Note: The following transcript was generated using AI and may contain inaccuracies.
Thank you for listening to AMAU podcasts. This audio was brought to you by AMAUacademy.com Your brand new virtual hub for learning Islam online. Use the code AMAUpodcast to get 10% off your subscription Alhamdulillah rabbil alameen wasalatu wasalamu ala abdullahi warasoolihi nabiyyina muhammad wa ala alihi wa sahbihi ajma'een amma ba'd So first of all, just a little bit of kind of administration type of stuff Today we changed the order of my lecture with Shaykh Abdur Rahman's lecture So it was scheduled that Shaykh Abdur Rahman was going to give you a lecture now And I was going to give you a lecture at 8 o'clock That's for those who are joining us Over the live stream.
That's UK time However, we decided to flip it over so I've got this one and Shaykh Abdur Rahman will be with you inshallah ta'ala In around two hours from now biidhnillahi ta'ala So after praising Allah after asking Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala to exalt the mention and grant peace to our messenger Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wasallam his family and his companions we have a very nice topic and I thought the topics that were chosen for this section were really really good and what happened was the team gave us a list of Potential topics and they said to each speaker. What what do you feel like taking out of these topics? And obviously yesterday we had the topic of masculinity and femininity and rujula and all of that and The topic that I chose for today It has a very very interesting title and I honestly think it's one of the single most relevant topics you can talk to the next generation about and that is Are you an influencer or you being influenced? Are you someone who's influencing other people or who are you being influenced by and I wanted to make this topic quite interactive. So I'm gonna start with a bit of discussion from my side.
I Also want to hear from you as well inshallah ta'ala Because this is a really really big topic and the world is changing and the Effects of us being influenced by other people are immense. They're absolutely huge And what I want to show you is I want to show you that the religion of Islam has solutions for the problems we face today Now I know you know that already But at the same time what I feel is that people sometimes don't really appreciate or really feel That the things we're going through today the effect of social media the effect of fashion Identity crisis the feeling of being left out that these things Every single one of them that the tools that you need to deal with them are found in Islam So today I want to talk about the shepherd and the sheep I want to talk about influences I want to talk about Identity I want to talk about fashion. I Want to talk about the feeling of being left out And what I want to show you in the end is The truthfulness of the famous Arabic saying As-sahibu sahib Your companion is the one that pulls you the one that influences you So let's start By the fact that Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala Has created us in a way where we crave Companionship and we want to have a social network.
We want to have people around us That is a fundamental Human characteristic that Allah has created in people and I don't say that there's everyone is like that some people are a little bit more distant than others, but Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala has Created us as a network of people Who need to socialize with each other and who copy what each other do and Influenced by what each other do that is the nature of human beings and I'm gonna bring you a Statement of Allah is our gel in sort of calf Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala said to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam Waspir nafsaka ma'allatheena yad'uuna rabbahum bilghadati wal'ashiyi yuriduna wajhah Remain patient Keeping yourself with those people who call upon their Lord in the morning and the evening seeking his face Our messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is the least in need of any companion And he sallallahu alayhi wa sallam in his Ibadah and his relationship with Allah his connection with Allah and The fact that Jibreel came down to him What does our messenger need with friends? Why does our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam need to have some friends? But Allah tells him waspir nafsaka ma'allatheena yad'uuna rabbahum Oh Muhammad be patient in keeping yourself that the friends around you the people around you the companions around you are those people who call upon their Lord in the morning in the evening and That shows us wallahi that every single one of us has a need of Having good people around them. That's a trait that human beings have Sheikh Islam Ibn Taymiyyah Rahimahullahu ta'ala. He said an nasu ka asraa bil qataa Majbooruna ala tashabbuhi ba'dihim bi ba'd He said people are like flocks of birds they are Compelled to copy each other and Be influenced by each other So this whole idea of Influences and social media and peer pressure.
This is not something new. This is how Allah is the wajal created people That's why it's so effective No doubt social media has changed the game. It's made things widespread.
It's increased the number of people that influence you It's made it easier to access their content but the fundamental nature of human beings is that we are like flocks of birds we are Compelled in our nature to look at what the other guy is doing and copy him and We are compelled to want acceptance from our peers We don't want to be the one guy out on a limb we want to be the one that our peers our social group our friends accept us and And Here I want to tell you a little bit about a little bit about myself really an experience that I had growing up Because as you know, I became Muslim at a young age well, you know, I'd humped any by Allah's grace. I was about 14 years old and I experienced that issue of Pressure and then what it's like to be the person that's by yourself The pressure in the beginning to conform you want the people around you to accept you That's a human trait. You want your friends? You want people around you to accept who you are? You don't need everyone in the world to accept you, but you need people around you who accept who you are and then becoming Muslim In a situation where you literally reverse all of that and you go against all of your peers and You completely throw away the acceptance of People and you become by yourself a lot of reverts.
I mean a lot of reverts had it much worse than me But they can identify with that That is a feeling that is not easy for a human being to go through and that's why one of the greatest things that you can do on a side note for a revert is To provide them with a community that feels like they're accepted Because they have just gone and separated from the flock They have just gone against their peers their family their society every single thing So in that situation the pressure you feel like that human beings are people we need Social acceptance So one of the greatest things you can do as a side benefit for a Reaver is to provide them with that community not to smother them like You know follow them around all day and night and all of that, but actually just for it to be there when they want it For we are social creatures and we want acceptance rather from the evidences for this And I was amazed by this evidence, it's the evidence that is It's middle of life, and it's not easy to see it in the beginning the statement of Allah is our gel Regarding the people of the hellfire for my Lenin mean Shafi'in Wallah Sadiq in Hamid The people of the hellfire they say we have no intercessor, and we don't have any friends the people of Jahannam Craving what? friends They want social acceptance. They want people around them. They want someone to say that you're okay and When Allah is our gel takes that away from them that they don't have among each other any friendship or any support This is increases the punishment upon them many many times because not just that they're burning It's not just that they're suffering, but the people with them are not Supporting them or giving them any kind of encouragement or any kind of acceptance at all in fact all of them hate each other And all of them curse each other So they complain to Allah for my Lenin mean Shafi'in We don't have any intercessor wallah Sadiq in Hamid.
We don't have a friend in Jahannam I Want to start with a Hadith That All of us have heard the Hadith of Abu Musa Al-Ash'ari Radhiya Allahu Anhu wa Ardha Anna Nabiya sallallahu alayhi wa sallam Aqal Innama Mather Jalisa Salih Wa Jalisa Su Ka Hamili Miski Wanafiq Al-Keer Fa Hamilul Misk Imma An Yuhdiak Wa Imma An Tabta'a Min Wa Imma An Tajida Minhu Reehan Tayyibah Wanafiq Al-Keer Imma An Yahrika Thiyabak Wa Imma An Tajida Minhu Reehan Muntina Al-Hadith Ainda Bukhari Wa Muslim It's a well-known Hadith we have I want us to look at it in light of what we've been saying the example of the righteous companion and the evil companion is like the example of the perfume seller and The one who blows in the blacksmith's furnace So the perfume seller is well everyone knows what a perfume seller is Maybe the blacksmith is a bit different But when they work the metal like they were making swords and armor had a big fire going big furnace And someone has to keep the furnace hot So they would blow on it To make the fire come really hot and all the smoke comes up and they work the metal in the furnace like a steel factory today like the person who works in a steel factory like you imagine how a steel factory is burning hot and smoke and the Metal is being drilled down and people are hammering the metal and all that's coming up like that. I Want you to think about this example very very carefully فَحَامِلُ الْمِسْكِ إِمَّا أَن يُحْذِيَكَ The perfume seller May give you a gift وَإِمَّا أَن تَبْتَعَ مِنْهُ And maybe he'll sell you some perfume وَإِمَّا أَن تَاجِدَ مِنْهُ رِيحًا طَيِّبًا Or you find from him a good smell These three things the example of the first one is the person who benefits you Even though you don't necessarily benefit them Because this person is giving you perfume for free They actually every time you see them. They they sell perfume every time you see them.
