷺ used to prohibit:

The point: Acts of worship and fulfilling obligations help you fight desires.

Allah says:

Wa istaʿīnū bi’l-ṣabri wa’l-ṣalāh

“Seek help through patience and prayer.”

So turn to these actions — they will help you.”

✅ Step Five: Choosing Righteous Companions (الرفقة الصالحة)

“The fifth piece of advice is: al-rifqah al-ṣāliḥah – having righteous company and good friends.”

📖 Quranic Warning:

"And the wrongdoer will bite on his hands [in regret] and say: ‘Oh! Would that I had taken a path with the Messenger! Woe to me! Would that I had not taken so-and-so as a friend! He led me away from the remembrance after it had come to me.’" [Surah al-Furqan 25:27–29]

🐾 A Beautiful Reflection on the Dog of Aṣḥāb al-Kahf:

"If you’re with good people, you will always benefit. You never lose."

✅ Step Six: Attending Circles of Knowledge (حلق الذكر)

“Another piece of advice is to attend circles of knowledge and remembrance.”

🕊️ Hadith:

مَا اجْتَمَعَ قَوْمٌ فِي بَيْتٍ مِنْ بُيُوتِ اللَّهِ، يَتْلُونَ كِتَابَ اللَّهِ، وَيَتَدَارَسُونَهُ بَيْنَهُمْ، إِلَّا نَزَلَتْ عَلَيْهِمُ السَّكِينَةُ، وَغَشِيَتْهُمُ الرَّحْمَةُ، وَذَكَرَهُمُ اللَّهُ فِيمَنْ عِنْدَهُ “No group gathers in a house of Allah, reciting the Book of Allah and studying it together, except that tranquility descends upon them, mercy covers them, the angels surround them, and Allah mentions them to those with Him.” (Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim)

🤲 Conclusion of the Talk

The speaker ends with a beautiful reminder:

“Anything good I said is from Allah, and anything incorrect was from me and Shayṭān.

Subḥānaka Allāhumma wa bi ḥamdik, Ash-hadu an lā ilāha illa Ant, Astaghfiruka wa atūbu ilayk.”

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