Answer: In the course, we mentioned that maintaining family ties extends to all those with whom there is a blood relationship. However, the level of closeness determines the type of ties you maintain.
For example, the ties you have with your siblings—how often you visit them and how you treat them—will not be the same as the ties you maintain with, say, your second cousins.
It is true that some scholars limited maintaining family ties to those who are Mahram (close relatives with whom marriage is forbidden) or those who would inherit from you. However, these two opinions are not the strongest. The strongest opinion is that maintaining family ties extends to all those with whom there is a blood relationship. That said, the level of connection varies according to the degree of closeness.
As the Prophet ﷺ said:
“Then the closest one, then the next closest one.” (Abu Dawud: 5139)
This is from the hadith about who is most deserving of your good treatment. The Prophet ﷺ said:
“Your mother, your mother, your mother, then your father, then the closest one, then the closest one.” (Abu Dawud: 5139)
This means that each family member should be treated according to their closeness and nearness to you.
Yes, you are required to maintain ties with your cousins, but the ties you keep with them will not necessarily be the same as the ties you maintain with your siblings or your uncles and aunts. Each relationship is treated according to its level of closeness and the relative’s needs.
This is why Qāḍī Iyāḍ (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
“Maintaining family ties has different levels, some of which are higher than others. The lowest level of maintaining ties is to avoid cutting them off and to keep a connection through speech, even if it is just by saying salam. This varies according to a person’s ability and the relative’s need.” (Sharh Sahih Muslim by Al-Nawawi 16/113)
In other words, the way you maintain ties depends on:
- Your ability: How capable are you of maintaining ties in a certain way? For example, how easy is it for you to visit them regularly?
- Their need: A relative who is in desperate need may require more attention than one who is doing well.
For example, a second cousin who lives nearby will not be treated the same as a second cousin who lives on the other side of the world, because your ability to maintain ties differs in each case. Similarly, a second cousin who is going through a difficult time will not be treated the same as one who is doing well.
Therefore, we can look at this matter through three lenses:
- Closeness: How close is the relative to you?
- Ability: How capable are you of maintaining ties with them?
- Need: What is the relative’s current situation or need?
These three factors will influence how you maintain ties with your relatives.
And Allah, the Almighty knows best.
— Answered by Ustadh Muhammad Tim Humble