They open the bottle Okay, come here. Let me just give you some perfume that person is A person who is benefiting you even though you're not giving anything in return. You're not paying for it and This shows you something about influence as well the influence of friends It shows you with the influence of friends That you might not be where those people are but even keeping yourself around good people It pulls you up to their level a sahibu sahib Your companions gonna pull you up and you're not even doing that much for them You're not even able to benefit them the way that they benefit you but still just being around them It's that person is raising up your level The second one Is the one you purchase from them and that's an exchange of benefit you help them and they help you you benefit them and they benefit you and the third one is The one that you're not benefiting from them directly But just by being around those people You're being influenced in a positive way And that's why when people talk about peer pressure They often talk about peer pressure in a negative sense like net that peers are pressuring me to do haram and My my friends when I'm with my friends.
I feel like I'm not The person that I can be when I'm with myself When I'm by myself But actually there's positive peer pressure by sitting if you were to take now if you were to take now a Person who is not for example a seeker of knowledge Maybe even with their prayers They're you know up and down and you put them in the conference Among all their brothers or their sisters who are praying and practicing and seeking knowledge That person might not even write a faida down or a benefit But just by being in that gathering their iman goes up Just by sitting in that gathering They become a better person than they were even if they never wrote down a benefit Or they never really took what was said on board just being around those people Because you're influenced by the people that are around you and as for The one who blows in the furnace of the blacksmith In man, yeah, I think I see that either this person is gonna burn your clothes Directly harm you there's sparks flying everywhere fire is all over the place So when you spend too much time with that person you end up burning yourself you come to a direct harm What in man Tejeda mean who re hand Tina you find a horrible smell from that person and That's why every single one of us needs to ask ourselves the question who is influencing me Because even if you went with that person With the intention of being close to them with the intention of correcting them with the intention of influencing them Just by being around that person you start to smell it's that person smells bad Just by accompanying that person walking around with that person sitting down with that person you start to smell So here I want to share with you something that I was I say to my kids it's very important for life There's a difference between a friend and a dower project Sahih we want to call people to good. We want to be influencers We want to influence people to do good and we have some friends who are not where they should be in terms of Practicing the Dean and we want to help them But there is a huge difference Between that person who is a dower project for you They're a target for your dower and the person that you took them as a close friend The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said al-mar'u ala deeni khalili Fal yanzur ahadukum man yukhalil A person is on the religion of their close friend. Let every one of you look at who you took as a close friend So when you make that person who's not practicing as much as you But you want to help them you want to be an influencer for that person and What you do is you actually start to be a sahib you accompany them you're with them you're around them and You don't see them as a dower project.
You see them as a friend now what's gonna happen is ultimately there will be a transfer across and You will get influenced by them because when you walk around with someone who smells bad eventually you will also smell bad, too So this is an important distinction because we want to influence people in a positive way We want to reach out to people We want people to hear the message but at the same time we don't want those people to influence us and The reality is that you're either a shepherd or you're either sheep That's it Some people are shepherds and some people are sheep So you have to ask yourself if my aim is to influence this person then my entire Relationship with this individual is based around me calling them To practice their deen and inviting them and the actions I'm taking are all based around that Whereas if this is to be a friend Then I'm gonna see myself getting involved in what they're involved in And I'm gonna see myself starting to get affected by what affects them and Then if you think about that The statement of Allah is a wajal waitha ra'ayta allatheena yahooduna fee ayatina faa aarid an hum Hata yahoodu fee hadithin ghayr Wa imma yunsiyannaka shaytanu fala taqood ba'da dhikra ma'al qawmin dhalimeen This ayah is fundamental about who you sit with and what they're doing If you see the people who are getting involved in and Speaking badly of the ayat of Allah or they're getting involved in sin or they're getting involved in haram you have to turn away from them until they engage in something else and If the shaytan makes you forget Do not sit after you remember with the wrongdoing people So there is a massive difference between someone you're reaching out to and You are trying to bring that person Your interaction every time you involve yourself with them. The purpose is just to reach out to them and Bring them closer But are you bringing them to you or you're going to them that's the first question So are you bringing them? To an environment, which is good I'm not saying you bring them to the to the halqa or to the masjid because that might be a step too far But you're bringing them into your environment Or you end up sitting with them in their environment Fala taqood ba'da dhikra ma'al qawmin dhalimeen Don't sit after you remember with the oppressive people Because ultimately when you sit with those people When you sit with those people you become one of them even if you are not in yourself one of them I Want to talk about Influence today No doubt social media plays a massive massive role Huge role in How people are influenced and some people think that's a new thing and it is in a way But it's not new in a way. All it does is it widens the amount of people that you see and what does it do? You can consume a massive amount of content from them.
You can get very strongly influenced by them and what they tell you and The algorithms that the social media tech companies use You know, they give you the content that you like right the more you watch something they give you stuff. That's like that and they Give you more and more of the same thing That in itself it is something that subhanAllah if you think about how a person is influenced and how much a Person is influenced by those around them. You have to ask yourself if you were to open your social media feed right now What kind of content do you see? What kind of people do you see? I mean, I'm no fan of social media.
Generally speaking, but what do you see if you what what does the algorithm think you are? Is it all? Islamic stuff from all speakers that are upon the Sunnah. Is that what the algorithm thinks of you, right? Or is it either a mix of those upon the Sunnah and those are not like how to blame Person picking firewood at night. He doesn't know if he's picking up wood or he's picking up a snake or he's picking up a scorpion Oh, he's picking up.
He doesn't know what he's picking up. He's just going around at night picking anything how to blame Or is it that your feed actually shows a different story? It shows Shia muharramah things that are haram Shows a person getting influenced by the non-muslims And there is a fundamental here principle in Islam Which is that our religion from the from the basic things that our religion came with is That our religion came with the concept of muharramah to ashab al-jaheem Being different from the people of jahannam That is something mentioned in surah al-fatiha Ihdina al-sirata al-mustaqeem Sirata al-ladheena an'amta alayhim ghayri al-maghdoobi alayhim wala al-dhaleem Oh Allah Put us on the straight path. Who is on the straight path? Fa'ulaika ma'al ladheena an'amallahu alayhim min al-nabiyyin wa al-siddiqeen wa al-shuhadaa wa al-saliheen Wa hasuna ulaika rafiqa The Prophets The Siddiqeen, the people who are the utmost in truth In terms of their belief, the truest in their belief The shuhadaa, the martyrs and the righteous and what an excellent group of companions they are For when you look around yourself, that is what you should see yourself consuming In terms of content, I don't mind if it's a book, if it's a video, if it is Whatever it is, whatever you're consuming, if the content you're consuming is Content related to al-nabiyyin wa al-siddiqeen wa al-shuhadaa wa al-saliheen The Prophets, the seerah of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam And the people who are the most truthful in their faith and in their speech And the people from the shuhadaa, the sahaba who Like Umar and Uthman and Ali radhiallahu anhum and those who follow them in good The saliheen, the righteous people If that is what you're consuming, then you are with those people Hasuna ulaika rafiqa, what an excellent group of companions they are Lakin if you see that you are consuming, especially day in day out Content that is coming from al-maghdhubi alaihim and al-dhaleen And al-maghdhubi alaihim are all those people who disobey Allah knowing that what they're doing is wrong And al-dhaleen are all those people who have no idea what they're doing Right or wrong And one of the things that is really scary about this is the amount of content we consume from non-Muslims That falls into the matters of the deen I'm not talking about a non-Muslim teaching you how to build a bridge Or teaching you for example, any mathematics That's problematic as it is, it would be better to learn from a Muslim But I'm talking about people here who are watching videos, following podcasts People of these non-Muslims who are lifestyle influencers and coaches And all that self-help, the self-help industry And they're consuming their content day in day out That these kuffar are gonna tell me how to live my life They're gonna tell me how to maximize my benefits They're gonna tell me how to achieve the good of this world This wallahi ikhwani is khatir, khatir, it's dangerous Because that person is not just giving you that content They're also giving you things where they're treading on the toes of what the Qur'an and the sunnah says So sahih sometimes you may have to take something from a non-Muslim In a very limited sense But what you can't do is to be a follower of those people who consumes their content day in day out You dip into something because you need it I need this person to tell me how to solve this equation I need this person to teach me how to put an ad on Google or YouTube or whatever But what I don't need this person to do is tell me how to live my life Because my deen tells me how to live my life And once you get into that person And sometimes people, the worst thing is that people think some of these guys are close to Islam And I'm not gonna name names, but we know them People are following them and consuming their content Thinking that this person is close to Islam And either this person is a kafir or this person is a fasiq Either they are not a Muslim or either they are a Muslim that is very far away from the deen That's so dangerous because they are giving you things that are overlapping what your religion tells you And they're telling you about how to live your life and your religion tells you how to live your life So this kind of secular mentality Where you say no no, I learned how to pray from the Qur'an But I learned how to make money from this kafir This is dangerous by Allah It's dangerous Occasionally there is no harm by the will of Allah A person knows their deen, they take some benefit on a small area like that But when they become a follower of that person I'm consuming everyday their content They're telling me about how to live my life and how to maximize my productivity And how to be like this and that But they're telling you a whole bunch of other stuff as well You've got to make sure that the people who are influencing you All of them are from the people described as being on the Siratul Mustaqim So your number one influence is the Prophet ﷺ لَقَدْ كَانَ لَكُمْ فِى رَسُولِ اللَّهِ أُسْوَةٌ حَسَنَةٌ You have in the Messenger of Allah ﷺ The best example to follow The best example And then after that to follow the example of the Prophets ﷺ And those that Allah guided أُولَئِكَ الَّذِينَ هَدَى اللَّهُ فَبِهُدَاهُ مُقْتَدِهُ Those are the people that Allah guided So take their guidance as your guidance The example of the Sahabah Those people that Allah said about them رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُمْ وَرَضُوْا عَنْهُمْ Allah is pleased with them and they are pleased with Him These are the role models that we need to have And really the job of the da'ia should only be to connect you to those people My job is not to be a role model for you My job is to connect you to take the Messenger ﷺ And the Sahabah as role models And Wallahi what amazing role models they are Every single area of success In the dunya and the akhira You can find it with these people And anything they didn't have Wallahi it's not worth having In any area, in any measure of success The Sahabah and those who followed them in good They had everything But we don't know our own heritage We became amazed by the kuffar We have an inferiority complex This comes down to Muslim identity We have an inferiority complex It amazes me when I travel to Muslim countries I haven't traveled to every single country But the Muslim countries I've traveled to Where people have such an inferiority complex when it comes to the kuffar They think that these guys are something else They wanna copy them and everything They wanna be like them And they believe themselves to be inferior Oh we don't have what these guys have In reality if you knew your heritage If you knew what Islam really had What the Sahabah had What the righteous people who followed had The empire that the Muslims had And what it brought to the world Wallahi you would never ever lower yourself down to learn from these people Never ever would you lower yourself and say to these people Rather, if you read I know we usually talk about Al-Andalus It's an interesting example There's a letter from the British King I think it was the King The British Monarch To the Khalifa in Al-Andalus And the thing that amazes me about this letter is He's literally begging him We need to benefit from you You people are so advanced And we're so miskeed It's a complete reversal to the situation that we're in today And I'm telling you now Al-Andalus was not the golden time of Islam The golden time of Islam was the time of the Sahabah And the Tabi'een Khairul qurooni qarni Thumma allatheena yaloonahum Thumma allatheena yaloonahum The best generation is my generation Then those who follow them and those who follow them That was the golden generation of Islam Yet we had a situation where People used to come to the Muslims and say We need to copy you guys We need to copy how you're doing things We need to learn from you We need you to influence us And now we got this inferiority complex Where we believe that we're inferior to these people There's a lesson in the statement of Allah Azzawajal رَبَّنَا هَبْلَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَاتِنَا قُرَّةَ عَعْيٌ وَجَعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا And it's the last part, that's the shahid وَجَعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا Make us leaders, examples for the mutakeen Make us those who influence other people Not those people who are influenced by others يَنِي مَيْكَزَنِ إِمَامٍ Who's an imam? في اللغة what's an imam? The imam is the one you copy Is it not right? The whole idea of the imam is The imam is the one who stands in front of you And you copy them So why are we asking Allah وَجَعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا Make us an imam for the mutakeen يَنِي مَيْكَزَنِ إِمَامٍ People who we are in front of the people Like an example of how to be And we're affecting those people And benefiting those people And influencing those people Something Shaykh al-Islam mentioned With regard to influence Something that Shaykh al-Islam mentioned رحمه الله تعالى And he mentions it in his amazing book اقتضاء الصراط المستقيم مخالفة أصحاب الجحيم That to be on the صراط المستقيم You have to be different From the people of the hellfire You have to completely Cut yourself off from them That's the principle of the book The premise of the book The book is built upon the idea That to be on the صراط المستقيم You have to cut yourself off from And distance yourself And oppose And be different from The people of the fire وَمَن تَشَبَّهَ بِقَوْمٍ فَهُوَ مِنْهُمْ Whoever resembles a people Is one of them The Prophet ﷺ said وَمَن تَشَبَّهَ بِقَوْمٍ فَهُوَ مِنْهُمْ Whoever resembles people Is one of those people That when you resemble them Shaykh of Islam tells us When you resemble them In your outward clothing This leads to a degree of resemblance On the inside The more you resemble them In the things that don't matter The more you will start to resemble them In the things that do matter So you start to resemble them In your clothing Now we're not saying that It's not allowed to wear You know Quote on quote The clothing that just Everyone in the world wears This different clothing That covers your aura And doesn't resemble the men with the women And the women with the men That's not something which is haram But you following fashion You know Someone is looking at these people These kuffar And looking at what they're wearing So I can wear like them Wallahi this person didn't do that Except because there's some degree of Mahabba in their heart for that person Some kind of love For that person And while it's very gentle at the beginning It's like okay I like that style It's the style of this time And this is the kind of clothing we should wear So that tomorrow it goes further And it goes deeper and deeper Who mentioned this? Shaykh al-Islam mentioned this Shaykh al-Islam ibn Taymiyyah mentioned it Rahim Allah Ta'ala All those years ago There was like 700 odd years ago That if you start to copy them In the little things That don't really matter that much Like the clothing, the way you speak How many of our young brothers Started to copy the kuffar In the way they speak The slang they use The way that they speak They start to copy them Tomorrow you'll copy them In something more than that And more than that And more than that So even And I'm not saying You can wear the clothing There's nothing wrong with wearing What's acceptable in your country And stuff like that And what people find to be comfortable What people find to be nice But sometimes brothers are spending money Sisters spending huge amount of money So they can wear the same thing As this kafir wears This kafir who in the sight of Allah Doesn't count for any single thing Not even the wing of a fly Nothing In the sight of Allah And now you want to Wear the clothing they wear And you wanna talk like they talk And you wanna do what they do How long will it be before You wanna believe like they believe If not you then your kids So you have to be very careful About getting influenced In the small things And like I said There's nothing wrong If you're going to the gym You don't have to wear Thawb and ghutrah To go to the gym You know it's not That's not what we're saying But be careful of being someone Who is Constantly trying to be on trend With regard to what the kuffar are upon And instead be your own person Be someone who You decide what you like And what you don't like And you're a person who Wants to influence other people And wallahi when you become that person You become an imam You become an imam in reality Because it's so rare To see someone who has A brain to think for themselves That as soon as you see someone like that That person becomes an imam For the people around them They think for themselves They make their own decisions Their friends say Come on let's go out and do this And it doesn't have to be haram It can just be a waste of time This is... Hi akhi I'm alright I'm good So rare to find somebody like that Because by default We go into the sheep mode Yeah yeah you're going Okay I'll come along And even if it's not for haram Even if it's for Wasting your time in the mubahat Yeah I'll come along Because you guys are coming along You guys are all going out to eat So I'm going to go out to eat You guys are all going to this place So I'm going to go to this place Start to think for yourself Do I actually want to do that? Is that actually what I want to do? Is that actually what's going to benefit me? And just try every now and again When it's something not important Just try saying I know what it is I'm going to skip it So you train yourself To actually think for yourself Instead of copying what other people are doing And just as we talked about Copying the kuffar Also copying the fasiqeen The muslims who are far away From practicing their religion Copying them in their The things that they do Following them on social media You only do that because There's a degree of love There's something there in your heart For those people So we want you to get rid of all of that And to replace it With love of the Prophet And the sahaba And the great imams of Islam That came in the golden generations of Islam And then to start to influence other people Now when you influence other people Influencing people from our perspective Is a kind of da'wa It's a kind of calling people to Islam And da'wa is ibadah Is it not? It is right? All of us agreed Da'wa is a kind of ibadah And al ibadah is what? Al ibadah is You do it how you're told to do it You don't pray 5 rakat Because you think it's a good idea You pray how the Prophet ﷺ prayed it The same way you don't give da'wa How you personally think is a good idea You give it the way the Prophet ﷺ gave it With the principles that Islam has given us for that So that bearing that in mind You wanna reach out and influence people That's not about you doing it the way that you feel Or like let me go down to their level Let me start talking like them And let me start behaving like them But I'm gonna give them the message of Islam Did the Prophet ﷺ do that? I'm not talking about specifics I'm talking about generally Did the Prophet ﷺ say I'm gonna behave exactly like Quraysh And sit around with them In the gatherings of the idol worship Which is every now and again I'll just tell them to worship Allah La wallahi didn't So that shouldn't be your da'wa either Your da'wa should be about people appreciating you As an individual As your own person As someone who's following something higher Uloowul himmah we spoke about it yesterday Uloowul himmah helps you to keep away from this whole idea Of being influenced by other people Because I wanna ask you a question The greatest people in history Islamically or even if you look at what the kuffar think about The great leaders of history Were those people who Were they people who influenced people Or they were influenced by people They were influencers They were people who influenced other people They were people who had a mind of their own Generally speaking So if you now have uloowul himmah You wanna do something for this ummah You wanna make a change that's gonna Send ripples around the whole Muslim world You have high aspirations, lofty goals So to have that You have to be your own person And that uloowul himmah will keep you away from Following other people Because you see what this guy is interested in is His dream in life is to own his own house And drive a fast car Really? Like that is the ghaya of what you could think of doing with your life? I know Sheikh Saadid spoke to you about this That was the max you could really think like that's That will make you happy Million, ten million, twenty million, fifty million That's a number that will make you You've achieved something Ah wallah you haven't achieved anything If you die tomorrow nobody will even know your name In nothing you achieve zero If you have high aspirations to actually make a difference in this world Then you're gonna keep away from being influenced by By those people And you're gonna break through that barrier of feeling like you've been left out Because you've got a goal that is bigger than their goal And I give examples of that It's an example I use a lot And if you think about someone who takes their fitness Seriously And I'm saying that because the brothers know Some of the brothers take their fitness very seriously Why is it when everyone else is eating pizza and chocolate and cakes This guy is sat there with a chicken breast and salad And he can do that He can actually do that while everyone is Eating whatever they want and enjoying themselves And he's there just like Eating his chicken breast and salad Why? Because he's got a goal in his mind That overrides the goal that these people have It matters more than what these guys have So if you have a goal And the human nature is If you have a goal which is greater than What these people are doing Then that goal is gonna drive you not to feel like you're being left out Because you have a motivation which is greater And the motivation is الفردوس الأعلى من الجنة إذا سألتم الله الجنة فسألوه الفردوس If you ask Allah for Jannah, ask him for الفردوس So so much of being influenced Comes down to a lack of having high aspirations And a goal in life That is something more than just accumulating وَهُوَ خَيْرٌ مِّمَّا يَجْمَعُونَ It's better than all the wealth that they accumulate And here especially And soon I'm gonna go to you guys I wanna hear from you InshaAllah Because I'm tired of talking but I wanted to set out some principles Before we get into the discussion The Prophet ﷺ, two hadith I want you to really think about المرء على دين خليله Who is the Khalil? The Khalil is your very very best friend So before you start evaluating Whether you're being influenced Or you're influencing others I want you to think about Your very very best friend Maybe more than one Nobody said it has to be just one But the person who is your Closest closest closest friend Out of everybody Ideally that person should be Better than you in the deen That's what you want And I've always had that as a principle I want the person that is the Closest person to me To be better than me Have more taqwa than me More knowledge than me More efforts to worship Allah than me And I don't وَلَا أُزَكِّي عَلَى اللَّهِ أَحَدًا I don't say anyone is pure in the sight of Allah But I want that to be that type of person So I sit with that person And I feel like I'm not doing enough And I push And then they see me pushing And they push ahead And they go even further ahead And then I'm racing to catch them up Or is your khalil Your very very closest friend Is that someone from the deen perspective They're just They're not there So my suggestion is That you take a khalil Who is better than you In what you can see And Allah knows the reality of people And Allah knows the reality of how people will end up But somebody who really is better than you Who drives you to more and more and more And then that doesn't stop you having your friends Your other friends You've got some friends, acquaintances, people you meet You've also got some dawah projects No problem You've got some people that you're just You know you spend time with them To try and bring them to the deen But who is the person Who is the one person That is the closest person to you And that person ideally should be someone who is Better than you are And the statement of the Prophet ﷺ المرء مع من أحب A person will be with those that they love And a person is And he also is with those that they love So the people you spend A significant amount of time with On social media, on or off I don't mind The hadith is general The people you follow the most The people you consume their content the most The people you watch them the most The people you spend time with them the most The people you go out with them the most Whichever it is They're the people that you love So if you're looking at that and seeing All kuffar or fusaq or People who are anyways not interested in the deen And not driving you forward حتى even among the du'ats The du'ats are not on one level The callers to the sunnah Are not on one level So you see yourself with the studious da'ia Who is teaching you books and Benefiting you with fawaid You're gonna become like that person You've got a love for that But if you're always just watching these like Heart softeners and You know five minute benefit Five minute I say five minute Thirty second Thirty second benefits In the end of the day you're gonna be a Thirty second benefit muslim Like the max you can benefit anyone is for Sixty seconds Because that's all you ever watch You just consume shorts You know like just everything is A few seconds long And that person you Who you are following Who you're spending time with That's what you love And you can change yourself in a positive way By changing that Change the algorithm And you make the algorithm realize Not that I personally don't think You spend any time on it but The concept of If this algorithm was to look at me It's gonna choose It's gonna see a different person today It's gonna see somebody who is Dedicated to some A goal that is way above the other people What did we say yesterday تنقاطع دونك آمال الرجال People's vision and dream of what they can be You exceed what people dream of You're better than what people dream of being Let alone what people are So that person who's got this lofty goal And working towards it The algorithm is gonna change They're not gonna give you this like Ten second stuff anymore Someone might say Why are you putting out so many of these Ten second videos then That's my project And I personally don't manage my own social media As anyone who knows me knows I do not even log on to it Do not know anything about it Do not look at it I've got brothers Who do that for me And I want them to reach out I want people to see content upon the sunnah I want people to be called But do I want the To be flicking through 30 second clips No I don't I want that person to have a goal That is bigger than that And it's shocking how you can influence people I remember A time In terms of talib ul ilm I remember a time where as a da'ia Nobody wanted people to teach books I would be called to masjid after masjid And nobody, no one Wanted anyone to teach them a book A book Just give the people a talk Raise their iman Make them feel good about themselves Let them go out of the door And that's all we need That's what they wanted Some brothers came From the dua'at Who were Strong students of knowledge And they started teaching the people books People books against all the fashion They went against all the trend Nobody wanted it And now look at the da'wah scene in the UK You can't do a conference Without people teaching Books one side or the other And mashayikh coming and people want to get ijazat And they want to finish things and they want to study And they want to memorize Because we changed the trend Not me but those people Who came against all the trend And they sat down and they started teaching people What people should be doing And now people are not so interested In the Iman boosters and the 5 minute reminders And all of that That's a part of your da'wah but that's not the main part of your da'wah anymore المرء مع من أحب You are with And you will be with يوم القيامة The person that you love There's a لذة There's a pleasure In spending time with Good people الشافعي رحمه الله تعالى He said لول القيام بالأسحار وصحبة الأخيار مخترت البقاء في هذه الدار He said if it wasn't for Standing to pray at night And the Accompanying the righteous people I wouldn't Wish to stay in this world another day So there's A certain enjoyment And right now I know it's hard If you're spending time with people that are not Good for you You feel like I'll never get that Enjoyment back And what we're doing now I will never be able to get What I have with my friends now Wallahi you're going to get far better Spending time With people who are Righteous people, good people Wallahi it has A pleasure like الشافعي said If it wasn't for standing in prayer at night And being around these people I wouldn't want to stay in this world Another day I wouldn't want to stay in this world Another day Rather From the things that you can start with If a person said where can I start And maybe I'll finish with this A person said where can I start Perhaps you Start with Dua The Prophet ﷺ Used to say اللهم إني عوذ بك من يوم السوء اللهم إني عوذ بك من يوم السوء ومن ليلة السوء ومن ساعة السوء ومن ليلة السوء ومن ساعة السوء ومن صاحب السوء ومن جار السوء في دار المقامة He used to say ومن ليلة السوء ومن ساعة السوء ومن صاحب السوء ومن جار السوء Or a bad companion And a bad neighbor A person starts By By making Dua To Allah ﷻ By making small changes person says look how do I go from this to what you're telling me it's too much for me small changes start by saying no a few times while I one of the great things great skills you can learn is the art of saying no the ability to say to people it's a very small thing it's one it's probably there's not many words in the English language smaller than the word no hatta in Arabic la but wallah he is so hard to say when people are pushing you and influencing you for you to be able to turn around say to somebody now it's okay to say no it's very very hard for a person to learn and it's a habit you have to train yourself a few times you get it wrong and then over time you learn to say to someone now I've got something else I want to do but those are a few points I wanted to make but really this is a topic that needs it needs participation from the audience sarah Hatton because it's a topic that you guys are living day in day out whatever situation you're in from the best of the toll of the name to the one who is struggling the most out of us all of us are living through this we're either influencing others or we're being influenced but I want to hear from you guys questions thoughts comments for why it earlier you said you want your best friend to be someone ideally that's better in the Dean than you did you mean to say that you know you want your best friend to be someone who inspires you kind of like an iron sharpens iron yeah definitely you want your best friend to be someone who drives you to be better and that's and if they are if they are struggling in their Dean it's gonna be very hard for them to inspire you to drive yourself to a level beyond where you are right now let's take the best person in this whole room you one of you sit in here Allah knows the person with the soundest heart that person has got so much to learn so much to so much they need to do so much they need to grow so much they need to turn back to Allah they need someone who they look at and say I want to be like this person so it drives them if you look at the Sahaba and their companionship of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam and their companionship after that of Abu Bakr and Omar and Uthman and Ali they want to be around the people that inspire you you look at them look at what Omar said Omar the closest person he was to after the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam was to Abu Bakr what did he say I will never be able to compete with Abu Bakr I can never compete with Abu Bakr any whatever I do I bring half of my wealth Abu Bakr I left for them Allah and his messenger I've given all my wealth away and he's someone who every time you try to race them they race ahead of you now a person may say not everyone can find someone better that's true but at least what you can do is find someone who races you and you step ahead of them they step ahead of you you step ahead of them they step ahead of you Wasabikoo ila maghfiraatim min rabbikum race each other wafidhalika fal yatanafasil mutanafisoon let people compete with each other not in the dunya but you've got a friend who's two steps ahead of you then you're two steps ahead of him then he's two steps ahead of you then you're two steps ahead of him you're racing each other that's also any praiseworthy characteristic to have and Allah Azzawajal knows best JazakAllah khair Sheikh my question was in today's age we have a lot of maybe women that and men as well they have a family that are not so practicing and cousins and sisters and brothers how do they manage these relationships and position themselves in a way to give dawah to their family but still upholding the ties without them being influenced and then turned into a positive influencer definitely very very important so no doubt many many of us have relatives you know even close friends from before whatever that are not practicing the way that we would want and we want to influence them but if it's relatives and people around you how do you stop yourself from being influenced by them so there's a couple of things you need to keep in mind the first thing you need to keep in mind is this is the principle we brought from the ayah you don't want to be sitting around while people are doing haram they're backbiting and you're just sitting there with a smile on your face that's not how it has to be either get up and leave either say so if you can say something to them say to them some people misunderstand this hadith the last part if you're not able to then hate it in your heart hating in your heart has actions associated with it it's not just oh I don't like that they're backbiting it's actually let me get up and leave because I hate this I can't stop it and I can't say anything about it but I can get up and leave I hate it and that's why if somebody that's why I have a problem when people say oh I hate this but they're still mixing with it and involving themselves with it that's the first thing the second principle you're gonna need is the principle that you need to deal with them according to the rules of sila of keeping ties with your relatives that exist in the Quran so you cannot cut off from your sister or your brother you cannot cut off from your cousins you have to have a degree of sila with them but the principle is that Islam doesn't define what sila is like it doesn't say to you sila means you have to sit with them every day for five hours a day it means that they have to feel like you're connected to them so that might mean that there's times when you have to spend time with them and so on but you choose your times because Islam came to achieve good or to increase it and to remove evil or decrease it you can't change your parents you can't change your children you can't change your siblings you can't change your near relatives or your far relatives you can't but what you can do is to manage the relationship with them in such a way that the positives are stacked on your side so that is increasing when you can't get a hundred percent good that all my relatives are righteous at least increase the good as much as you can and if you think of it as a dawah project so you're gonna think about the way you interact with them being different it's not just about like spending time with them or you know just being with them for the sake of it but every time you interact with them you're thinking how can I interact with this person in a way that will bring them towards good and sometimes that doesn't have to be direct dawah it can be indirect but there's a principle with indirect dawah it's important indirect dawah should never be the only dawah that you do and I believe this deserves to be a kaida in the sharia indirect dawah should never ever be the only dawah that you do meaning that I'm really nice to my mom I'm really nice to my dad but I never tell them and sit them and say to them mom look this thing it's not good Allah bless you we've got to try to change you have to at some point have something direct but you choose your time for it the best time udu'u ila sabili rabbika bil hikmah wal mu'idhati al hasana wa jadilhum billatihi ahsan so you have to have hikmah when do I talk when do I stay silent but ultimately if you are still keeping ties with them in the best way you can to maximize the benefit and minimize the harm so for example you know there's days where they're doing all kinds of haram and there's times when they're not so you're around them at certain times and you might decide to be a bit busy at other times and you're actually taking at some point or another time to speak to people directly as well as doing indirect dawah and every time you engage with those people you're thinking about how can I be a positive influence on them to bring them to good and you're constantly evaluating am I sitting after I know with the oppressive people and am I going against the ayah am I end up finding myself sitting in a gathering everyone's just backbiting everybody else and I'm just sat there with a smile on my face well then then you have to evaluate what put me in that situation and how can I avoid it next time biidhnillahi ta'ala and dua for them wallahi dua for them and wanting good Allah azzawajal said harisun alaykum bil mu'mineena raoofur rahim every da'ia should be like that if you're not like that wallahi you don't really you're not really a da'ia a messenger has come to you from yourselves it hurts him to see you going through difficulty and you see your relatives suffering your cousins not doing the right thing your friends not doing the right it hurts you to see them like that you want good for them you really want the best for those people la yu'minu ahadukum hatta yuhibbali akhihi ma yuhibbuli nafsih none of you truly believe till you love for your brother what you love for yourself and you're raoofun rahim with them kind with them and merciful with them so they're gonna make mistakes they're gonna infringe your rights they're gonna sometimes say things to you but all they see from you is kindness mercy and gentleness and care and dua for them perhaps Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala will place in their heart one day a situation where they'll remember your direct dawah and your indirect dawah to them bi izni Allahi ta'ala but you mustn't find a situation where you find yourself just being influenced by them completely then you need to re-evaluate because what's happening is the negatives are being stacked up against you and the positives are not so you need to look at how can I change the dynamics so that I visit at different times or I spend times with them at different times or you know there's certain things that I avoid or certain topics we don't discuss together because we know it's gonna start any of the negatives and Allah azzawajal knows best maybe brothers have to put your hands up again if you have a question because this is still an amalakhal kareem Jazakallah khair sheikh I was gonna ask regarding the podcast and taking from people that are not necessarily Muslims when it comes to subjects of matters such as for example tax or business and could you sort of indulge or like watch that and sort of take from those kind of you know disciplines I want to I want to help you with that it's a brilliant question and I want to set a couple of rules if you follow those rules you'll be okay rule number one learn your deen properly because if you don't know what Islam says about business and then you want to go and have John and David tell you how to do business what's that and you don't know what your own religion tells you so he's gonna tell you you know what you need to do is leverage the benefit of interest and you know what I mean like you have to know what your own deen is that's the first one the second one is if you can find a Muslim who will teach that to you take from them had to even if in Islam they are not necessarily everywhere they should be but the best you can find because it's the same as learning from the mufti and all that mess a lot of learning from the innovator and the first year can everything that ideally if you can find a Muslim to do it that's what you want to do so more a dunya we're talking about not the deen you want to you want to find the best person that you can because you're gonna absorb some of their akhlaq they're at their ethics their etiquettes and so on and number three is be very selective don't listen to everything they put out look at the topics they're talking about look at the show notes or whatever and take the parts that you specifically need rather than the whole thing and number four be critical of what you hear ask yourself how could this be haram or look for something in Islam to support it because you might actually go through it and someone says you know in this podcast we're going to talk about how to that your time is the most valuable thing you have and time is more valuable than money type does Islam support that or not it does well ask you know insanity course Islam supports the concept that time is more valuable than money so if you're listening to a podcast I mean first of all you should have really taken that from Islam because it's already there but even if you heard someone say you know like the key to life is that you need to prioritize your time over your money that's an Islamic concept but when they say something else you need to like for example someone says look the key thing you need to do is clear your debt is that Islamically acceptable or not it's true and the prophets I said went through a time where he didn't pray janazah over the person who had debt so the first thing is if you can get it in Islam get it in Islam learn your Dean try to take it from a Muslim if you can be critical of what you hear and only take what you really need like what is you absolutely need otherwise honestly you can't imagine how much of an effect a teacher has upon a student after your parents no one has more effect on you than your teacher that's the reality especially the teacher you're close to the one you take from a lot so you're gonna start talking like them thinking like them you're gonna start having ethics like them morals like them you're gonna start finding funny what they find funny and you know their sense of humor all of that is problematic when it comes to the far but otherwise taking from them in a limited sense yeah sometimes there's things you want to know sometimes I look at no productivity is a big thing for me I want to maximize my productivity I want to be able to get as much benefit out of my time as possible and sometimes the non-muslims might have a podcast or a system or a book that talks about productivity but I read it with a very critical eye so I'm reading it and thinking that might be against Islam that might okay that's supported by Islam and it might just be something that has nothing to do with the Dean at all like it's just you know how to color code your inbox or something that's not a problem but I don't want to know his religious beliefs along with how to color code your inbox and I just want him to teach me how to color code my inbox for maximum productivity but I don't want him to like teach me his thoughts on life or what you should do in your free time or anything like that so with the thing that concerns me is when people don't have those those limits and they're consuming that content all the time a podcast after podcast and newsletter and you know article after article and there's no filter for that person then there is no doubt that person will end up taking on board some of the characteristics and like she had Islam said when you start following them in little things you will end up in the end of the day following them in the bigger things after that we'll get putting the microphones there so what would your advice be for someone at uni or maybe school so it becomes general and everyone can relate sometimes one can have a friend that's not as practicing and he tries to help him but then he notices that he stays a bit in his ways and starts to affect you know how should he go about it if they see each other every day that if he avoids him now it might make him feel something in his heart and stuff like that so first of all my advice to you if there's any way you can avoid going to those places that's what you should do if you can be homeschooled if you can go to a any Islamic school or a madrasa if there's any way that you can avoid going to or putting your kids into any school Wallahi even Muslim school and if there's any way you can avoid it then I believe that's what is obligatory upon you to do and I don't use that word lightly I believe it's obligatory upon you to do it if you can avoid it because I don't know of any way that is putting our kids faster onto the path of Jahannam than the schooling system so if there's any way you can avoid it otherwise it's Akal Maitah you're eating the dead animal you just do what you have to do even uni if there's any way you can avoid that whole uni life and if there's any way you can avoid it avoid it but if you can't avoid it for whatever reason then Fattaqullaha Mastataatum now comes to the point the point of the question which is the issue of you've got someone that you're trying distance from them and distancing from them can be difficult when you see them every day so here is the issue of what they talk about the frog in hot water right they talk about not a nice topic when they want to boil a frog alive right they don't drop the frog into boiling hot water what they do is they put it in cold water and they let the heat rise gradually so that's what you have to do instead of like going to that person I've got nothing to do with you Ana Bari Oumink Iyaka Ani get out of my face I want to see you again is you just start to slowly distance yourself from them bit by bit day by day starting with the worst things some people you would I mean some people are so bad you have to tell them that but if it's not that bad you just start to distance yourself you just start to say no a bit more often the first couple of weeks you say no like 20% of the time then 30% of the time then 40% of the time and the person naturally just separates from you and it's not like it doesn't have to be something drastic and extreme like that that is if you see good in that if you see the person is just a person of evil then sometimes it's better to just have a short sharp break and I give an example relationships you know boyfriend and girlfriend and what have you my honest advice wallahi nasiha from me to the people in that situation don't try the approach I just mentioned short sharp shock pick the phone say I'm sorry it's over full stop send the message trust me she'll cry for well probably she will maybe she won't cry presumably she'll cry for any half a day and she'll forget you but when you draw it out like that it hurts you it hurts the other person you earn sin for every single day that you're drawing it out and the Shaitaan is constantly telling you don't do it don't do it you could marry her in the end so that's an example not to do that just short sharp shock I'm sorry I've been thinking I have to change my direction in life finish some friends are like that as well like some people are just so there's so much harm in the relationship between you and them that you have no choice but to cut it and cut it like instantly but often with friends especially if you can just choose to avoid the worst things and little bit by little bit you just distance yourself more and more and the person just sees it as naturally you know they say oh we grew apart you know we just went in different directions but always your hand is open to that person right that friend to come actually you know come back to the Dean so they see they don't see you as being a person who one of the worst things you can do is to climb on your ivory tower yeah don't you remember where you were yesterday don't you remember yesterday you were doing the things what that guy is doing and now you stood up on your ivory tower saying to him that yeah yeah you cut off from that person you don't give them any chance to reach you and you belittle them and all of that and you don't you remember where you were yesterday if you do then you have to have your hand has to be outstretched for that person but they have to come to you in the sense that you can't go to do what they're doing but they have to take a step towards what you're doing but they know the doors always open you know they you they never feel like you have like your what's the word you're cutting off from them in a way that you want bad for them and you want to just you know you want to keep the good for yourself only and that's one of the beautiful things about Islam we don't keep the good only to ourselves we want to share it with everybody and if your brother goes to jahannam it doesn't make your space in Jannah any bigger and it doesn't make you get higher space but if your brother goes to Jannah because of Allah and then you then your space in Jannah gets bigger right so the more people you invite the better you get the more you get in Jannah it's not like this world where the more people you invite the less space you have the more people you invite the more you get so you want to invite as many people as possible is it true that sometimes a person might have to distance themselves with that short sharp shock and then come back to their friends later yeah especially if it's something which their friends doing which is like for example addictions like drugs and things like that yeah you sometimes have to separate yourself with a short sharp shock you can't say to them look I'm gonna sit around with you guys but I'm not gonna take anything and like it doesn't really work like that but then later could you be in a stage where you might be able to go to that person and bring them out yeah you could but you might have to strengthen yourself first because Allah Azzawajal said save yourself first and then save then save your family from a fire that's fuels whose fuel is men and stones so you start with yourself first and then you start with your your friends Now I'm going to ask this brother here who put his hand from a long time yeah Jazakumullah Khairan, Assalamualaikum Waalaikumussalam for my question there's lots of angles to look at but it's especially related to the last sentence you said with saving yourself first before you save others whether you're a layman or you want to become a Talibul Inj should our main goal be to make hijrah since we're talking about all the influences a lot of it comes from us living out here in the But if you've strengthened your aman, should it be then to look at your family, your friends and everyone else who, a majority in my case, do live here, or would it be when you can or inshallah you're able to, to go to a country where the influences push you more towards your deen? Jamil, wallahi it's a very very good question and I totally agree with you that living among the non-Muslims is a massive influence because an influence you can't switch it off.
You can unsubscribe from a channel, you know, like you can unfollow someone but you can't like unfollow the place where you live, you know, like that's, that's really important. I think that the answer to this is actually in a way both things and I'll explain how inshallah ta'ala. The first thing is that while you're here, presuming that hijrah is not possible for you today, it takes time to organise, while you're here do all the good you can for your family, for your friends, for your society, do all the good you can while you're here.
If the opportunity comes for you to make hijrah and this becomes an obligation upon you and especially if you can manage the issue of your parents particularly more than anything, then I think that that's what you should do because you go for yourself first. You can't be a doctor who cures a patient if you yourself are sick. You go for that first.
But at the same time that doesn't mean you cut off from your, from the place that you've gone from. Instead you keep ties with people, you continue to benefit them, you continue to raise a new generation of people who benefit their community and their society. That's why the people who go away and go and live in a Muslim country, we're not going to leave the community that's here in the UK.
Because the vast majority of people are not going to leave today even if they were forced to and even if this whole, these whole riots and everything just became the mainstream and it was every day, the vast majority of Muslims would not be able to leave even if they wanted to leave. So we have to make the best of what we can while we're here but at the same time the intention of leaving is very important for those who are able to do it, just to have that intention that, yeah I want to get myself and my family and my kids out of this. But for some people it might be a case that I can't go by myself, I need to take my parents with me.
And so that's a little bit extra complication and while you're here you do the very, very best that you can to benefit people. What saddens me a little bit are the people who make hijrah and don't really look at that aspect. Like they don't, they don't look at, I mean neither the benefit to themselves, their family, their community, what they've left behind, it's just like I'm just going to go get a job somewhere.
That's, I mean, alhamdulillah, at least the person did something for themselves but it would be better if you looked at your community and you did the most you can for people now and you helped as much as you possibly can. And then when the time comes that Allah makes it easy for you to leave and go to a place where the influences are much better, alhamdulillah. But even inside of the UK, even inside of London, not every area is the same, not every street is the same, not every community is the same, not every masjid is the same.
And I'm talking about masajid upon the sunnah, I'm not talking about masajid ahl al bid'ah, the masajid upon the sunnah, they're not all the same in terms of the environment and the positive influences and the positive peer pressure, they're not all the same. So a person might say before I even move abroad, the first thing I'm going to do is move out of the street then I'm into a different street where there's some more positive influence, I'm closer to a masjid where there's a nice environment and there's a positive influence in that masjid. That's a step.
Or from one city to another city. And then from one country to another country. And also my advice about hijrah is honestly, you need to do your research.
Too many people do hijrah blind. Like I'm just going to turn up in the UAE for my hijrah. And there they turn up.
And they end up living where? Right among the kuffar who are sometimes doing more, in terms of the fitna could be stronger for them and they're living right among them because they haven't done their research, they don't know where they should be based, where they should be staying, they don't know what the place is like, they don't know what the cost of living is like. So you see them go there, get corrupted because of them not doing their research properly and then come back to the UK because they couldn't afford it in the end and they end up in a worse situation. So you do have to do your research a bit.
Where am I going? What's it going to be like? Maybe visit if I can. And if it isn't Allah Ta'ala, that kind of thing. So a person thinks about it.
So your hijrah will be more of a long term hijrah than a, you know, temporary hijrah and it will bring you benefit rather than harm. Because we know that the Muslim countries have some harms in them that need to be managed. And it doesn't mean you avoid those countries, not at all, but you just need to manage that harm, reduce it and make sure you know where it's coming from and things like that.
And Allah Azza wa Jalla knows best. I just want to take maybe another couple of minutes because I want to give the brothers a chance to actually have a break and also for Shaykh to start his talk as well. Because I know Shaykh Abdul Rahman's talks are intense, right? So you guys are going to definitely need a break before that.
There was, Habibi did you still have a question because you had, yeah. Yeah, Bismillah, Tafakkur. As-salamu alaykum brothers.
As-salamu alaykum brothers. We had a lot of questions but Shaykh said no comments. So this is something I've seen in my personal life.
So I will say, here in the West and in general, a lot of us have this notion of going along with everything, accepting everything, it's how people like you, etc. But I saw something really amazing and it reminded me of what Ustad here was saying yesterday. So this brother, right, he's very keen on staying away from music, very, very keen.
And he didn't impose it too much on other people. But when he sat in somebody else's car, that person just didn't play music anymore. They played in a sheed and, you know, that's a little, you know, it was vocals only, so that's an improvement.
But simply because of him attending to himself and keeping that commitment to himself, I think Ustad here called it a haybah or some sort of presence, you know, that spewed out and it created a standard for other people. So that's something I realized that we should never buckle for other people because it's only going to lead to good. That's my... That's an amazing... I completely support what you said.
Wallahi, it's a very, very good comment. And also, you have to remember something which will help you a lot in being influenced. And I wanted to mention this in the talk, but it came to my mind now.
It's the statement of Allah Azza wa Jal. Innama nuta'imukum li wajhihillah, la nuridu minkum jaza'an wa la shukura. We only feed you for the sake of Allah.
We don't want any reward and any thanks. One of the things that really makes people get influenced by other people is expecting some kind of recognition from the people around you and craving their approval of what you do. Whereas, when you care about what is with Allah and you want Allah to love you and you want Allah to reward you, you certainly don't care as much about what people think.
And you're like, look, whether you like what I'm doing or you don't like what I'm doing. And the reality is that if a person acts in a way that brings Allah's pleasure, then not only will Allah be pleased with them, but Allah Azza wa Jal will make the people ultimately pleased with them. And from this is the statement of Allah Azza wa Jal, Inna allatheena aamanu wa aamilu as-salihaat sa yaja'alu lahumu ar-rahmanu wudda.
Allah will place love in the hearts of the people for them. And if a person makes the pleasure of the people their goal, they'll never ever be satisfied. They'll always be miserable.
And not only will the people not accept you, but you'll earn the anger of Allah. And trust me, both of those two things come. When you try to please people, two things come.
Number one, the anger of Allah. And number two, the people will never be happy with you. Like we see these people who try to blend in with the non-Muslims to their maximum effect.
They change their name, their clothing, the way they speak. They would change anything to be like those people. Lakin saraaha, do those non-Muslims ever accept you? La wallahi, they know exactly who you are.
And they never ever accept you. Walanta arraa'ankal yahoodu walal nasara hatta tattabiAAa millatahum. The Jews and Christians will never be pleased with you until you follow their religion.
So until you leave your religion completely, they will never ever be happy. And even when you leave your religion completely, walAAiyaadhu billah, many times they're still not happy with you. So keep that in mind.
I'm not waiting for recognition. I don't want someone to say to me, well done, jazakallahu khayran, I benefited, thank you so much. innama nu'tu'imukum li wajhil laa, laa nuridu minkum jazaamu laa shukoor.
It's a mentality. I don't want anything from people. I don't want their recognition, positive or negative.
If a person knows themselves, the praise of the people and the criticism of the people doesn't really influence them to that extent. And Allah azawajal knows best. I just wanted to take one last one and then I'll close with a few small comments inshaAllah ta'ala.
And then inshaAllah ta'ala we'll give you guys a little break before Sheikh Abdul Rahman comes. Ahsanallah alaik ya sheikh. Walaikum assalam.
My question kind of combines the previous questions in a sense, but adds a twist to it and it relates to children. How can we ensure that the children or the future generations are influenced correctly without feeling like they're missing out on all these different things where a lot of the education that exists or that is available readily, whereas YouTube or other than that, going back to what you mentioned about the algorithms, how can we make best use and benefit our children to be influenced in the right way rather than the wrong? It's a really amazing question. So the first thing is that start as young as you can.
That's the first principle. I mean, I'm talking about day one, like when the child is born. Don't let that child be around people who are a bad influence on them.
If you start it when the child is young, the child will never know what they're missing out on. The difficulty is when you take a 15, 16 year old child and you tell them, you know, all the friends I've let you have for the last 16 years, you can't have those friends anymore. It's very hard for them.
It's not impossible, but it's hard. Whereas if you start very young, you start as you mean to go on. That's the first thing.
The second thing is, as we said, Islam came to achieve good and increase it and to remove evil and decrease it. So wherever you can increase the positive influences on your child, whether it's what they watch, whether it's who they spend time with, whether it is their educational environment, whatever you can do to improve that, improve it. Whatever you can do to remove a negative influence, remove it.
The third thing is, the greatest influence on a child, always, hatta even when they become older, is going to be their parents. So make sure that the first positive influence on that child is, is their parents. Now just going back to what I said earlier when I said about start young.
For example, a lot of people will let their children listen to musical toys as a baby. But they won't let them listen to like music as a teenager. That's a problem, wallahi, because you're starting them off wrong.
There's the doctors who speak about the development of children's brains. Those who do the child psychology. They talk about how children form the majority of their likes and dislikes in I think the first three years, something like that, of their life.
And in the first three to five years of their life, this child is going to decide 80 to 90% of what they like or don't like is going to be decided in the first three years of their life. So if that first years, those first years are good, then inshaAllah ta'ala that child is going to, is going to go the right way. Also something I benefited, I was talking to Shaykh Abdur Rahman about it.
And he mentioned the fa'idah, wallahi, it stuck with me, wallahi, it stuck with me really, like stuck in my head. With regard to the statement of Allah Azza wa Jal, وَالَّذِينَ إِذَا فَاعَلُوا فَاحِشَةً أَوْ ظَلَمُوا أَنفُسَهُمْ ذَكَرُوا اللَّهَ فَاسْتَغْفَرُوا لِذُنُوبِهِمْ Those people who when they do a filthy, immoral act, or they oppress themselves, they remember Allah and they seek forgiveness for their sins. I'm just, I'm going to paraphrase, you can ask Shaykh to quote it exactly, but what he said is the reason they do istighfar is because they have a prior relationship with Allah before they did the fahisha.
And before they fell into the haram, they already had a good relationship with Allah, 5 years old, 6 years old, 7 years old, 8 years old, 10 years old, 12 years old, still the haram is not pulling them that strong. And they had a good relationship with Allah, they knew how to make tawbah, they knew how to pray, they knew how to read the Quran, they knew how to make istighfar, all of that. When they fall into a big mistake, insha'Allah ta'ala they'll come back.
And we fear for them, but insha'Allah ta'ala they'll come back. Because there's something built before they fell into that. As for the one who never built that relationship with Allah, إِن تَعَرَّفَ عَلَى اللَّهِ فِي الرَّخَاءِ عَرِفْكَ فِي شِدَّةٍ Come to know Allah when things are easy, and Allah will be there for you when things are difficult.
So one of the things you can do for your children is, set them off on the right foot, whatever age they're at. Generally speaking, the early years of the child, and you start them off on the right foot, the middle years of the child, sort of your 7 until puberty kind of age, you really have to teach them what's right and wrong. Because they're at an age where they know what's right and wrong, like in the sense that they know this is wrong, this is not good.
So you have to teach them who's good and who isn't. 6 years old, 7 years old, 8 years old, 9 years old, 10 years old, they're still at an age where you have influence over them. And they're at an age where they can understand what's right and wrong.
So this is the age of ta'adeeb, disciplining them and teaching them what's right and wrong. Not the age of letting them go and play with the kuffar and spend time with them and all of that. Then as they hit puberty and they become an adult for themselves, now it's about more to do with slow and gentle course correction, any guidance, advice, trying to influence them as much as you can.
But a lot of the work that you do in that early stage, that's where it pays off. And it's true that children don't like to be told who to spend time with. So what you have to do is you have to kind of engineer situations where they are, spending time with the right people.
For example, if I bring my kids to the masjid to a dawrah, if they're able to sit nicely and listen, and they start mixing with some of the kids, they go out and play, but what's the expectation is they're going to be with inshaAllah ta'ala good people. That's without me saying, play with that child. Like, I didn't need to say that to them.
But they actually got it because of the people that I'm constantly putting them in situations where the people around them are the kind of people that I want them to spend time with. And the situations where I don't want them to spend time with, I'm constantly blocking the road. So as they get older, like, Dad, can I go out with this guy? No.
Can I just spend an extra hour? No. But if he's a sahib khair, he's a person of good, yeah, you can spend an extra hour with him. Yeah, sure, you can go and spend a weekend and go to this different city and go attend this conference.
So I'm going to facilitate everything I can to build positive influences around them and take away everything I can from the negative ones. And that's a very brief overview to a very complicated question. That's what Allah azza wa jal made easy for me to mention.
I know we're not finished yet. We still have, not only you have Sheikh Abdul Rahman's talk today, but also you have, bi-izni Allah ta'ala, the program tomorrow as well. But I really, really, wallahi, appreciate all of you who came.
We ask Allah azza wa jal to make it heavy on the scale of your good deeds. And you have to remember that it's easy to listen, but it's hard to do. So putting into practice what we hear, for me and for you, is the most important thing.
And insha'Allah ta'ala you guys will be here tomorrow for the panel and the closing comments and everything. But I just wanted to say I really appreciated you guys, how you listened and took notes, and the questions that were asked were very, very good. So I ask Allah subhana wa ta'ala to bless you all with the best of this world and the next.
And I ask Allah azza wa jal as He gathered us here today in this masjid, in the house from the house of Allah, that Allah azza wa jal gathers us together, fi a'ala jannati, in the highest place of His paradise, with the nabiyeen and the siddiqeen and the shuhada and the salihin. Allahumma ameen. So that's what Allah azza wa jal made easy for me to mention.
You guys have got a 10-minute break. But when Sheikh Abdul Rahman comes, you need to be sat down insha'Allah ta'ala. So until then, you have your time insha'Allah.
Subhanaka Allahumma wa bihamdika ash-shadu an la ilaha illa anta astaghfiruka wa atubu ilayka.
